They’ve come up with a new super-skinny jean that’s to “tribute” the ex-girlfriend you might have had who had great fashion sense.

Umm.

I might be totally off-base here, but do you want  to remind yourself of your ex-girlfriend by wearing crouch hugging pants? And if you loved your ex-girlfriend’s skinny jeans SO much that you needed a pair of your own.. i think we have more issues we need to discuss.

So remind yourself of that women you had in your life who squeezed the life out of you with Levi’s New “Skinny” Jeans!

Yay!

I can’t say that I would enjoy it if a guy 1) wore jeans smaller than mine 2) that reminded him of his ex girlfriend 3) that should off his super skinny legs… not so dreamy.

Someone is soooo going to get fired for this.

What do you think — Would you wear the new super skinny jean?

Exclusiv Vodka’s Valentine Love  

• 1 1/2 oz Exclusiv Vodka
• 1/2 oz raspberry liquor
• 1/2 oz simple syrup
• 5 rose petals
• champagne

In a collins glass muddle rose petals and simple syrup add ice. Pour vodka and raspberry liquor then fill with champagne. 

Exclusiv Vodka’s Saint Pats-tini 

• 2 oz Exclusiv Vodka
•  1/2 oz Creme de Cocoa
•  1 oz Bailey’s Irish Cream
• 1/2 oz green Creme de Menthe

Shake first three ingredients pour into a chilled martini glass and then sink Green Creme de Menthe.

Garnish with a mint leaf and chocolate shavings

From the gentle rolling wheat fields of Moldova, near the shores of the Black Sea, comes an escape reminiscent of icy mountain tops and crystal clear streams. What was once only for royalty and members of high society can now also be exclusively yours.

 With its Russian heritage gifting the highest standards for the production of vodka, Exclusiv Vodka is truly a world-class vodka. This luxurious tasting spirit is made with only the highest quality winter wheat and the finest distilling process, giving it a sweeter, more polished taste without polishing techniques, just like the members of high society preferred over the course of history.  

Join their Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/ExclusivVodka.

Here’s where it gets a little interesting.  While appearing in court, the records from the Fulton County Superior Court Clerks office indicate that the rapper filed a “special plea of mental incompetency” on December 27 2010, which indicates he is unable to “intelligently participate” in the revocation process [via MTV].  Rather than go to jail, Gucci Mane was sent to a mental health facility and was released Thursday.

Which brings me to Gucci’s new face tattoo… (click on the photos to enlarge.)

Some people questioned whether or not the mental incompetency plea was just an attempt to avoid jail time.  But insanity is obviously the only reason anyone would voluntarily permanently brand their FACE with an ice cream cone, even if their trademark is ‘Brrr.’

Russian Rookie and Blind Side Buffalo Wings

This first food and beverage face-off features a big kick – hot spicy wings and a refreshing vodka cocktail, the Russian Rookie. This rookie of a cocktail uses Russian Standard Vodka, the number one premium vodka in Russia, with your favorite energy drink! Russian Standard’s big bold flavor kicks this cocktail into high gear, hopefully like your favorite team’s punter – and will even cool off your mouth after the extra-spicy wings.

The Russian Rookie

1.5 oz of Russian Standard Vodka

5 oz energy drink

Garnish with a twist of orange

Lucid Linebacker and Nose Tackle Nachos:

A truly dynamic epicurean battle, this next match-up is the product of lots of layers. Lucid absinthe is at the heart of this combination, as the first absinthe to be legally available in the US, Lucid is gaining substantial mainstream popularity and this cocktail packs a punch – sure to cool-off your mouth from even the most zesty, jalapeño-heavy nachos. This unexpected flavor showdown certainly matches the good ol’ Linebacker – it might look sweet and innocent but this cocktail is a serious flavor explosion.

Lucid Linebacker

1 ½ oz. Lucid Absinthe

2 oz. Pineapple Juice

Muddled Mint Leaves

Lime Wedge

Topped with Sprite or 7-UP

Punter Punch and Chop Block Chili

Like Brad Smith of the Jets and Ronnie Brown of the Patriots, catch the defense off-guard and score big at this year’s party.

Grab a cup a chili, and mix up the perfect drink to wash it down with – a celebratory punch. A true punch is comprised of five main components: sugar, water, citrus, spice, and alcohol – and this cocktail classic is all about bringing people together. This punch uses Nicaragua’s best, Flor de Caña 7 year rum. A good cup of Chili, like punch, is comprised of many different ingredients. When mixed together, both can create a kaleidoscope of flavor sure to catch your senses off guard!

Punter Punch
4 oz. Flor de Caña 7-year Grand Reserve

8 sugar cubes

3 oz. club soda

2 oz. lemon juice

2 tsp peach brandy

2 tsp cinnamon bark syrup

2 oz. CAMUS Cognac

Method:

1. Dissolve the sugar cubes in 1 oz. of club soda (this generally involves muddling to help process)
2. After the sugar cubes are muddled/dissolved, add the rest of the ingredients one at a time and stir as added
3. Add ice once all of the ingredients have been added and stirred
4. Stir the punch until it is chilled

Strain the punch into a glass or punch bowl, depending on the size of the portion and top with 2 oz. club soda

This guy. He has been my favorite since he took the desk in the mid-90s.

