A few years back, an entrepreneurial dude named Chad Hardy had a great idea, he would make a calendar featuring sexy Mormons to, you know, let the world know that such things existed. His first project was “Men on a Mission,” a calender chock-full of sexy young Mormon men. This calendar was a huge success for Hardy, and women the world over loved the idea, however, unfortunately, the Mormon Church was not as excited. In fact, in response they excommunicated Mr. Hardy. Harsh.

Win a Mormon Muffin T Shirt!

Not one to give up though — as I said, quite the entrepreneur — Hardy has decided to double down on his effort, this time around with a calendar featuring sexy Mormon women, which he has titled “Hot Mormon Muffins.” And to make the double entendre all the more fun, he included 12 delicious muffin recipes to go along with all 12 delicious uhh, muffins women. Anyway, some of the photos from this new calendar leaked last week (as mentioned above) and you can check them out here, as for the new ones, check below!

In case you’re not yet up-to-date on last week’s big R&B news event, TLC member T-Boz revealed in an interview on The Mo’Nique Show that she and the girls were not only sexy & cool (givens), but that they were downright crazy too. Here’s the story.

It’s 1995, TLC’s second album CrazySexyCool has been nominated for a Grammy (which they won) and the girls have just found out that the album has made their label, Arista Records, quite a bit of money. Like piles and piles of money. Piles to the tune of $75 million kind of money. This was surprising. Not because the album wasn’t great or didn’t deserve it (it was and it did), but because each of the three members of TLC — T-Boz, Chilli & Left-Eye — had only received $50,000 a piece for their contributions.

Now I’m no math major, but if you take what the label made, divide it by what the girls made ($150,000 total), carry the two, and … uh yeah, they got fucked. Like 500 to 1 style. Yeah.

But what do you do. Music 101 folks, record labels are horrible money-suckers, never to be trusted. So it goes, right? Well, not if you’re TLC. Left-Eye decided this was unacceptable and they should do something about it. So they loaded up on guns & ammunition, charged into Arista headquarters, hunted down label-head Clive Davis, and held him hostage, at gun point, and demanded their money. No joke. They even had a limo driver to getaway in.

And it probably would have worked too, except that in pointing their guns at the head of Arista, they had also inadvertently broken up a meeting between Davis and Puff Daddy (as he then called himself). And Puffy, being Puffy, not liking the idea of anyone getting between him and his business, called the cops. As T-Boz eloquently put it, Puffy “snitched.”

Fortunately for TLC, Davis decided not to press charges — likely cause he didn’t want the bad publicity — and the girls went home empty-handed. So yeah, the record company still won out.

But still, pretty bad-ass, right? Great album too.

That paragraph above? That was the news of the day. Which probably was the biggest central news focus since MJ died. America, you are where we all live. But the story gets better. Not only is this not the first foray into unneeded television exposure for the Heene family — they were also featured on ABC’s reality TV series Wife Swap — but the family has also used their young children as props against the “pussification” of America. No, for real. Check out this YouTube video the family made (note: not family friendly).

But to be serious for half a moment, this kind of stuff does get me a little mad. It’s one thing to harp on the over-parentification of those who won’t let their kids do anything for fear they’ll scratch their knee. But having your little kids singing about “pussification” and rapping “fagg-t” like it’s no big deal? At age six? Just, ughh…

Story #1: Rush Limbaugh loses his bid for the St. Louis Rams

In case you haven’t heard, conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh had recently announced a bid for partial ownership of the St. Louis Rams. Naturally, this caused a bit of concern amongst NFL players, coaches and team owners alike, as Limbaugh has had a rich history of denigrating black athletes, football players included, often comparing them to gangsters (here, here & here) and so on. Not to mention his gibe at quarterback Donovan McNabb that first got Limbaugh fired from ESPN.

Furthermore, he regularly refers to prominent biracial blacks as “Halfrican Americans” and continually refers to President Barack Obama’s economic plans as disguised reparations (because, Heaven forbid, our economic policy actually helps the poor). And so for the above reasons, as well as black coaches and players stating they would not play for Limbaugh, his bid was turned down. Shocking.

So far, though, this is all from one Republican (albeit a powerful one), a bad apple you might say? Well, in comes the troops. Republican pundits have stormed in defending Limbaugh and lambasting the “liberal media” as unfair and ruthless. Again, and again, they defend him, saying he was ousted for “political reasons.” Which is just ridiculous on it’s face. Plenty of NFL owners are Republicans, and, in fact, so are a lot its players. The league is far from a liberal bastion.

