PETA Fails To Kill Lobsters Humanely
God, I love PETA. They’re preachy in the worst way, do exactly what they warn not to do, and when new technology fails them, they’ll never fail to compromise their values. Case in point? They were demonstrating a humane way of killing a lobster, when things went wrong, and they had to boil hundreds of them. [...]
Music-Playing Pants Will Make You Exercise Until You Like It
You know you work out in the gym, with the crazy techno music and the stair-climbers and you need motivation, other than succumbing to a lifetime of obesity, diabetes, and dirty looks. Now you can have that motivation. With music playing pants. [...]
Need To Be Told You’re Ugly? There’s An App For That.
If there’s one thing society is entirely too focused on, it’s looks. How focused are we on looks? Most of the models who are on America’s Next Top Model are actually too old to be professional models. Frightening, no? Also, there’s an iPhone App to tell you how ugly. [...]
You Heard Me. Bacon Flavored Envelopes.
What’s that? I didn’t say anything? Oh, I just asked the universe what would be the most useless yet awesome invention to grace the earth this year. And it answered. And it answered well. It answered with bacon flavored envelopes.
MK 2 Circuit Watch Is All Kinds of Sexy
Hey, there, kid. You want to buy some watches? I got Rolexes, Swatches, this Swiss shiz, and what’s this? This kinda looks like a robot.I think I’ll put it on my hand. That’s what the watch salesman says before the watch on his hand takes over his brain and tells him to kill people and eat frozen yogurt. Because the watch he was wearing was an MK 2. [...]
GPS: Put It In Your Lady’s Lingerie
That sure as hell sounds like a band name and first single, doesn’t it? GPS, “Put It In Your Lady’s Lingerie” featuring Lil’ Boosie. But it’s not. It’s an actual invention. An actual reality you’ll have to deal with. And an actual nightmare I had once, involving the neighbors and a giant moth. [...]
Final Fantasy Gets Release Date
Oh, good lord nerds. Hold on to your Chocobos. Get your wizard staffs out, and iron out your red mage robes. Squaresoft has an announcement to make. [...]
Manolith iPhone App Released!
We are excited to announce our much anticipated Manolith iPhone app has finally hit the App Store! You can now get the full mobile experience of Manolith.com for FREE! If you’re looking for a fast-paced, sleek looking app to complement weird eye-popping videos and pictures, this is definitely for you.
In The Future, Tattoos Go Inside You
Yes, that’s right. In the future, you won’t be able to get tattoos drunk on the outside of your body. In the future, you’ll put them where you put everything else when you’re drunk: inside of you. [...]
Do You Want A Light-Up Bed?
Of course you do. You’re never getting laid, and are trapped in the ’80s. You want everything to be light-up and weird-looking under the vague pretense of being “artistic”. Like Lady Gaga. But with beds. [...]