On Wednesday’s show, guest Tim Gunn from Project Runway stated that men could wear jeggings. If you’re unfamiliar with jeggings, they are jeans, they are leggings–they are jeggings. While Gunn stated that men do, and can wear jeggings, let me state that you should not wear jeggings if you’re a boy, a man or somewhere in between. Gay, straight, still working it out–it’s a no on jeggings. UNLESS, perhaps,  you’re dancing in a some sort of a show…perhaps.

That being said, Conan decided to put the claim to the test. Why would I write about a glory that can only be enjoyed visually?

Do enjoy.

The Gap announced late on Monday that its new logo was to be removed from all company communications effective pretty much immediately after it was introduced. Officially, the starkly redesigned logo, which was sprung as a surprise on the fashion world when it suddenly appeared on the Gap’s website, lasted all of about a week.

In the words of Marka Hansen, the president of the Gap’s North American operations:

“Last week, we moved to address the feedback and began exploring how we could tap into all of the passion.” In other words, “People hate this logo. I mean, they really hate it.”

Hansen also added: “Ultimately, we’ve learned just how much energy there is around our brand. All roads were leading us back to the blue box, so we’ve made the decision not to use the new logo on gap.com any further.” In other words, “Ultimately, we’ve learned that our new logo is a hideous turd that spectacularly sucks.”

For posterity, Hansen concluded: “There may be a time to evolve our logo, but if and when that time comes, we’ll handle it in a different way.” In other words, “Yup, this expensive and embarrassing blunder is sure as hell going to cost someone their job…just not me. I mean, I didn’t design the stupid thing, did I?”

No. She didn’t. Laird & Partners, a high-brow New York City agency, did. And here’s a guess: if and when the time comes to evolve the Gap’s iconic blue-and-white logo, they won’t suddenly change it to something quite so ugly.

He is my favorite contemporary artist. Thanks to the fact that all of you are curious as to who he is and what he does, I get to share a bit.

In fact, I suppose the thanks should go to Google, which has added the ability to customize their clean, white homepage with pre-selected images, as well as images you can upload from Picasa Web Albums. If you wanna know how to make the switch, simply look in the bottom left hand corner of the Google homepage. Props to Google, once again. Love those guys and gals.

Digressing. Dale Chihuly. My wife got me into this guy’s work about a decade ago. I was familiar with his work, but never knew his name before then. Chihuly is the most prominent glass worker/artist in the world, and his creations are absolutely mind-blowing. Truly gorgeous.

Yes, my Google page is set to his work, and it will inspire my web-searching capabilities. If you have ever been to the Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, you’ve probably seen some of his glass work as a floral canopy, engrossing the ceiling in one of the lobby hallways. If you have a chance to see his work in exhibition, don’t hesitate.

Chihuly was born in Tacoma, Washington, and took in some formal education at the College of the Puget Sound, before transferring to the University of Washington at Seattle a year later. He received his bachelors in Interior Design. He went on to receive his Masters of Science in sculpture at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, and also received a Masters of Fine Arts from the Rhode Island School of Design.

If you’ve seen him, you’re curious–why the eye-patch? No, it’s not some weird artist thing. Chihuly was in a head-on car accident in 76, and was thrown through the windshield. He was left blind in his left eye. I inappropriately call him a pirate when referring to him, but it’s with mad-respect and awe that I do so.

Three years later he dislocated his shoulder in a body surfing accident, and at that point, he could no longer work with the glass blowing pipe. Because of this, he teamed with glass artists and has described himself as “more choreographer than dancer, more supervisor than participant, more director than actor.”

(Image via: Galaide.org)

Not to worry, men! Now you can tap into the secret weapon women have been using for years: Shapewear.

In feminine circles, “shapewear” is code for any garment worn under clothes to suck you in, hold you tight and keep your shape sleek, trim and smooth.

Women everywhere from skinny Gwynny Paltrow and bootylicious Beyonce depend on garments like Spanx to keep them looking hot on the red carpet. And guess what! Shapewear ain’t just for the ladies anymore — the men’s shapewear market is booming.

“We are selling them as quickly as Spanx can make them,” said Nickelson Wooster, the men’s fashion director at Neiman Marcus. “Men may not be talking about it, but they’re buying it.” This month Spanx for Men arrived in Bloomingdale’s, Saks Fifth Avenue and Nordstrom, and online at sites like freshpair.com.

Manshaper products include chest shaping t-shirts and undershirts, man girdles or “mirdles”, to help suck in the belly, padded butt boxer briefs to add a little extra junk to the man-trunk, and  package enhancers, to put your, um, best asset forward.

Brands like Sculptees and Equmen are apparently making a killing in the underrepresented manshaper market, and both companies admit that in-store sales can’t compare to online sales as men prefer to shop anonymously for their manshapers of choice.

Waddaya think? Will you be sporting a manshaper product under your clothes any time soon? Check out this news piece on the new must-have manshapers.

Body

Nothing, and I mean nothing, is sexier to a gal than  a man who smells gooood. Choose a scent that compliments your personality and style – clean and sporty, woodsy and warm or natural and fresh are your general cologne categories. Layer your scent for long lasting results by lathering up with the body wash in the same line as your chosen fragrance – we guarantee your lady friends will want to get closer.

Face

You probably have this down by now, but well groomed facial hair and a close shave are sure signs to a woman that you’re a man who takes care of business.

Ditch the disposable razors and invest in a good cartridge razor combo (the kind where you keep the handle but replace the blade head), then choose a shave gel or cream that helps bust breakouts and ingrown hairs. Ingredients like aloe, tea tree oil and vitamin E are all skin soothers that can help fight bumps.

