Infographic by InfoShot

Reality TV is extremely hit or miss. Being able to sit through the broadcast of any of these train wrecks  requires would-be viewers to understand these shows are invariably trashy - but it is precisely the trashiness of it that makes it fun to to watch. Heated rivalries develop between strangers, and secret alliances that form and crumble before our eyes. Ultimately, these shows are entertaining because the fame-whores we are watching will do anything for fortune and celebrity. However entertaining this trend may be, there have been examples that were either too brutality difficult to watch, or just plain awful, and subsequently were canceled. Below are thirteen of the worst examples that some how made it into production, and for which we as  a society ought be embarrassed for having watched – even if it was just for a few weeks:

Tommy Lee Goes to College

(source)

A common plot angle reality-land is to take a celebrity and feature him or her doing rather ordinary, unspectacular things. The hope of the producers is that the viewer might be able to relate on some level to the enviornment of the show, while at the same time waiting in suspense for the celebrity to make an otherwise bland situation wild and crazy. Often, this idea sounds alright on paper, yet falls flat on upon the obvious constraints of reality when put in front of the camera.”Tommy Lee Goes to College” was perhaps the best example of this. Ignoring that millions of people go to college every day and don’t get cameras shoved in their face, the network went ahead and dressed Tommy Lee up like a rock star trying to get straight and turned him loose on a college campus. Did chaos ensue? Did Lee soar around campus on a flying drum machine, spreading heavy metal music from the quad to the gymnasium? No. Rather, he simply tried to undertake ordinary college challenges like finding a roommate, joining a fraternity and studying chemistry. The show was made even more mind-numbing by the disclaimer at the end reminding viewers that Lee was not actually enrolled at the University of Nebraska and that certain situations were generated for comic effect.

Gene Simmons Family Jewels

(source)

“Family Jewels” was a reality show that centered around the now washed-up Gene Simmons and his family life. Where this went wrong was in assuming that people cared about what this old guy does at home. KISS’ whole gimmick involved outrageous costumes and strange make up which kept their “mortal” identities hidden for the better part of their career. All of this was done in order to cast a “larger than life,” or “rock god” image. There is nothing rock and roll about watching Gene Simmons talk to his wife about the house rules or partake in basic household upkeep. An article on TV.com described the show by saying: “See the softer side of this metal manic as he balances his rock star life with his role as a dad.” KISS used to stand for a movement in America that ran counter to traditional values, inspiring a new generation of kids to defy authority, spin records backwards listening for Satan, paint their faces with crazy designs and scream like mad in front of a stage that Gene Simmons would grace with a domineering and imposing presence. Then we were forced to watched him getting upset because the batteries in the remote control were dead, and he didn’t want to make a trip to CVS to get new ones.

The Apprentice: Martha Stewart

(source)

Here’s a great idea: Let’s have people study business from a woman who went to jail for corporate crime. Then we’ll air it! Perhaps the show was filmed before she was brought up on insider trading charges, you might be thinking. Wrong. The show was aired in 2005, mere months after her release from prison. In fact many of the episodes had to be shot from her house because she was still serving the 5 month house arrest part of her sentence (and still had a bleeping anklet) . “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart” did quite bad in the ratings, garnering a meager 7 Million viewers a week. Some wonder why the numbers ended up coming out so low, but ask yourself this: Would you want to learn to fly from a man who just crashed his plane into a field? Probably not, and it isn’t surprising that Stewart, an ex-white collar convict did not come off as a convincing business mentor.  At least The Donald looked cool when he had to fire people, Martha just waved her hand and said “goodbye.” It seems the viewers waved back.

Are You Hot?

(source)

Could there be a more vapid, insipid and prosaic theme for a show? “Are You Hot” set people before a panel of judges and were simply judged on the basis of physical appearance. Not for nothing, but anyone with Internet access has been able to participate in the exact same activity since early this decade on HotOrNot.com. At least shows like “America’s Got Talent” or “So You Think You Can Dance” are entertaining for the competition factor, and the fact that contestants posses actual, non-silicon skills. Are You Hot felt more like a boring activity that we have all played spanning the local mall in high school. Calling it “The search for America’s sexiest people” was just a better way of putting it.