So unless these pundits are suggesting Limbaugh’s racist remarks (“Call it the TBA, the Thug Basketball Association … They’re going in to watch the Crips and the Bloods” – referring to the NBA) are somehow a part of the GOP platform — I really hope that’s not what they’re suggesting — then this whole “liberal drive-by media blitz” story is just a big joke.

It also further alienates minority voters sympathetic to conservative ideas and ideals.

Story #2: House Republicans accuse Muslim advocacy group to be secret spies and terrorists

Last night four House Republicans, and members of the Congressional Anti-Terrorism Caucus, held a news conference in order to call on the House sergeant of arms to investigate the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR) for what they thought were “terrorist activities.” What were those activities? Trying to advocate for Muslim government employees, i.e. what just about every other political advocacy group does. Apparently the four Republican lawmakers had found a strategy memo which stated the group had wanted to push for more Muslims as government interns. You know, so they can be better represented as American citizens.

And how, you may ask, did these lawmakers find this evidence? Well, an author posing as a Muslim, secretly infiltrated CAIR (a secret Muslim!) by working for them as, get this, an intern! Oh, the irony! Now the real damage of a story like this though is that it, yet again, alienates Muslim citizens. Once again, they see that they’re nothing more than second-class citizens (and most likely terrorists!), which only works to push them further away from American ideals. Further, it encourages actual terrorist narratives abroad that the US hates all Muslims. I mean, it’s plain and simple: bad policy all around. And it’s embarrassing. For all Americans.

Now, I am a dyed-in-blue liberal, but even I can admit some conservative ideas are good ideas. For example, being fiscally responsible, encouraging hard work, shootin’ gunz, and so on. And you know what, sometimes the government is inefficient, too big and quite wasteful. But come on dudes, enough is enough. Stunts like the above are beyond the pale, and it’s winning your party zero points. It’s time to stop.

A little setup: The event is TD Bank’s annual Mini 1-on-1 in Boston. Basically, a shootout, composed of the best of the best, for kids. Now, check this out:

Did you see that? I’m no hockey technician, but kid just put on a clinic on being super-awesome. Basically, if my slow-mo rendering is correct, it looks as though young Oliver picks up the puck with the back of his stick, spins, and backhands a wicked-shot-double-axle-laser straight into the net. Video games? The Mighty Ducks? Kristi Yamaguchi? My childhood? Nothing on this kid.

The Newlywed Game is an old show with seemingly old values. While somewhat controversial when it debuted in 1967, it’s euphanistic catchphrase “making whoopee” just isn’t doing it, for anyone, anymore. Fortunately, that, and other things, appear to be changing. That is, later tonight the game show will feature, for the first time, a gay, newlywed, couple: actor George Takei (Mr. Sulu on Star Trek) and his husband Brad Altman. As Takei explained, they’re “boldly going where no other same-sex couple has gone before.”

While married just over a year ago, the show’s first gay couple does, however, hold one key advantage: they’ve already been together over twenty years. That is, of course, due to gay marriage being illegal throughout the United States until, for a couple states at least, a few short years ago. After all, Takei and Altman were married in California during the short window between when the state Supreme Court had ruled gay marriage legal, and when the ballot measure Prop. 8 overturned that ruling and made it, once again, illegal.

What makes this story especially interesting, though, is that this historic episode is happening under the watch of eHarmony.com, the show’s biggest sponsor. Interesting because eHarmony, an online dating website, has received a lot of criticism over the years for not accepting gay profiles. Maybe that’s all about to change?

Takei on why he accepted the show’s offer: “Proposition 8 was passed in California, and there’s a whole group of people who cannot enjoy what we’re enjoying. And to get on The Newlywed Game hopefully will demonstrate to many of those decent, fair-minded people out there, that our wedding is not unlike all the others.”

The show is on tonight at 6:00 p.m. on The Game Show Network.

Late last night, viral rap star Soulja Boy was arrested in Henry County, Georgia for charges of obstruction. According to reports, the popular rapper had been shooting a music video at an abandoned house in the area without permission. When police arrived, having been alerted by noise complaints, around half of the group — numbering around 40 in total — fled the scene on foot, Soulja Boy among them.