For the smoothest skin, shave during or right after a shower so pores are open and hairs are easier to cut. Replace your razor blade as soon as you notice a not-so-close shave or faster re-growth. Take it to the next level and use a moisturizer with at least SPF 15 – your skin will thank you.

Hair

Besides nixing nasty hair issues like dandruff or excessive oiliness, your one-step shampoo should do the trick. Beyond that, it’s all about product.  Whether you have curly, straight, thin or thick hair, the right product can make all the difference. Steer clear of stiff, sticky gels and sprays in favor of creams, pomades and pastes. Basically, if you can rub it between your palms without it getting too gooey, it means we’ll be willing to run our fingers through it when it’s in your hair.

Nails

Attention men: your hangnails and dry cuticles are scratchy on our sensitive lady bits. To make sure your touch is tantalizing, keep your nails trimmed to a short, even length with nail clippers. Take off any rough stuff with an emery board, then moisturize. We recommend Kiehl’s or Burt’s Bees.

Bonus points awarded for:

Lip balm
We know you hate applying it because it makes you look silly, but really guys, it pays to have great looking (and feeling) lips.

Foot care
Yes, we do care about the state of your feet. The nails should be clean and trimmed, the heels should not have the texture of tree bark, and please, for the love of god, if you have a foot odor issue, fight it with scented inserts, foot sprays or powders. We appreciate the effort.

If you’ve been putting off learning CPR because it just isn’t sexy enough, you no longer have any excuse.

SuperSexyCPR.com has launched and the site features a video of two scantily-clad women engaged in the act of CPR. One of the women is apparently near death and in need of emergency medical attention, though you wouldn’t know it by looking at her (feel free to look closely for signs of trauma… I know I did).

Based on my rudimentary knowledge of CPR (I would have paid closer attention in class if my instructor had looked like either of these women), the advice in the video seems to be fairly accurate. It may not be necessary to straddle the victim before applying chest compressions, but who am I to judge? What I do know is that it’s vital to find the nipples before applying pressure to the sternum. You really need to locate those suckers.

Sure, the video is clearly part of a viral advertising campaign for Fortnight Lingerie, but is that such a bad thing? We all got to watch two women make out in their underwear and we learned something in the process. If that’s not a win-win situation, I don’t know what is.

We’re obsessed. We’re obsessed with the next thing that promises losing weight will be easy. The Flat Belly Diet! is another incarnation of eating less and more often. Smaller portions, enjoy the foods you like, drink enough water and lose up to 20 pounds in 4 weeks. No exercise required.

Well, thank God. Exercise being a tool of the devil and all.

I promise not to do this often, but having a background and sustained passion in the realm of health and fitness, I gotta sound off. Stop chewing on these trends, people. Sure, the “Flat Belly Diet!” (what’s up with the exclamation point?) was developed by the editors of Prevention Magazine, but they’re editors of a magazine. In all fairness, it is a great magazine, but you wanna lose weight and enjoy a “flat belly” that will last? It’s gonna take work. Discipline. Routine. Habit.

What we don’t enjoy in the United States are nutritious diets, and what we’ve become increasingly fond of is doing the least amount possible to achieve a “look.” Whatever happened to wanting a body that was healthy on the inside, and could perform? Obsessed, I say!

Because I’m so tired of all the hype about diet trends, I thought I’d toss some nutrition and exercise science your way. You want an incredible book about the science of nutrition? The Zone, by Dr. Barry Sears. Sure, it became trendy, but a read of the book and you’ll never look at food the same way again. You want an exercise program/programs and dietary supplements that work wonders? Check out the stuff Beach Body is doing. Yeah, the P-90X people.

Are you bored of running on the treadmill, riding the stationary bike or working the elliptical? Get outside of the box. You ever see an overweight paint-baller? How about playing a mean game of capture the flag? Dodgeball? Free-run/Parkour?

Yes. Drink lots of water. At least 8 glasses/day, and if you’re highly active, even more!

(Image via: Edgewriter)

Everybody knows people get freaky in Japan. It’s one of those constants in the world, like the sun, death, and Uwe Boll fisting celluloid intensely. But it’s interesting how freaky they get.

Japan Airlines suffered a bankruptcy announcement in January, after operating for more than 50 years under heavy financial duress. We’re talking heavy financial duress, son. We’re talking losing more than ¥100 billion in a single quarter. And for more than 50 years, it appears that Japanese men have desperately wanted to have sex with flight attendants. Cancel that, men in general have desperately wanted to have sex with flight attendants, but only the Japanese Airlines uniforms can fetch a fortune on the black market.

Japan Airlines keeps painstaking records to make sure none of them get out, by affixing a serial number on each one, and tracking where they are all over the world. The uniforms are sold, on average, for more than 18,000 dollars once one of them gets out, which a few have through theft.

That is insane. That’s like a sexy maid outfit being sold at a Christie’s auction.

(Source)

(Image via allthingscool)

Scion will reveal their latest model at the New York International Auto Show on May 31, 2010. To create a little buzz around the event, they have developed a countdown website: The Scion Dimension. It offers a few daily sneak peeks, and will unleash its fury on the world wide web after the tarp is pulled from the new ride in the city that never sleeps.

With the word Dimension hovering around the unveiling, I’m very curious to see the newest addition to the Scion family. I do have a 12 year old who might be interested in a used one of these in about four years–if it’s as cool as they’re billing it! However, I think I may have my hopes set too high.

