I think the “behind-the-head” pass was completely unecessary, but one of the coolest I’ve ever seen.

Via: Break Videos

Next up is “New Moon“, the next installment in the “Twilight” franchise. The populace seems to be pretty divided about this series, with some clutching it to their heaving bosoms and declaring undying (or undead) love, and others wishing for a stake through the heart — their own hearts, which will spare them from having to live through another two movies after this second one flies out. I’ve neither read the books nor seen the movies, but even before all this hype, I was done with vampires. There’s nothing new going on, nothing exciting happening, and I’m a werewolf fan anyway.

So imagine my surprise to find a guy who turns not just into a wolf, but a gigantic freaking wolf at that. More like a dire wolf, my D&D brethren. That almost got me interested, until I saw the trailer with all of Bella’s moping smack in place, and I just went and had a steak instead. It’s unlikely that this movie will change your opinion of “Twilight” either way, but hey, at least there’s werewolves in it. Check out the trailer below:

Sarah Palin makes herself look bad every time she appears on television.

Am I the only one that didn’t get the message on this one?

I never was a big fan of the seesaw.

(Via: Break Videos)

What’s a wedding reception without a little pole dancing?

(Via: Break Videos)

Now, we’re all adults here, presumably. I think we can puzzle out what the acronym TWILF stands for. But the speculation has led people to seek an actual definition, with the result seeming to be something involving farting in the bathtub. That seems pretty unlikely, but even if we assume that to be true, the usage of “twilf” in conjunction with Twitter makes the meaning obvious.

What’s even funnier is that a great many sites are calling Al Gore out for this attack on Palin, even though I doubt very much that he had anything to do with the cartoon. Just because it’s partly his company doesn’t mean that he oversees every aspect of its day-to-day functions. What’s more, “GUN-HO” is an even more egregious attack than “twilf”, don’t you think? While it’s clearly a play on the term “gung ho”, usage of the word “ho” will probably be taken as a slur referring to loose sexual practice instead.

But above all else, this is satire and parody. All this kind of talk is allowable. I think everyone needs to calm down a bit and go back to whatever it was they were doing before they ever decided to become outraged by proxy on Palin’s behalf. She’s a big girl; she can defend herself. With a gun, apparently.

Starting today, WoW players will be able to claim their 5-charge Mohawk Grenades from Night Elf vendors outside every starting zone. What do they do? If you throw a Mohawk Grenade at another player, he or she will be temporarily given the Mr. T night Elf Mohawk appearance, as seen in the picture in this post. Mr. T makes the World of Warcraft look GOOOOD.

Chances are, if you’re not already playing WoW, you’ll just think this is more stupidity for pasty-faced shut-ins with too much time on their hands. If you are a player, though, you’ll likely love the fact that Blizzard is cool enough to have taken a one-time throwaway joke and turned it into a worldwide event. Either way, congratulations to Mr. T for keeping his name current in the hearts and minds of millions!

I’m surprised more people didn’t rush this guy.

It’s times like this that I want all of you who are reading this to get out, and convince women to become conservative icons. Cause DAMN. Fresh off of her appearance walking off the “Larry King Live” show, which should’ve been renamed Vapid Cunt Variety Hour, chastising Larry like she’s been in broadcasting for over 9000 years (as he has), news has leaked about Carrie Prejean’s tapes.

And there ain’t just one. There’s eight more. EIGHT. And over 30 pictures of her topless. Which means Carrie Prejean has had more of a career in porn than most porn stars. What’s the cutoff? I think after two tapes of you touching yourself leak, you should be considered a porn star. Or at least a vain technophile. One or the other. Some of the details of the alleged pictures? Most of them are of Carrie posing, by herself, in the mirror. How sad is that? All of the sex tapes you take are just of yourself solo, all the pictures you take are by yourself in the mirror? This is sadder than porn. At least porn stars get paid, and are fueled by a hunger for cocaine. Not an obsession with their genetic lottery.

Carrie Prejean is doing a book tour, for a book she probably didn’t write about the liberal media trying to tear her down. I think the liberal media is probably concerned with people who have the influence to get other people in their sex tapes. Not deposed beauty queens. If the media cared about deposed beauty queens, we’d have non-stop coverage on Sarah…never mind.

What are the names of the tapes, you ask?

Boobs vs. The Liberal Media

Prejean, Unsashed

Your Carmex Lotion Will Not Save You

And Now, For The Talent Portion

Just look at that picture. It’s like she’s saying, “I HAVE THIS MANY SEX TAPES.” Your move, Sarah Palin.