However, for one reason or another, the 19-year-old returned to the scene only to be arrested for obstruction, a misdemeanor charge. Officers took him to a local jail where he was booked, and immediately released. Nothing more than a slap on the wrist. That said, the police report does reveal the rappers name: DeAndre Cortez Way. So there you have it. Also, not a bad mugshot either, wouldn’t you say?

So Chuck Norris is in the news again. Or, to be more exact, Chuck Norris jokes are in the news again. You know, those fun and exciting jokes that talk about how badass Chuck Norris is and that never get old? Yep, those ones. Hurray. The reason this time? Well, if you type in “Google Chuck Norris” into Google, then click the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button, a page shows up that says: “Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.” Haha, get it?

Now, lame joke aside, a lot of people are assuming this is just Google being Google (i.e. having some fun). But it’s not! It’s some dude (or woman), who’s having a little fun. So how did they do it? Well, it’s a three part process:

Step 1: They created a website, www.nochucknorris.com, and made it look exactly like a page from Google Search. See above.
Step 2: They then managed to get the page to #1 on Google for the search term: “Google Chuck Norris”
Step 3: Publicize!

The jokesters sent out a bunch of press releases, telling everyone to do a Google Search for “Google Chuck Norris”, but instead of doing a normal search (which makes the “joke” not work), they have you click the “I’m Feeling Lucky Button.” Now, most people don’t know what this button is or what it does. Or if they do know what it does, they typically don’t use it. Because it’s typically not too helpful. So what does it do? It sends you to the website of the #1 result for any particular search term.

And since www.nochucknorris.com is the #1 result for “Google Chuck Norris” it sends you there, to a fake Google search results page, plus a funny joke!

As of now, sources are pointing toward Serena Williams to make the cover, but others have reported either Sarah Reinersten or Gina Carano as well. Leaked magazine covers are below.

Serena Williams

Sarah Reinersten


Gina Carano

Which cover do you think looks the best?

Now here’s a video I keep bumping into, again and again, in the world-o-funny-internet-videos. Premise is fairly straightforward: promo video for a Christian Women’s Retreat. Not so straightforward? The message.

Essentially the retreat teaches Christian girls how to lure men to Jesus, not through the Gospel, but through their good looks and lady-like charm. You know, the whole flirt-to-convert idea. The end game being, they save the guy, dump him, then move on. I think. The question for me, though, is the video’s authenticity. Is it real? Is it fake? Maybe somewhere in between? Who knows really. But in the end, I don’t think it really matters either: it’s funny!

What do you think?

After inexplicably stepping down as the Governor of Alaska three months ago, many were quick to ask, “Why Sarah Palin? Why are you stepping down for no reason?” We had our hypotheses, of course. Too busy reading each and every magazine and newspaper day-in and day-out, possibly mounting up for this winter’s big “snowmachine” tournament, or simply that she was bat-shit insane. But ponder no longer folks, we have an answer: She’s been writing a book! Or, to be more exact, a 400-page memoir titled, “Going Rogue: An American Life”

Don’t believe me? Well, okay, technically she had a “collaborator” helping her “write” it — Lynn Vincent an editor for the evangelical magazine World — but, pish-posh, who writes their own memoirs anyway? Besides, the point is the book is coming out, and soon! Originally slated for the Spring of 2010, the publication date has now been pushed up to November 17 as the book was completed early – likely due to Lynn Vincent’s Sarah Palin’s quick finish and strong work ethic I’m sure.

While, for now, Palin has remained tight-lipped on the book’s juicy details, she does let us know that it will cover her days in beauty pageants, hunting in Alaska, the 2008 election as well as Bristol’s pregnancy. Fun for the whole family.

Now. Still wondering why Sarah Palin would step down as Governor in exchange for a multi-million dollar book deal? Probably because she wants to tell her story, and encourage a nation. How nice of her.

The internet is pretty great. Cool thing is, it’s getting much, much better each and every day. Case in point: iNudge. This new website/web-tool is basically a customizable beat maker, which in-of-itself is nothing too new or exciting, however, its ease of use and ability to pass on is. Here’s how it works.

Setup with an intuitive and simple interface, users are given eight separate and color coded Sound Patterns from which to build loops from, ranging from the typical (Drums, Organ, Rhode Bass & Harp) to the less-than typical (Frogster, Avatar, Saturn & ToneMatrix). To do this, simply select squares from each Sound Pattern’s 16×16 grid and you’ll quickly find a short and simple beat. Which is cool. But furthermore, you can customize each Sound Pattern’s BPM (speed) and volume. This extra customization allows you to have plodding organ riffs set against pummeling bass notes, or visa-versa. Really anything you’d like.