To me, New Dimension doesn’t suggest body line or contour, it suggests time travel. For some reason, I think I may be overestimating the ability of the flux capacitor in this ride. And yeah, when I say flux capacitor, I mean four-cylinder. Either way, I’m sold. I’ll be stopping by on Wednesday, March 31st, to see exactly what Scion has to offer.

At present Scion is a bright spot seen through the black eye of the Toyota Motor Corporation. A sweet, gas saving, trendy ride, could be just what the world’s leading auto manufacturer could use right now.

(Image via: Megawatt PR)

And man, the Biltmore did not disappoint. This place serves cocktails that’ll blow your mind. And we’re not just saying that ’cause we had eight of ‘em. Nope. See you go to the Biltmore for the history and the unique, unrepeatable atmosphere, but the real treasure here is Greg Guzelian, the guy behind the Gallery Bar.

Greg has been a staple at the Biltmore for 26 years. His cocktails are so memorable that one visiting patron ended up naming a bar in Japan after him.

Brian Wright, the Biltmore’s resident Beverage Manager, and a guy who knows a thing or two about mixing amazing cocktails himself, told us about this one regular who comes in three times a week, sits at the same table and just gets down with his favorite drink prepared by Greg.

“It’s just a Kettle One martini,” Brian said, “but the way he stirs it.”

To the uninitiated, mixing drinks doesn’t look that hard. I mean all you got to do is mix some stuff together, shake the shit out of it and pour it in a glass. Sounds simple, right? Not at the Biltmore. That’s not how they do it.

You see Greg Guzelian is a true master in the mixology game. He knows that with a distilled-driven cocktail like a Manhattan, the goal isn’t to shake up all the elements unevenly and bruise the spirits. The trick is to treat each drink with individual care, slowly stirring each ingredient until you have a gentle combination of flavors and a seamless blend of dissolved ice. There’s no rule on how long you stir. It’s just a feel that’s developed over time. It sounds almost too subtle to notice, but it’s not. You can tell the difference right away.

The Manhattan’s simplicity lends itself to creative interpretation, and that creativity is on full display every night at the Biltmore. The newly updated Manhattan Menu at the Biltmore features six variations on the “king of cocktails.”

Classic Manhattan

Simply a classic, timeless cocktail. “Just as a standard, we hit it with a lot of bitters,” Brian explained. They also don’t throw some cheap-ass ice cream sundae cherry in there either. It’s an Amarelle, not a Maraschino. Can’t go wrong with this one.

Central Park

A creamy desert concoction served with actual nuts. Seems strange at first, but the texture does add to the experience. You get Woodford Reserve, Drambuie and Frangelico with a splash of cream. On the sweet side, but quite mellow. Nice cocktail for the winter time.

The Big Apple

Yea right – apple martini for a bourbon lover. But actually, that’s exactly what it is. This cocktail’s got Apple Schnapps, Di Saraonno, Wild Turkey and cranberry juice. It doesn’t taste like a jolly rancher, either. It’s pretty damn good.

Grand Manhattan

This was the one.  A money combination of Knob Creek, Grand Marnier and Martini & Rossi Sweet. It’s features a splash of orange, and just to add to the performance, they break out a torch, caramelize an orange wheel in front of you and add it to the mix as a garnish. Don’t see that everywhere.

Manhattan Vacation

This one’s more for the ladies. Or for dudes who like daiquiris. It’s a bit on the fruity side but again, nothing overwhelming. Just pineapple, orange and apple juices chilling comfortably with some Matini & Rossi Sweet and some Gentleman Jack.

Manhattan’s Last Call

If you got a sweet tooth, the tart, stomach-settling flavor of the Manhattan’s Last Call is a great way to end the night. Maker’s Mark meets Peter Herring Cherry Liqueur with some lemon juice bringing it all together. Tasty.

The Manhattan is a throwback beverage born in an era before ultra light beer, Jaeger bombs and vodka Red Bulls. It’s  liquid swagger housed in a posh martini glass. They call it the king of cocktails for a reason — the Manhattan is an experience.

So the next time you feel the need to get bottle service in Hollywood, smoke Parliaments in Silver Lake or hit up a lazy spot on the Westside, check out what’s going on downtown at the Biltmore instead.

You may want to snazz up your attire a bit, but if you don’t, no one’s going to trip. The foie gras was taken off the menu awhile ago, so if you need to grab some grub you can pronounce, the bar can accommodate.

Go to soak up the ambiance (they’ve got live music on the weekends) and sip on the gently stirred Manhattans. If Manhattans aren’t really your thing, try the Black Dahlia or the French Kiss. Either way, go meet Greg and watch the man do his thing. You’ll have a new appreciation for cocktails that taste amazing.

Thanks Leslie, Brian and Greg for showing the Manolith team such a great time.

For starters, here is a quick, printable bracket that you can fill out:

Pick Manager.

Now, let’s get down to business. You’re obviously printing this to get your picks down and enter a pool of some sort, right? Are you going to take advantage of all the other contests associated with March Madness and the 2010 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament? You should. Big money to win, and it costs you nothing to enter. The more you enter, the better your chances of taking a prize in something. The best and most reputable contests are offered by CBS Sports and ESPN:

CBS Bracket Challenge

CBS Round by Round Brackets

ESPN Tournament Challenge

All of these brackets can be printed after you’ve completed your picks on the site.