(Image Source)

These are always so much more entertaining when they say no.

(Via: Break)

It might be next to impossible to find a music video on MTV these days, but the medium is definitely not dead. Websites like YouTube have allowed, not only musicians, but also their fans, to showcase their videos. Some fan-made videos rival their official counterparts in terms of quality (or, at least, uniqueness).

Unk – “Walk It Out (Remix)” Ft. Andre 3000 & Jim Jones

Official Video

The official video for “Walk It Out” is typical hip-hop fare and it pales in comparison to the majesty of this fan-made gem, set to footage of Gwen Verdon performing a dance choreographed by Bob Fosse. Nearly every dance move lines up perfectly.

MGMT – “Kids”

Official Video

MGMT took their sweet time crafting an official video for “Kids,” allowing everyone in the world to get very, very sick of the song before hand. In the meantime, this fan-made video by USC student Jon Salmon (apparently thrown together at the last minute in order to meet a deadline for film class) garnered over fifteen million views and caused bucketloads of confusion about whether those two face-painted guys are MGMT (they aren’t). While the official video may be slightly superior (that’s Joanna Newsom carrying the kid around, by the way), the fan-made version stole all the thunder.

Lil Wayne – “Lollipop” Ft. Static Major

Official Video

Created using The Sims, this video sticks closely to the script for the official “Lollipop” video (ridiculously large limousine, microphone inexplicably rising out of the backyard patio, etc.). Remarkably, though, the Sims version of Weezy actually looks more human that the man himself (uncanny valley be damned).

Death Cab For Cutie – “Little Bribes”

Official Video: N/A

Death Cab liked this fan-made stop-motion video so much that they declared it the song’s official video. The band’s label even hired stop-motion animator Ross Ching to make another video in the future.

Grizzly Bear – “Two Weeks”

Official Video

The official video for indie quartet Grizzly Bear’s single “Two Weeks” is neat, but there’s something magical about Vimeo user Gabe Askew’s animated version. He estimates that it took about four weeks to complete. He explains his intricate production process in an interview here.

Throwdown – “Never Back Down”

Official Video: None exists. None could ever top this masterpiece.

Straight-edge hardcore band Throwdown has a relatively small, but fiercely loyal, fan base. It’s unknown whether one of the band’s fans created this video (which uses footage from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ “Out of Their Shells” tour in 1990), but I can’t imagine a tribute that Throwdown could be more proud of.

Yes, fake. All of the hemming and hawwing and talk over how vaccines are terrible and need to be tested more, mostly from the same people who say no food is safe to eat but raw food, and LOOK AT MY HYBRID CAR — their poster girl is fake. Sorry if I seem contemptuous, but I have no sympathy for people who go on national TV feigning illnesses and blaming them on a source that might actually do some good in the world.

Desiree was featured on a episode of NBC News, detailing her “ailment.” It became a sweeping hit on the internet, with remixes to UNK’s “Walk It Out”, and other such insensitive irreverence. Vaccine pundits used it as a cautionary tale; Generation Rescue adopted her as a poster child. But now, on her official website, which bears the ominous warning, “MY HUSBAND WARNED ME NOT TO GET A FLU SHOT…NOW I WISH I WOULD’VE LISTENED,” (what is this, a bad horror movie pitch?), she appears, with all her profound neurological trauma reversed. Amazingly. It’s almost a miracle. A miracle brought about by being treated by a quack doctor that used to inject his patients with urine.

And she still wants you to sign up for her mailing list.

Lesson learned: Don’t drink and try to ride the subway.

(Via: Break)

The 1993 Ford Taurus comes at a perfect time for cash-strapped Americans!

(Via: TheOnion)

“Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” was an epic videogame available for the Xbox, that was pretty much the most ridiculously fun Xbox game in history. So the movie people decided to port it over to the screen, adapted by people who gave you such classics as “The Uninvited”, and, uhh, “The Uninvited”. And also, the forthcoming “Sorcerer’s Apprentice”. I don’t know if that’s indicative of quality of the film, but I’m wagering that there will be wigs. Oh, there will be wigs. The plot? A good prince teams up with a rival princess to stop an angry ruler from unleashing a sandstorm that could destroy the world.