Then, once you have a beat you’re happy with you can share it. Whether you’d like to embed it, link it or pass it on through Twitter, iNudge makes it easy to do so. For example, this beat I made in two minutes: now shareable.

Link to your own work in the comments. Maybe we can get a party going.

The upcoming Kanye West and Lady Gaga tour, Fame Kills, looks to be getting weirder and weirder by the day. First there was the stage, an all gold geometric nightmare, then the VMAs (need I mention?) and now: the NSFW promo video.

Released earlier today via Kanye’s blog, in an all-caps post titled: “WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE ROCK STARS? THE FAME KILLED THEM”, is a new promotional video for the Fame Kills tour. Which in-of-itself is a little weird. But then there’s the actual content of the video.

In it is what appears to be Lady Gaga, or a convincing body double, nude, lying down and with her hand over her breast. Scan right and you’ll then see a black hand (Kanye?) underneath her back and pulling on her. After awhile the shot ends as an autotuned voice (sounding like Kanye) says “Fame Kills.” And that’s that. A one-shot 31-second video of weird BSDM-type shit. Oh yeah, and then there’s the eerie backing track, composed of distant-sounding train horns and noises. Pretty weird.

I don’t know guys, I’m starting to think this tour will be worth making it to after all.

Fame Kills from kwest on Vimeo.

The Dalai Lama arrived in Memphis, Tennessee yesterday to receive the Freedom Award from the National Civil Rights Museum. The $50,000 award was presented to the exiled Tibetan leader for his promotion of human rights and nonviolent protest throughout the world. Shortly after accepting, though, the Dalai Lama then donated the entire amount back to the museum. Nice guy.

However, the big news story to come out of the event – because who cares about the promotion of peace and human rights, right? – came when Memphis Mayor Pro Tem Lowery met the Tibetan leader, and instead of greeting him with a handshake, instead used a terrorist-fist-jab, err, fist-bump to say hi. Woah! Scandalous stuff! But for some reason the Dalai Lama responded with amusement and then practiced the greeting a few more times – close call!

All right, so lets see if I have this straight: the fist-bump is now an accepted form of greeting by frat-boys, Presidents, the Dalai Lama, athletes and anyone under the age of 30, and yet conservative pundits are still trying to label it as a secret-terrorist-handshake? Only in America folks.

(photo courtesy of KLJB.com)

Now, there’s a few interesting tidbits about this particular interview. To start, as I was surprised to learn, this will be the first appearance ever of a sitting President on the Late Show. Which just goes to show the lengths at which the President is currently going to, to see his big domestic policy initiative (Health Care) make its way through Congress. After all, just yesterday Obama appeared on five separate Sunday morning talk shows to talk health care, not to mention his health care address to the nation before both Houses earlier this month. All of which spells out rather succinctly: Obama wants to pass health care. (To which I say: great!)

However, health care reform wasn’t the only topic discussed during the 40-minute interview. Obama also talked about the economy, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan as well as his family life. Oh and race too. After Letterman brought up former President Carter’s recent comment – to paraphrase: that current opposition to Obama’s health care plans are based in race – Obama replied, deadpan and without missing a beat, “It’s important to realize that I was actually black before the election.” To which Letterman responded, “How long have you been a black man?”

Funny stuff. Anyway, here’s the Top 10 for the night:

Top Ten Reasons Why President Obama Agreed To Appear On The Show

10. Heard the lady with the heart-shaped potato was gonna be here.

9. Thought it would be fun to watch someone else get heckled.

8. Something to do with that whole cash for clunkers deal.

7. Every president since Teddy Roosevelt has done it.

6. Someone offers you 600 bucks you take it ladies and gentlemen.

5. We told him Megan Fox would be here.

4. Needed some time to hang out before check in time at his hotel.

3. I have no idea.

2. Said yes, without thinking, like Bush did with Iraq.

1. Wanted to congratulate Dave on the big Emmy win.

(Note: Letterman lost the Emmy to John Stewart of the Daily Show. Wah-Wah.)