If you’re into gambling on the games, you’ll find all kinds of deals on the web, including a free, multi-million dollar perfect bracket challenge at BetUS. BetUS is also boasting 15 game parlays, if you just know which team is gonna take those first round match-ups.

If you need a little help making your picks, I’m already working through my list of potential upsets. Also, I’ll be updating this post if I find other contests worth mentioning, so check back!

(Image via: Black Athlete Sports Network)

Weep no more, future cubicle monkey! “100 Totally Awesome DIY Projects For Your Dorm Room” can help! For the low, low cost of no money down and no money for months after, you can reap the benefits of other people’s ingenuity and learn how to spice up your domicile with these handy tips.

Organized by categories like “Wall Decor”, “Organization and Storage”, “For the Bed”, and “Party Time”, this page of links gives you everything you need to make your cell-away-from-home a place to actually look forward to inhabiting. Most of these projects have the average student’s budget in mind, so you don’t need to worry about spending your precious beer funds on livening up the shack. I mean, c’mon, don’t you want to know how to make a beer-launching fridge? Sure you do! And really, any list that includes something called a “draft snake” is worth the price of admission alone. Check it out!

Breaking bones has been a rite of passage since time immemorial. But now, not only can you have fun while you’re breaking them, you can have fun while you’re healing too.

That usually doesn’t happen. Unless you’re in a hyperbaric chamber, or something. But it will now, thanks to the miracle of casts! Not just ordinary casts though, casts with specialized cast decals! Normally painting or putting decals over injuries is a medical method reserved for the stoned skaters of the world, but thanks to an up and coming company, not only will you be the life of the party with your custom-made cast, but a walking vessel of hilarity as well.

The companies name? Casttoos. Not only is it an adorable word that might come out of the mouth of Tweety bird, but a brilliantly commercial idea. You simply email in the image that you want to put on your cast, and they’ll e-mail you a decal you can put on with a hairdryer.

So what would I put on my cast? Tweety bird. Breaking out of my bones. A bullet wound, perhaps. Maybe a cyborg shell breaking free of my mortal, fleshy coil.

Who knows? They’re between twenty to forty bucks, so it’s an easy purchase to make that accident where you crossed your skis look WAAY cooler.

(Source)

It’s no secret that I love beer. Lots and lots of beer. To me, there’s nothing better than kicking back after a hard days work with a cold one and relaxing. It’s like a little piece of Heaven on Earth. Inevitably though, I always find myself peeling off the labels of the bottle, and playing around with them. Well now you and I have a chance to play with our labels in a different way, thanks to Newcastle Brown Ale.

America’s number one imported ale (brought to us by the fine folks at Heineken) is holding a contest, in where you can design your own beer labels, and submit them for a chance to have your design featured on the Newcastle website.

“The Newcastle logo, with its unusual ‘cottage loaf’ shape and its iconic blue star, has inspired hundreds of photo collages and tattoo designs. We’re encouraging Newcastle drinkers to tailor individual labels with their own uniquely different, personalized touches,” said Colin Westcott-Pitt, Brand Director, Newcastle Brown Ale. “Our online program gives fans a chance to show off their artistic skills and, for one designer, on our Web site.  We expect our judging panel will be inspired by the variety of designs our fans will submit.”

Okay, how cool does that sound? I’m by no means a great artist, but based on my love of beer, I think this is something I’m going to have to try my hand at. Even if I don’t win, at least it will give me something to do while I’m chilaxin’ with my suds.

To enter, go to the Newcastle Brown Ale website before March 14, which they’ve totally revamped into an artists studio, and begin playing around with your digital design. Of course, you have to be 21 years-old to enter, and be a resident of the United States, but man, what a great chance to have your work featured.

Hey, it’s just another reason to love beer!

Okay, I know I said that I really want to go and visit New York City, but when something like this comes along, it makes even me question the fate of humanity.

There are thousands of muggings in New York City every year that range from purses being stolen, to 101-year-old ladies getting beat down. In other words; people muggings. Human vs. human. You know what I mean. It’s just a fact that when you live in one of the biggest, craziest cities in the world, you’re going to have some trouble every once in a while. I can accept that.

For Donna McPherson, though, trouble came her way when a mugger stole the coat off of her…dog? WTF NYC? She went into the store for “two minutes” to buy some milk, so she tied up her 10-year-old Westie, Lexie, and when she came back, little Lexie was freezing his pooch off after his green wool coat with leather trim and belt had vanished.

Again, what the hell is wrong with this world? I can see being mugged for your dog, but a dog being mugged for a coat? That’s low, man.

Regardless, I still hope to visit the Big Apple one day. Luckily I’m a cat person, so I don’t expect to run into this problem. They want my wallet? Fine. They can have my eight bucks, but don’t mess with my feline, cause I’ll get medieval on your ass.

It should be noted that in the case of Donna McPherson and Lexie, Verne Troyer is not a suspect. Yet.

(Photo Via: Wpix)

Kim Kardashian

But you’re into T&A, right?

First off, I have no idea what Kim Kardashian is famous for. She’s the scion of wealthy individuals, one of the millions of them that are on the planet. She’s like Paris Hilton, only she’s not as easy to make fun of. Therefore Kim Kardashian is less fun than Paris Hilton. Wrap your head around that. She’s the star of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, a show that draws E!’s highest ratings, but the again E! is a network based entirely off of fellating celebrities.