Armed and Famous

(source)

“Armed and Famous” disappeared into obscurity after only one season. The basic idea behind the show was to train celebrities to become police officers in the Munice, Indiana Police Department. Upon graduation they were sent out on the job as an officer. During production, do you think anyone stopped to think that they shouldn’t be arming people like Jack Osbourne and Wee Man, and giving them the right to search homes and arrest citizens? Policemen are supposed to be upright citizens with a desire to uphold justice. Additionally, ex-wrestling babes and  ”Jackass” cast members aren’t exactly shining examples of keen judgment, and  the show ended with a lawsuit filed from a woman who’s house was illegally searched by one of these degenerates-cum-lawmen.

Breaking Bonaduce

(source)

“Breaking Bonaduce” was a terribly mean spirited reality show that meretriciously trotted former child star Danny Bonaduce’s ( “The Douche”) abominable personal life out in open. Danny’s life has been marked by substance abuse, helter-skelter romances, and who can forget his arrest for physically assaulting a transvestite. Bonaduce claims that he had a very emotionally abusive father creating a violent early home life. Couple that with the weird lifestyle led by child actors and you have recipe for disaster.  The show ended up being too painful to watch – we were watching a man attempt suicide, fall into a mire of drugs and relationship problems, and repeatedly air his deepest personal pains in therapy sessions. One television critic was quoted as saying, “…It’s hard to imagine a shower long enough to wash away the experience of simply viewing the show, much less having produced, programmed or participated in it.” The producers didn’t seem to mind, however. The tagline of this circus of depravity was “You have every right to slow down and watch,” clearly likening Danny’s life to a horrific car crash.

Celebrity Bull Riding

(source)

“Celebrity Bull Riding” was a show for only the most desperate of washed-up celebs. Bull riding is perhaps the most dangerous of all sports. Jumping on the back of an half-ton violent animal with horns who wants you dead is not for the inexperienced (and the number of injured or killed bull riders every year makes one wonder if it should even be for the experienced). Not to be deterred from getting their name back in the public eye, several celebrities who should have fired their managers met on bull rider Ty Murray’s ranch for ten days of training before an ultimate competition. Among the celebrity riders were has-been rapper/deplorable heavy metal singer Vanilla Ice. Lungs were punctured, ribs were broken, backs were seriously sprained, hands were stomped on, horrible falls were taken, and a few contestants had to quit less than five days in. The show featured only six episodes and has never had a repeat season.

Cold Turkey

(source)

Duped into believing they were embarking on a thrilling adventure, a group of addicted cigarette smokers were brought together and forced to quit smoking. The concept of “Cold Turkey ” was at once sadistic and pointless. The cruel concept induces nicotine withdrawal – an awful visceral experience forced upon unwilling contestants. The real angle of the show is seen sticking them all into a house together, exasperated, strung out and offended, to quarrel with each other for the viewing public. Let us not forget, a true cigarette smoker will not quit until they decide that they want to. It is likely that most contestants forced  picked up a pack less than a week after being released from the house, making the show little more than a boring and mindless indulgence in the suffering of others.

Growing Up Gotti

(source)

Did somebody say Jagerbombs? Growing up Gotti was a reality show that sent all the wrong messages. First, it taught a generation of 20-something year old males with any amount of Italian in their blood that it was attractive to walk around in gold chains, wife beaters and blown out haircuts espousing words like “stounad,” “skank,” and “douchebag.” Secondly, the show ignored the unquestionable fact that John Gotti was not “cool.” There is nothing respectable about violent organized crime and there was no good reason to idolize his family with a national television show. What was the intended message? If you kill a couple people, we’ll send you to jail, but if you kill 13 people, commit racketeering, obstruction of justice, conspiracy to commit murder, illegal gambling, extortion, tax evasion and loan-sharking, we’ll give you a TV show.