Herschel Walker marks yet another entry into the misguided pro-athlete-decides-he-can-fight-in-the-octagon career move, as he has just signed with Strikeforce, a popular Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) organization. The former NFL running back (and Heisman Trophy winner), having played for the Cowboys, Vikings, Eagles and Giants, finalized the deal over the weekend and is expected to spend the next 8 to 12 weeks training at the American Kickboxing Academy in San Jose, California in preparation. While no events have been planned yet, he is expected to make his debut sometime in 2010.

Speaking on the matter Mike Afrowitz, Strikeforce’s director of communications, had this to say: “This isn’t a publicity stunt or a gimmick. Herschel walker has tremendous athleticism, and he has always shown that off the gridiron. He’s accomplished a lot in his life and in the world of sports. His accomplishments speak for themselves, and we hope that his athleticism can transition into a successful MMA career.”

Herschel is optimistic too, adding: “I will go in there and test myself against any 20 year old. I know there will be naysayers and I’m fine with that. I want to prove to people who sit on a couch and don’t do anything but criticize other people that, if you’re a true athlete or martial artist, you’re not old until you can’t get up and walk around anymore. MMA fighters are said to be some of the best athletes in the world, my plan at the age of 47 is to show the world I am still one of the best athletes as well.”

So what do we think about all of this? Well, to start, Herschel Walker is incredibly talented, is in great shape and has already proven himself in other sports more than once – including a seventh place finish in the two-man bobsled event at the 1992 Winter Olympics. He’s also a 6th degree black belt in taekwondo and apparently has been practicing for quite some time.

That said, dude is far from his prime (see photo above), he’s now 47 and he will be fighting in the heavyweight division. That means other he’ll be fighting dudes half his age and weighing in at over 205 pounds. And not just any dudes either, rather they’ll be super-talented, tough and athletic dudes who’ve been training day-in and day-out for years. Sorry Herschel, your taekwondo’s just not gonna cut it. You’re going to get beat, and bad.

Seriously though, has any “celebrity” athlete turned MMA fighter actually had a successful career? After all, there’s a reason Strikeforce’s publicity team is leading out with, “this is not a stunt! or a gimmick!” What’s that old Shakespeare line? “Mike Afrowitz dost protest too much?” Sounds about right.

Late Saturday night indie-darling Zooey Deschanel officially tied the knot with indie-stalwart Ben Gibbard, making for what is sure to be deemed the indie wedding of the year. Huzzah! Indie! According to a source from People Magazine, the wedding took place near Gibbard’s home in Seattle, Washington. First engaged earlier this year (December), the happy couple had at that point already been dating for over a year.

For those unfamiliar with the work of these two (think: indie + quirky), Ben Gibbard, 33, is the lead man in Death Cab for Cutie, whose last album went #1 on the Billboard charts (how indie!) as well as the bleep-blop-college-band-of-choice the Postal Service. As to the 29-year-old Zooey Deschanel, outside of being a certified (and adorable) Chickolith, she’s an actress and sometime musician (She & Him) who most recently appeared as the female lead in 500 Days of Summer. She has also appeared in Elf as well as numerous other indie flicks.

In the annals of dumb thieves doing dumb things, this dude may as well be king. Or close to. Here’s the story.

19-year-old Jonathan Parker appeared in court earlier this week for felony-level charges of robbery, after, allegedly, stealing two diamond rings from a neighbor in his home state of Pennsylvania. So far, not exactly an uncommon account: kid wants some money, likely can’t find a job, so he decides to steal. Unfortunate, but it happens. Now, according to reports, Parker was not caught mid-robbery and so far the diamond rings have not been found, yet the case seems to be closed already. Why you ask? What CSI-level work did the police pull out?

Well, apparently after successfully picking up both diamond rings, Jonathan Parker then decided to check his Facebook account, you know see what was going on. A new message from the girl he likes, perhaps? Anyway, time was of the essence, I guess, so he checked it at the house. It was midday, owners away at their jobs, why not? We’ll call this mistake number one. Now for mistake number two, Parker then leaves, but forgets to log out of his account! Oops.

Yeah, now we’re getting somewhere. But that’s not all. After police picked him up as the lead suspect (I wonder why?), they started asking around too. And Parker’s “friend” let them know that Parker had asked him the night before the robbery if he had wanted to help out. Yep. His “friend.” Mistake number three. Looks like Jonathan Parker is now, officially, out.

Bail is set at $10,000 and if convicted – a big if indeed – he’ll face up to 10 years prison time. But hey! Maybe there’s Facebook in prison now? Might not be so bad after all.

Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina was officially “admonished” today after a vote in the House. The vote, which was in regards to his “you lie!” outburst during President Barack Obama’s health care address to the nation last week, was predominately split down party lines, 240-179, with the exception of twelve Democrats voting “no” and seven Republicans voting “yes.” Lawmakers voting for the “admonishment” claim Wilson had breached a line of decorum whereas those voting against it thought the vote to be a political stunt.

But, do tell, what is an admonishment you ask? Well here’s the official word:

“Whereas the conduct of the Representative from South Carolina was a breach of decorum and degraded the proceedings of the joint session, to the discredit of the House: Now, therefore, be it Resolved, that the House of Representatives disapproves of the behavior of the Representative from South Carolina Mr. Wilson, during the joint session of Congress held on September 9, 2009.”

Well, there you have it. They “disapprove” of his actions. Looks like the Democrats really handed him the book this time. From what I hear, they may even call his mother – the horror! But to bring this a little closer to reality, there are typically three levels of punishment a member of the House of Representatives may received: a reprimand, censure or expulsion. In this case, Rep. Joe Wilson received neither of the three, but rather an “admonishment” which is even less severe than a reprimand.

What’s especially silly about this whole endeavor, though, is that the South Carolina Representative had previously apologized and the incident almost had been forgotten. Forgotten, that is, until he decided to recant his apology after discovering that, “Hey, I’m really popular all of a sudden.” I mean, who cares that his opponent raised record numbers the day after, or that those who now champion him also believe that our President wasn’t born in the United States and is, more than likely, a socialist-fascist-marxist-messiah-racist-terrorist-and-any-other-scary-’other’-type-thing-there-is-boogie-man? Apparently not Rep. Joe Wilson.

Which makes sense I guess. Joe the Plumber just wasn’t really working out anymore, and who knows, maybe Joe “YOU LIE!!” Wilson thought he could do just a little better. All that said, this whole admonished business is pretty silly, on both sides of the aisle. His outburst was rude and disrespectful (not to mention false), sure, but there’s no reason to waste a House vote admonishing him either. I mean, really. What end does this serve? (Other than perpetuating this story further, that is.)

Last night, during the second quarter of the Steelers vs. Titans season opener, Troy Polamalu, the crazy-haired safety for the Steelers, suffered a game-ending knee injury after catching an incredible one-armed interception (see below). Preliminary reports suggest Polamalu will likely miss between three to six weeks as he sprained his MCL during the play. Which is unfortunate, both for Polamalu and the Steelers.

What is interesting about the injury, though, is that it marks yet another instance of the so-called Madden Jinx (also known as the Madden Curse). That is, the strange coincidence of players who make the cover of Madden’s annual video game, Madden NFL, soon after going down for the count.

Starting in 2002 with Daunte Culpepper, the “jinx” has taken out players such as Marshall Faulk, Ray Lewis, Shaun Alexander, Vince Young and Michael Vick with broken legs, missed games and all-around poor performances. And while many fans dismiss the Madden Jinx as superstition, you can’t fault them either for getting nervous when their player makes the cover.

Especially interesting this year is that Polamalu shared the cover (a first in the game’s history) with the Arizona Cardinals wide-receiver, Larry Fitzgerald. Now, I’m not too superstitious myself, but, uh, it might be time to make some changes in your Fantasy lineup. Just saying.

New images from the Hubble Space Telescope have been released today, and, oh fuck yeah, they’re super awesome. Taken from a recent service mission to the orbiting telescope, the new photos show cool shit like colliding galaxies, dying stars and even a floating Alf in space (check below, it’s true man!). This last mission, which took place in May, marks the fifth and final mission to the Hubble Telescope and should provide the ’scope with just enough life to work until 2014, at which point a new telescope-space-station-hybrid will take it’s place. That is, the James Webb Space Telescope, or JWST for short.

Sure, it’s not as catchy as the Hubble (hard to beat, really), but it’s expected to be bigger, better and simply all-around more badass. Which, hey, cool with me. Check out the photos below, they’re worth your time. And then check out more at the NASA website.

All photos courtesy of NASA (natch)

Michael Duvall considers himself to be a family man, two kids, a wife, you know, the whole works. He’s also an elected politician from Orange County, a values-led conservative and is against gay marriage. How nice, right? Oh yeah, and he’s been caught cheating on his wife, twice. According to reports from the OC Weekly and KCAL, the Yorba Linda Assemblyman was caught last June boasting to a fellow legislator about his extra-marital sexual conquests. Pretty graphically too.