And finally, celebrity perfume is something that’s always mystified me. It’s celebrity-sponsored perfume. You’re not going to wind up smelling like the celebrity. Which is the only reason why I’d buy celebrity perfume instead of normal, work-a-day perfumes. If Britney Spears’ Curious actually smelled like Britney Spears — like the sweat of her handlers and cigarettes — then I’d buy it, do doubt.

But does Kim Kardashian’s fragrance smell like Kim Kardashian? With a description of a voluptuous scent? How can a scent be voluptuous? Does it make you larger??

I don’t get it. Buy your lady some perfume.

Link:

According to Diesel, “being stupid” is the new cool. The popular denim jeans brand is embracing “stupid” and turning it into a positive. In case you’re late on the scene, the word stupid has taken somewhat of a positive connotation as of late. For example, rappers such as Lil Wayne, Young Jeezy and Kanye West have all embraced the new “stupid.”

Diesel explains the “Be Stupid” movement as a chance to be “liberated” from all those people who dismiss your originality. “Stupid is the liberating alternative to dry-as-dust cerebral (so called ’smart’) and it takes courage, loads!”

In order to give credit where credit is due, we must first applaud the late rapper Mac Dre and his cult classic “Get Stupid.” As a apart of the West Coast Hyphy movement in the early ’00s, it was cool to “get stupid” and wild out on the dance floor. Since then the word has died down, but is now finally gaining its momentum back. Are you going to “Be Stupid” in 2010?

As we state often, there are always exceptions to every rule, but some things are fairly universal. Women tend to hold their own birthdays in high regard; there’s the happy party vibe, and there’s the mild self-loathing that accompanies her feeling of getting one year older. It’s a tense time for any would-be gift giver, to be sure. There are certain things that guys simply should not get their girlfriends for their birthdays, however — unless she explicitly asks for them. Some could get a guy slapped, and some might hurt not for what they could get him, but for what he won’t be getting after giving them. These are the 15 worst birthday gifts to give a girlfriend; don’t make any of these mistakes.

Any Household Appliance

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Nothing says romance like a vacuum cleaner. You may think you’re being thoughtful, but the sight of a brand new toaster, vacuum, iron, and so on is tantamount to saying “how about you clean up your dump of an apartment.” Unless she’s in genuine need of one of these things, and asks for it, this is not what you want to hand her on that special day.

Acne or Wrinkle Creams

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We see women spend ridiculous amounts of money and time on facial creams, exfoliants, complexion repair treatments, “age-defying” lotions and all the other things they gobble up on a regular basis. Some of us might get the bright idea to get a girl some of this stuff for her birthday, thinking it’s normal and apparently appreciated. We’d be wrong. Getting a girl anything but scented lotions is like saying she needs some work done, and she’s not likely to appreciate that very much.

Gym Membership

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This should be a no-brainer, but it happens. Guys run into the problem fairly often; their girl gets a little lazy with work and school and setting aside relaxation time, or there’s just too many shots and not enough laps — whatever the case may be, getting her a gym membership is not the answer. It’s liable to get you slapped if you’re not careful (duck fast) and there’s really no way around the fact that it’s pretty insulting.

Nose Hair Trimmer

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As odd as this sounds, it’s happened more times than should ever be counted. Usually as part of a bigger package, lazy guys make the mistake of not accounting for the unisex nature of travel kits. It’s bad enough that you’re handing your girlfriend a totally insincere, last minute “gift,” but having a nose hair trimmer as part of the deal is like a slap to the face — something you should probably expect if you try this one.

A Cook Book

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Much like the household appliances, this screams anything but romance. In fact, what it says most is “get to the kitchen and make me sandwich.” You may as well hand her some oven mitts, an apron, and a bag of flour while you’re at it. As nice as it’d be, we don’t live in the world of Mad Men, and you’d be safer taking her out to dinner instead of giving her instructions on how to make you dinner.

A Bikini Wax Kit

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This says “I don’t like the way your whole crotch looks, and I’d like you to change that for me.” Not exactly the romantic message you want to send to a girl on her birthday, is it? A gift certificate to an expensive, full service salon/spa that also offers bikini wax services is a better bet. You never know, while she’s there, she may decide on her own to go ahead and trim the grounds.

Facial Hair Remover

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These things, hilarious as they may be, are all the rage right now among women. They apparently do work for all sorts of things, but women don’t generally react well to guys suggesting they use them. You may think you’re being clever in getting her a useful tool to use in her never ending quest for beauty, but she’ll think you’re telling her she has a mustache and a unibrow.

A Stripper Pole

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No matter how much she may flirt with the idea of getting one of these things, her birthday is not the day to present her with one. If she decides she wants a stripper pole, an event for which the odds are decidedly against, then feel free to offer to buy her one when that time comes. Just don’t be that guy who gives his girlfriend a stripper pole for her birthday; you’ll never hear the end of it.

Workout Videos

Somewhat like the stripper pole, these ridiculous things are often talked about by women who are fully aware of how dumb they are, but still find some recreational and exercise value in them. The thing is, you can’t just up and give her one of these workout DVDs, and you definitely can’t do it on her birthday. It’s basically saying “you could use this, you’ve been letting yourself go.”

Expensive Diet Plans

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You watch her eat like a bird, she’s picky as hell, she wants to lose five pounds, she eyes every diet in every magazine, and so on, and so on. It doesn’t matter what she says or thinks, you’re not supposed to agree with her in the first place, much less force any sort of diet on her. Even if you spend $1000 on some fancy, wholly ridiculous diet plan and hand it to her, you’re still saying “you’re fat, eat this instead, fatty.”