Paris Hilton’s My New BFF

(source)

The title of the show alone should have struck fear into the hearts of parents with sons or daughters competing. Paris Hilton’s BFF (standing for best friend forever) was a shallow and meaningless competition to befriend a snooty rich girl. The show never makes it totally clear, but being Paris’ friend is certainly not for the light-hearted. Though Paris has claimed to never have used drugs on Larry King, MTV.com points out that videos have turned up featuring Paris talking about smoking pot, buying quaaludes, sifting through piles of mushrooms and proudly declaring, “I have the best pot!” The airing of Paris Hilton’s “My New BFF” calls into question how many beauty obsessed, money crazy, material girls can you fit in front of one camera before your ears bleed out and your mind turns to mush. The airing of the second season of the show makes it all too clear that Paris never  hangs out with the winner of the show, which might be a good thing. Unless you’re into piling psychedelics into your system and riding your bike around Europe higher than a kite, it might be best not to be Paris Hilton’s new BFF.

Tool Academy

(source)

Tricked into thinking they are going to be competing for the title of “Mr. Awesome,” several thick-headed and self-absorbed men were given to VH1 in order to be transformed from arrogant, boorish pricks into respectable and decent men. To make matters worse, it was their girlfriends who, tired of the pompous and asinine ways in which they behaved, pulled off the elaborate con. The premise was that the girls tricked them into going on the show in hopes they might return as gentlemen who don’t kiss their muscles in the mirror every morning. In the end, the show was completely see-through, obviously acted, and barely enjoyable at that. If you want to see a bunch of self absorbed, greased up, cheap beer pounding womanizers slapping each other on the backs and wearing outrageous sunglasses and talking like they learned their vocabulary from bad mafia movies, just spend a couple days at the Jersey Shore. “Tool Academy” proved an utter waste of time, the fleeting joys of which only came when two bros would fight each other, and even then you had to stop and just what the hell wonder what you were doing with your night/life.

Sexual Healing

(source)

As another show taking advantage of the hilarious suffering of others, Sexual Healing aired live sexual therapy with distraught couples. Sexual therapy, in case you were wondering, is not sex itself, it is talking therapy about what specifically has not been working right in you and your partner’s sex life. The show capitalizes on whats known as the “train wreck effect.” This means the stories you see on the show are so terrible to watch that you cannot look away. Couples must, in one episode, undergo a week long therapy workshop which can get pretty racy, and also quite embarrassing. Anyone who believes that real therapy is being administered here is kidding themselves. Anyone watching soon understands that the show is a ruse, and that its only reason to exist is to play off the human tendency to find enjoyment in the embarrassing suffering of others.

Real Chance of Love

(source)

Perhaps the most painful snooze on reality programming, “Real Chance of Love” featured women competing to date obscure rappers nick-named Real and Chance. Brothers and singers of the rap duo “The Stallionares,” Real and Chance nickname their contestants early on so as to remember them by their traits. Some of the more memorable names have been “Corn Fed,” “Meatball” and “Bay Bay Bay.” Ultimately, the show consists of the weird-looking brothers trying to get to know the potential gold diggers better before selecting who they will allow to spend all their money for the rest of their lives. America had no idea who Real and Chance were until they had their own show, let’s be honest. And, the two aren’t even unique or interesting to watch as they catcall females, drop hints about their money and “swagger” and make sexual inuendos left and right while all the while whittling the list down. The show reminded one of “Flavor of Love”, except that Flavor Flav cranked out more laughs in one episode than these two clowns managed to do all season.