The conversation, which took place prior to a committee meeting in Sacramento, was picked up by a live microphone, and thus taped. In it, Duvall divulged that one, of the two mistresses, wore “little eye-patch underwear” and then said, “I like spanking her. She goes, ‘I know you like spanking me.’ I replied, ‘Yeah! Because you’re such a bad girl!’” And that’s not even the worst of it.

Later the Assemblyman told a short sex story (note: it gets pretty gross here), “So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday – a lot! And so she’ll, she’s all, ‘I am going up and down the stairs, and you’re dripping out of me!’ So messy!”

So messy … well put, I suppose. After all, not only are the two women he slept with married themselves, they are both also lobbyists. And to top it all off, one of them, Heidi DeJonb Barsuglia, is a lobbyist for the energy company, Sempra Energy. Which since Duvall is the vice-chair of the Utilities and Commerce committee (a committee in charge of energy policy), is a big deal. Especially as he recently voted to help energy companies, like Sempra, avoid environmental regulations.

Audio and video below:

Per request, 90-year-old Lonnie Holloway was buried on Tuesday in the front seat of his 1973 Pontiac Catalina. The unusual service, which took place at Rock Hill Baptist Church in Saluda, South Carolina, also included Holloway’s hunting guns, placed in the trunk, and some extra cash – a $100 dollar bill placed in his pocket. Apparently this was the final wish of Holloway, who had died a week earlier on September 3.

Apparently Lonnie Holloway was known around town as the kind of guy to be “stylin’ and profilin’”, or at least according to his cousin Leila Dunn. Another cousin, Johnny McCloud, said, “He was a unique individual. He said when he died, he didn’t want to leave his guns here because somebody might take them and shoot somebody, so he took them with him.”

The pastor at the service had this to say: “This day will be burned in our memories for years and years to come because ‘us’ ain’t never seen nothing like this before.” The hundreds in attendance responded, “Amen.”

After Lonnie and his ‘73 Catalina had been buried, a concrete slab was put atop the grave site to keep looters away from the guns or the car.

As to the remaining students, the school is now on lockdown and school officials have advised students through an emergency text message to “take shelter.” The full message is as follows: “We have had a shooting on campus and are now in lockdown. Please shelter in place, away from windows, with doors shut until further notice. We are sending an emergency text message to all students.”

Police are now systematically searching the school’s campus, including classrooms, parking lots, and cars in pursuit of the four suspects.

Jason David Frank. Dude’s done a lot. Not only was he once the de facto leader of the Power Rangers, but he also dated the Pink Ranger (Amy Jo Johnson! Yeah!) turned from Green to White and even defeated the evil Lord Zedd. And all gracefully too. A couple high-flying kicks, the use of Dragonzord from time to time, you know, the usual. So what’s next for Tommy, uh, Jason David Frank? Well, he’s about to bring his skills and accomplishments to the octagon. Yep, the Green Ranger has joined the world of Mixed Martial Arts (i.e. the MMA).

Now 35, the actor-turned-fighter (6th degree black belt) has spent some time training with UFC lightweight fighter Melvin Guillard and more recently he just signed on with Suckerpunch Entertainment. But is he ready, can he actually fight? Responding in a recent interview, Jason said, “I was supposed to fight in 2007, but it fell through. In truth, I’ve wanted to put the work in until I’m ready.” And he knows the challenges too, later saying, “I know I have a target on my back. Everyone is going to want to beat up the Green Ranger. But I am no Kimbo; I’ve been training for a very long time. I wanted to get in there before, but I got injured. But I’ll be ready when the time comes.”

All right, now I’ll be honest for a moment: MMA is not really my thing. I’ve watched a few fights here and there, but I’m far from knowledgeable. So, take this with a grain of salt, but Jason does kinda-sorta seem to talk a good game. With regard to his fighting style:

“My style was missing the ground fighting. I have my blue belt in BJJ from Gracie Baja now, but we needed to have that ground game integrated into Tose Kune Do. There was a blank there. So we added wrestling, BJJ, etc., to it. Melvin Guillard has really helped add the wrestling. I needed to get with someone who could put it all together for me, and that was Saul Soliz. And he’s done it. He’s a good, hardcore trainer.”

So, what do you think? Does he have a chance? Will the Green Ranger reign supreme? Or is he going down like Canseco?