Tickets to an Event You Want to Attend

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This is usually pretty hilarious to watch take place, but painful at the same time. It goes something like this: Guy wants to go to game/concert/fight/etc. Girl wants to go see [insert any female singer/songwriter] live in concert. Guy doesn’t listen and/or care and buys “her” a pair of extremely expensive tickets to the event that he wants to see, and hands them to her acting like he just gave her an amazing gift. She struggles not to strangle him, thinks he’s an idiot, and she’s right.

Anything for Her Car

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You might think you’re being super helpful and cute by getting her something for her car; maybe it’s a set of matching seat covers or maybe it’s a GPS navigation unit, or even a new sound system that makes your own look like crap. News flash: Chicks don’t really care. If it’s some sort of interior add-on, she’s probably not going to like the color, because she would rather choose it herself or not buy it at all. If it’s electronics, then she probably won’t see the use in it since her stuff works just fine, or she’ll use it like it’s cheap OEM garbage and completely waste the money you spent on it. Just leave her car alone, it’s not worth going there.

The Walgreens Special

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Evidence that a guy completely forgot or blew off his girlfriend’s birthday until the very last minute, the Walgreens Special is simple: You hit up Walgreens or any drug store that lies between work and home, and raid the place for anything and everything that could possibly fill the gaping hole that should be filled with a real birthday present.

A Card with Money

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What are you, her grandfather? Nothing says love like a wad of cash, right? Giving her money for her birthday is basically treating her like a prostitute, and that’s how she’ll feel. You may as well leave it on the nightstand, and give her a slap on the ass while you’re at it. Don’t be her John, be her boyfriend.

Nothing at All

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While, in most cases, she won’t even say a word should you get her absolutely nothing for her birthday, this is the absolute worst thing you could do. Even if she swears up and down for three months beforehand that she doesn’t want a present from you, you should attempt to find some way to honor her wishes but go against them at the same time — even if it’s a single flower, or taking her out to dinner. Just don’t blow it off like you got away with something, she’ll remember it.

Regardless, you’d be nuts to wear any of this. Unless perhaps you’re from the future, like, Evil Bill and Evil Ted from the second Bill and Ted movie. I’m wondering if you should take his clothes very seriously and actually go out and wear these things. I mean, persay you were in Boston, at a ‘how do you like dem apples’ bar, and you walked in wearing this. You’d get the shit kicked out of you. I’m just saying. Surely there must be a midpoint between crazy awesome fashion and the real world. But I digress, you should make up your own mind.

View McQueen’s Entire Collection.

So we hear you like scary things. We hear you like Japanese things. We hear you like scary Japanese things. A lot of things fall under this category, such as the full body pillow decorated as a school girl, or the vending machines that – um – ‘vend’ – schoolgirls used panties. Or perhaps the skirt that – I shit you not – folds up to make yourself look like an actual vending machine. YES that exists and YES you should google it.

Anyway, in all my internet perusing I sometimes find nuggets of radness such as this. It is from Japan and it is a little manga story that is scarier than Michael Vick in a pet store (2009 joke!). Now, as you may well be aware, anime ruins everything. This is a proven fact – that the Japanese cartoon styling that fits under the umbrella category of ‘anime’ is entirely a terrible, terrible thing. No good has come out of anime whatsoever other than comical Mountain Dew guts on the bodies of nerdy dudes. Regardless of my hatred towards anime I was shocked to both enjoy and actually feel emotions after I read this: it’s a short story done in manga about a mountain and holes in the mountain and I’ll spare you the details. It ran in 2002 and I’m surprised they haven’t made it into a movie yet. Anyway: CLICK HERE TO CRAP YOUR PANTS.

While there are exceptions to every rule, the fact remains that the rule exists. Most women, like men, will behave in certain expected ways, especially once in a committed relationship. Some of us may be lucky enough to find a woman who somehow manages to break all the rules, but those are about as common as unicorns, and let’s just face facts here, there’s no such thing as unicorns. These are the 15 most annoying things that most girlfriends do, and yes — you have to put up with all of them.

Random Item Relocation

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Nothing could be more vexing to realize while heading out the door than that you have no idea to where your hat, jacket, or even shoes have disappeared to. Girlfriends have an uncanny knack for arbitrarily deciding that there is a proper place for an item you have improperly placed for months, or even years on end — without incident. When you finally exhaust your searching abilities and ask them where they’ve hidden your stuff, their response is nearly always that it’s where it belongs. Where that may be, only they will know.

Unwanted “Organization” of Your Stuff

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Much like the singular item relocation, girlfriends will take it upon themselves to upgrade your imperfect organization of stuff, your stuff. Whether it’s your DVD collection, your sock drawer, or everything in the kitchen, she’ll completely overhaul the system you had going. Trying to explain to them that you even had a system to begin with is a waste of breath, since they will promptly explain to you that that isn’t really a system at all and that their way is the right way.

Constant Overdressing

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Whether you feel like going to McDonald’s or the classy joint downtown, your girlfriend will likely dress as though you’re going to a fancy soirée and spend no less than an hour preparing for it. It doesn’t matter that you’ll only need about two minutes to put on your jeans and find where she’s hidden your socks. To the same tune; when winter starts dropping the temperature, she’ll begin dressing as though there’s a blizzard outside when it’s barely cold enough for a sweatshirt. Her excuse for this is usually that her ears get cold, when it’s far more likely that she doesn’t like her light jacket anymore, and wants to wear her parka because it’s cuter.