The human tendency to act in a way that is detrimental to health has always been a part of society. Whether wearing a cape jumping off the roof to test your flight abilities when you’re six, or dancing on a wire dozens of stories off the ground when you’re thirty, we manage to put ourselves in harms way for the sake of fame, fortune, self-discovery, or exploration. Regardless of motivation, people have and will continue to act in this way, and we can only hope the incidents are observed and recorded. Here are 19 of the most daring and extreme human feats ever completed.

The Skydive from Hell (or The Heavens)

(Source)

Joseph Kittinger is a man’s man. He served 3 tours in Vietnam, flew 483 missions, and spent 11 months in a North Vietnamese prison camp. He is most notably remembered for his incredible series of high altitude balloon jumps, the last of which still holds the world record today for highest balloon ascent, highest parachute jump, and fastest speed by a human being through the atmosphere (614 mph). He is the only human to have ever broken the sound barrier without use of any mechanical equipment. Later attempts to break his record for highest ascent in a balloon led to the death of the occupants. Oh, and he did all this before enduring rope torture in the Hanoi Hilton during the Vietnam war.

The World Trade Center Tightrope Dance

(Source)

Philipe Petit didn’t realize that going to the dentist in 1968 would change his life. But, after seeing an article about the construction of the new World Trade Center towers in New York City, Petit became obsessed. After spending six years planning and researching, Petit decided the time was right to string a 140 foot steel cable between the “Twin Towers” (1,368 feet of the ground mind you) and step off the ledge. He spent 45 minutes on the wire, crossing between the towers 8 times. The police were dispatched to arrest him as soon as they realized what was going on, but Petit continued to enjoy himself on his wire until the threat of a helicopter plucking him off the wire (and rain) helped him end his tightrope dance. He was taken into custody and the incident is still referred to as the “artistic crime of the century”.

The Land Speed Record

(Source)

Speed has been an obsession of many, few greater the Andy Green. He currently holds the land speed record at 766 mph. These trials are held typically held at salt flats because of their smooth surface, but even one pebble out of place could easily turn the speeding rocket into a speeding ball of flame.

The Air Speed Record

(Source)

4,534 mph. That’s just about the distance between London and Beijing, or between Seattle and Tokyo. And, it’s also the current airspeed record, set by Pete Knight. At that rate, you could fly from the earth to the moon in 52 hours. That’s less time than it took Apollo 11 to reach the moon, and without the benefit of space’s vacuum. Andy Green could have circled the world in less than 5 and a 1/2 hours at that rate.

Motorcycle Jump

(Source)

Robbie Maddison has lived his life on the edge, typically of a motorcycle seat. He continues to push the boundaries of what’s possible, most recently setting a new record for longest motorcycle jump with 346 feet. That may not seem like much, but think of this – Evil Knievel’s longest jump was 151 feet.

The “Human Jet”

(Source)

Yves Rossy decided one day to cross the English Channel. But, he didn’t want to span the 22 miles by swimming, driving, or running. He wanted to fly, which sounds completely normal. Unless you’re jumping out of a plane at 8,800 feet and praying the jet pack on your back ignites and carries you those 22 miles. Fortunately, Yves knows what he’s doing, and made the crossing in under 10 minutes, reaching a speed of 125 mph.

The Constant Swimmer

(Source)

Some people worry constantly, others garden. Martin Strel swims. He swam for 84 hours and 10 minutes straight up the Danube river without a break. Just to secure his place in the swimming hall of fame, he also swam the Mississippi River (although not constantly), covering the 2,360 miles in 68 days. Michael Phelps may hold more gold records, but he doesn’t have to worry about leeches in his pool.

The Everest Summit (Sans Oxygen)

(Source)

When Sir Edmond Hillary first summited Mt. Everest in 1953, he was praised by the Queen, earned international accord, and became a hero to many. Less well-known is the ascent that followed in 1978 by Reinhold Messner where he completed the climb – solo for the last 3 days – without any supplemental oxygen. With air one third the density as at sea level, breathing is near impossible at 29,000 feet. Combine that with the fact that Messner climbed almost 8,000 vertical feet alone, and you have a man that was a thrill seeker without compare.