The verdict? Nice visuals. But for some reason, not only are the Persians not Persian, they speak English in a British accent. Perhaps borrowing a page from “300″, or “Troy”? When the Greeks spoke with poorly accented British lingo? And I love how all of the trailer’s exposition is just spoken by one woman. We’ll call her Exposition Lady. She say lines like, “You must take the Gilded Kitten to the Mineshaft of Destiny.” It’ll be interesting to see how big budget movies pan out in the near future. Cause this looks ridiculous, but that usually doesn’t stop people from watching them.

This can’t even be considered teenage pregnancy!

Via: WorldStarHipHop

You incredible bastards. Selling Snuggies and your music in a bundle? Truly, this is an unholy union.

Let me display some precognition of my own and deflect your critiques preemptively: I like Weezer. I like that they have been the standard-bearers of geek pride since your comic books were worth something. I like their music, and I’m totally going to steal their album on PirateBay buy their new album Raditude from a legitimate vendor as soon as I get the chance. But the Snuggie was woven into existence by Satan himself (and probably mass-produced with the aid of a few sweatshop workers). You can’t piss standing up in the damn thing and, frankly, man was not meant to be that fucking comfortable all the time.

If you care about the welfare of humanity, then join with me, the reanimated mummy of Samuel Morse, and my coalition of nerd loyalists who still rely on long johns and band t-shirts to keep our bony asses warm.

He just wants to do the simple stuff, he’s not promising diamond rings.

So, how weird must it be to be Michael Jackson’s parents, watching your recently deceased son on the silver screen, larger than life and by all accounts, happy doing what he does best? A couple of the family members have stated that they will not see it — at least, not for a while. Will it be any weirder for them than for the average MJ fan? They’re going to see a movie about their idol, preparing for what he hoped would be his comeback tour, which will now never be. Would it be better to hope that what they’ll see on-screen is bad, knowing it’ll never happen?

Is it at all ghoulish to have made this documentary in the first place? Is it a little too soon? I liked some of the guy’s work, but his increasingly bizarre appearance and offstage antics turned me away from being an actual fan, so I can’t answer these questions. Maybe “This Is It” will provide some closure for people. Maybe it will be a life-affirming show. I hope that whoever you are, you get out of it what you want to. Check out the trailer below:

Regardless, it’s quickly gaining a lot of airplay in “the club”, even if Dev sort of reminds me of Krusty The Clown.

It’s very important for you to like and appreciate what’s going on “in the club”, because “in the club” is where all the really cool things go on, like ‘waiting in lines’ and ‘drinking alcohol with a 400% price increase’. And waiting in line for a bathroom. And having the whole club smell like pee, anyway. And spending $40 on mid-range alcohol to give to some girl who for $2 you could have met at the coffee shop. And do you like talking to door people? Man, clubs are so awesome.

This kid deserves to go to the ESPYs what with this spectacular shot.

(Via: Break)

I just don’t get his appeal. How can Fox News watchers even come vaguely close to liking anything he says? He’s the smuggest asshole in the world, as is Glenn Beck, and they don’t so much pander to the idiots that watch Fox News, as they rub them on their heads and go, “yes you areeeee!” while decrying the Obama administration that’s working hard to protect civil liberties. I mean, HONESTLY, y’all. And now he jumps upon liking dead baby cow fetuses. What the hell. Is he drunk? Can I have what he is drinking? He is drunk on the blood of idiots. I want to punch him so bad it hurts. Just once! Just once when he isn’t looking. That’s all I want for Christmas.

What do you think? That people shouldn’t be “aborted cow fetuses” when writing to the O’Reilly show? Is that irony encapsulated? Aren’t the viewers of the O’Reilly show stupid enough without being coerced into 500-year-old Shakespearean words for “idiots”?

Anything with “Models” and “Strip” will make headlines.

(Via: BuzzFeed)

Lately, Direct TV has been taking classic films, and renovating the scenes digitally to have people talk to you about how awesome Direct TV is. You might remember ones featuring Terminator 2. In this new commercial, which is a clip from the movie Tommy Boy, David Spade talks about how awesome Direct TV is, with Chris Farley singing “Fat Guy In a Little Coat” in the background. This, understandably, has prompted bad reactions. People have accused David Spade for orchestrating a giant cash grab off of Farley’s image. Spade has countered:

Outrage over the commercialization of dead celebrities has been going on for quite some time, with Fred Astaire’s image used to sell Dirt Devils, Kurt Cobain’s used to sell shoes, and Mother Theresa’s used to sell bathtubs. Okay, the last one was made up. She actually did sell bathtubs in her lifetime. No, she didn’t.

But if Chris Farley was around, I think he’d still be up for anything. So maybe it’s not such a bad thing.

We all miss him.