She’s Late for Everything

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There is no difference between getting ready to go to the bar, out to dinner, out to a movie, to see your parents, or to cross the street and sit at the park. Girlfriends often feel the need to spend an hour (or three) preparing themselves for the outing. If you wise up to this early, and give them a full five hours warning, they will wait until 20 minutes beforehand to begin this preparation. Despite decades of intense social-study on the subject, there is no logical explanation for this.

The Sheer Amount of Toiletries She Needs

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Men like to keep their bathrooms distinctly spartan, that is until a girlfriend arrives and inevitably stakes her claim. We tend to have a couple of items to support our shaving habits, some deodorant, shampoo, soap and a toothbrush. She, however, will bring half of Walgreens with her and set it up on every conceivable flat surface she can find, and possibly even add some shelving to facilitate the takeover.

She Whines About Everything

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Work, another woman’s hair, her own hair, her thighs, another woman’s thighs, the weather, her mother, your mother, your socks; it really doesn’t matter what the subject is, because she can and will whine about everything. Things that guys don’t even think about seem to irk women, and they all come out when a girlfriend takes root in your life.

Pillows – Millions of Pillows

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One might think that beds are made for sleeping in, but they’d be wrong. Apparently, unbeknownst to men everywhere, beds are in fact made to hold as many pillows as possible. Only a fraction of the pillows present are actually functional at any given point in time, while the rest are there for some unstated purpose. Sleeping on the bed requires several minutes of relocating pillows to suitable locations, which of course will be designated by the woman who placed them to begin with.

She Can’t Just Let Food Be Food

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Guys don’t have a problem coming home to a fridge full of beer, bread, ketchup and hot dogs. We’ll be happy as clams in front of the TV with our minimalistic, efficient foodstuffs. Women can’t live like that; they need to have something different every day, and whatever it is, it can’t be plain. It has to be dressed up, special, gourmet. Ideally speaking, women wouldn’t even eat at home if they could help it — there’d always be “that cute little place” downtown. Whatever that place is, it changes with the weather.

She’s Attached to Her Phone

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It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of dinner, a movie, a shower, or even sex (it’s happened to more guys than would ever admit it), most girlfriends are absolutely attached to their phones. They don’t actually have to accomplish anything on them, they just have to have them nearby. Usually, it’s a marathon round of texting that began six years ago when they met their best friend, and hasn’t ceased since. During the texting lull, however, you can count on her chatting away incessantly with any number of people, up to and including your own mother.

She Cries at the Drop of a Hat

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It could have been because she stubbed her toe, or it could have been because she thought she stubbed her toe, and the idea of stubbing her toe was stressful enough an event to cause her to cry. Whatever the case may be, she cries at least once a week for what seems like no discernible reason. Technically, there’s always a reason, but it almost always winds up existing solely in her own head.

Movies: She Ruins Their Very Existence

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This isn’t so much because she talks during your favorite part, or that she can’t stop fidgeting or playing with her phone during the movie. Those things are true, but the main problem here is a combination of her taste in movies, her insistence that you watch the movies she wants to see, and her (likely) complete lack of desire to actually pay enough attention to movies you want to watch to actually learn to enjoy them. On the whole, the effect is ruinous. Just bear with her on the chick flicks, and when you want to see something — leave her at home. You’ll enjoy it so much more that way.

She Can’t Be Content Just Staying Home

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Primary motivation for guys to go out all the time as single males is because they’re single males. We go out, whether we realize it or not, with the understanding that we stand a better chance of getting laid that way. Once we have a girlfriend, the going out dwindles to a minimum, and it doesn’t so much phase the majority of us if we’re happy in our relationship. Women on the other hand, feel an intense urge to go out. They want to dress up, to be in public, to feel like socialites, and their logic is simple: They’ve got a closet full of fancy clothes they don’t need to wear at home.

She’s Got a Selectively Perfect Memory

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Girlfriends remember every single fight we’ve ever had with them. They’ve got them all, stored and cataloged in their minds for use at a later date, but they only ever seem to remember the arguments in which they came out the victor. They also remember every single time we’ve been late for something, or forgotten something they wanted us to remember. They remember everything with crystal clarity — when they want to. Otherwise, mysterious memory lapses just seem to strike at the oddest moments.

Constant Guilt-Tripping and Martyrdom

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This seems to go hand in hand with the selective memory and the crying at the drop of a hat. Women can claim martyrdom as a last resort to win any argument, while crying. They might make an outlandish claim, such as “I always cook dinner,” even if you actually cook three times a week. They might claim to clean the house, when in fact you divide cleaning chores evenly. There are any number of ways they can guilt-trip guys into folding in an argument, and they use them according to need.

Deeming All Things Technical to be Unimportant

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Possibly one of the most irksome behaviors exhibited by women today, especially once they’re comfortable with their relationships, is utter disregard for the technical aspect of a thing. When a man sees a sports car, he likely recognizes it for the engine, suspension, equipment and any number of other things aside from the obvious fact that it looks good. Women will look at it and say “oooh it’s cute!” They want the newest smartphone not for its hardware or software, but because it looks new. They don’t care how something works, they just expect it to work. This behavior is largely responsible for the amount of times women will drive a car absolutely devoid of oil for two weeks while they wonder why on earth the warning light is on.

(Special thanks to inthefade.tumblr.com for lending us the cool converse pics)