The Largest/Longest/Craziest BASE jump

(Source)

At a height of 21,666 feet, Glenn Singleman and Heather Swan took the leap – off of Meru Peak and into the record books. They free fell for over two minutes and landed on a glacier, breaking all previous held records for base jumping height and distance. What makes this jump so crazy? That they had to mountaineer their way up the almost 22,000 foot mountain (a formidable task for any expeirenced climber) before jumping.

Bungee Jumping

(Source)

Bungee jumping, like BASE jumping, is a sport of extremes. Extreme people, extreme danger, and extreme head rushes. The most dangerous and largest recorded bungee jump currently belongs to David Barlia, who bungeed out of a helicopter and fell for almost 6,000 feet. Thankfully the helicopter was hovering at 10,000 feet, so Dave successfully ended the experience with a adrenaline rush, a record, and a knack for the insane.

Chinese Water Torture

(Source)

It’s debatable that Harry Houdini is the greatest magician to ever live. He performed many feats of that fans still find dangerous and unbelievable today. One thing is certain though, he is one of the greatest daredevils to ever live. Many of his feats forced him into a serious and life threatening time constraint, whether he had to hold his breath underwater or be buried alive. Because of the danger involved, movies have depicted him drowning in his escape from the Chinese Water Torture routine, although this was not the case.

Buried Alive

(Source)

While Houdini did perform escapes while buried alive, he doesn’t hold a candle to Geoff Smith. Geoff spent 150 days buried 6 feet under, beating the European record of 101 days previously held by his mother. I guess claustrophobia (or lack thereof) runs in the family, because Geoff successfully stayed in a 7 foot “coffin” for 150 straight days.

Free Diving

(Source)

Patrick Musimu must have lungs of steel. Why? Because with only one breath of air he dove to a depth of 687 feet. That’s 298 pounds per square inch of pressure on his body, and about 20 atmosphere’s worth of pressure compressing his lungs and body. He currently holds the free diving record by over 120 feet.

The Ice Man

(Source)

If Patrick has lungs of steel, Wim Hof has insulated skin. Wim sat in a tub of ice, up to his neck, for 1 hour and 31 minutes. He holds nine ice related world records, and claims he can control his body temperature using the Tantric practice of Tummo. Wim also recently climbed to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, in his shorts, within 2 days. It took him only another 2 days to climb down. He also attempted (and failed) to climb Mt. Everest in nothing but shorts.

Niagara Falls by Barrel

(Source)

People have actually done that?! Yes, yes they have. I thought it was a joke -Not to Annie Taylor it wasn’t. In 1901 Annie Tayler was the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel and survive. She expected fame and fortune, but as it turned out, no one at the time really cared. Sadly, she ended up dying in poverty. Although she made the journey with little injury and few accolades, Annie will still go down as the first person to ride the barrel at Niagara.

The Ultimate Belly Flop

(Source)

Some people believe in putting their best foot forward, Darren Taylor puts his gut forward. And, with good reason when you’re plunging over 35 feet into just 1 foot of water. Darren’s special skill (if you want to call it that) of belly flopping into minimal water has earned him local and national exposure in Great Britain, as well as a very very red stomach.

Just Keep Swimming

(Source)

Nuno Gomes just loves SCUBA diving. In fact, he loves it so much that he does it for 12 hours at a time. And only 14 minutes of that is the descent. Nuno dove to a depth of 1,044 feet in the Red Sea, then took about 12 hours to ascend to the surface. I guess avoiding the bends is a necessity, but I hope he brought something to do for his slow rise to the surface.

Leap of Faith

(Source)

Stig Gunther is one heck of a stunt man. He’s been in almost 100 films doing dangerous and breath-taking stunts, but his most ambitious and most dangerous came in 1999 when he lept 343 feet onto an airbag below. Remember “The Blob” from “Heavyweights”? Imagine if this guy were launching you…

Pyro Boy

(Source)

This self proclaimed “human firework” makes a living lighting himself on fire for crowds. Wally Glenn, Pyro Boy himself, has made hundreds of appearances at festivals and fairs nationwide, promoting not only himself, but fire safety. Probably a good thing, the last thing he needs is children lighting themselves on fire in his name.

Summer is here and thanks to global warming it’s going to be a hot one. Some of you might have a great air conditioning system in your pad. You may even have one with fancy digital controls and the such. A lot of you however don’t, leaving you with nothing to fall back on other than a system of beer, fans and standing in from of the fridge.

However there is hope, with this simple guide you can build your own DIY AC. Oh Science, is there anything you CAN’T do?

Infographic by Infoshot

You Should Also Check Out:

In today’s modern world there are many things we take for granted, many things our fathers would have known how to do, and some others that might baffle them. Additionally, on average, Americans and European men are starting to get married older, meaning that there is now a need to be self-sufficient in things long-considered to be within the realm of the woman. Whether you’re out camping, or at home or work, there are some basic skills a man must possess. The following are fourteen examples of these skills – if you don’t know them, you should learn them, or you may be caught unaware sooner than you think. If you can think of others, please leave them in the comments below.

Drive a Stick-Shift

Source

It’s a sad thought that more men, every day, are coming of age with absolutely no experience driving a stick-shift. To really add insult to injury, there are more men running around who don’t know how to drive a car period, but they’re beyond help if they’re that far gone. Driving stick is not a difficult thing to learn, and you don’t need to own a manual-transmission vehicle to acquire the skill. Have a friend teach you, hell, rent a car if you have to, it only takes a couple of hours to get the hang of it. At some point, just about everyone comes across a situation when they need to drive someone else’s car, and there’s a pretty decent chance that car will be a stick. You’ll want at least a vague familiarity with it.

Hook Up an Entertainment Center

Source

There is absolutely NO excuse for this one. It’s now 2009, TVs with wires coming out the back of them haven’t been new or fangled for twenty years. The wires are color-coded, and even labeled with handy names like “input” and “output”. Here’s a hint, if something outputs, there’s an input somewhere waiting for it. With HDTVs on the rise now, it’s even easier with HDMI plugs, since there’s only one cable. Your grandfather may get away with having the Geek Squad come out to the house to install his new TV, but you need to man up and handle your own business.

Fix a Toilet

Source

Everyone has a toilet, most houses even have more than one. They’re not new and they’re not that scary inside, either, yet somehow this all goes out the window the moment that flush handle stops making noises. Odds are, if you take the lid off the back of the toilet and peek in there, you’re going to immediately see what’s wrong. It’s not a complicated assembly, and if you really can’t figure out how the flapper works, the guy at Home Depot will be happy to take one and half minutes to explain it to you.

Navigate a Map and Use GPS

Source

There should never be any instance when a man is handed a map and says, “I don’t know what I’m looking at here.” It may sound silly to some, but it happens every day. The culprit is usually the same guy who can’t drive. Roadmaps aren’t exactly of the difficulty level the Goonies had to deal with; they have clearly marked labels and landmarks, just like the road you’re on. The same goes for ditching the map and using a GPS device, which are built to be easy enough to operate one-handed and without looking. That’s their purpose, so you shouldn’t have a problem learning how to use one.

Change the Oil

Source

Granted, in a decade or so cars that even have oil to change will be much less common, but right now they’re the run of the mill and have been since your grandparents were toddlers. Every man should be able to, if needed, change the oil in his car, as well as swap the spark plugs and the air filter. These three things make up the bare minimum maintenance-skills trifecta for car-owners. The only exception to this rule would be if you grew up filthy rich, and only drove cars that required special garage tools and special knowledge and calibration. That’s probably not you.

Balance a Checkbook

Source

A man needs to be able to manage his money. That’s just a simple fact of life, a part of growing up and a major factor in whether or not he spends his life alone and miserable. Now, while it’s true that money isn’t everything, it definitely matters quite a bit. A woman isn’t necessarily shallow if she doesn’t want to spend her life with a guy who can’t keep his bank account from over-drafting, she’s just got good sense.

Cook the Perfect Steak

Source

A timeless symbol of manhood, cooking the perfect steak is a long sought-after goal for any man who’s ever touched a grill. It’s just one of those things we all have to strive for in life. On top of that, it’s a great way to garner respect around the neighborhood, and it’s sure to get you a reputation as a good cook regardless of any actual cooking skills. The last thing you want is for your own wife or girlfriend to ask that you let your friend man the grill on the 4th of July. It should always be you.

Swim the Breaststroke

Source

The need to be able to swim is one of basic survival. If you fall into a body of water, you need to be able to get back out, otherwise you’re a danger to yourself and others. You don’t need to be an Olympic-style swimmer, but you should at the very least be able to pull off a breaststroke if your life depended on it, and it might, you really never know. If the whole impending doom thing doesn’t sway you, then the fact that you look lame dog-paddling across the lake might.

Write Effectively

Source

Unless you plan on spending your entire life working construction, and not as the foreman, you’re going to have to write more than one paragraph at some point. When that time comes, you need to be able to string something together that’s both coherent, and correct. That means spelling, grammar and proper punctuation, all things taught throughout high school. If, like most young men, you weren’t paying any attention during high school and now can’t write a paper to save your life, there are plenty of resources available on the Internet; take some time and rectify your mistakes before it’s too late.

Dress for the Occasion

Source

Jeans and a t-shirt are great, every guy needs to be comfortable, and nobody would fault a guy for wearing his favorite jeans to the store. That’s a far cry from going to a job interview, a wedding or to a yacht party dressed like this. A man needs to have a presence and that means not looking like a drowned rat in unwashed clothes. You need to be able to dress yourself, and women will attest to this. It may be a little more expensive than the thrift store, but the payoff is ten-fold. If you lack fashion sense, and many men do, take a woman with you. There is no better shopping partner than a fashion-conscious woman.

Sew a Button

Source

Yes, you can run around asking every woman in sight if she can help you fix your broken button, but you’re going to look like a jerk. It’s pretty easy to fix a rogue button if you can get a hold of a needle and thread. All you need to do is thread the needle, and then start looping it through the button holes and fabric. It doesn’t have to be pretty, it just has to keep the button on your clothes until you can replace them or find someone to do a professional job (like your mother). The last thing you want to do is to just walk around missing a button, that just looks ridiculous.

Do Laundry Properly

Source

Many men get away without the most rudimentary of laundry skills, but they’re the guys who only own one pair of Levis and three black t-shirts. Socks and underwear are always optional to these gentlemen and they live the perennial single life. A man needs to be able to take care of his clothes, and that includes sorting them to allow for color-bleed as well as fabric types. The dryer can also be a deal breaker – even when washing correctly, and you don’t want to end up with a shirt that fits a 10-year-old. Learning this skill is actually a pretty involved, drawn-out process, but with enough trips to the laundromat, and enough stupid questions annoying the women that happen to be there, you can learn how to handle your clothes like a fashion expert – and maybe even get a date while you’re at it.

Handle Roadside Emergencies

Source

If you’re going to be out on the road, then you need to be able to handle a flat tire or jump a battery. Not knowing these two simple things can be just as bad as walking into the desert with no water. It’s also important that you be able to stop to help others who are stranded on the side of the road when they don’t know how to change their flat tire.

Build a Fire

Source

Much like swimming, this is a basic survival skill that mankind developed long ago. There is always the off-chance that you may need to spontaneously build a fire, and you should have at least some inkling of how to go about doing it if the need ever arises. You don’t need to become an expert fire-starter, but you should at the very least be aware of the various methods that exist. There is no shame in taking the easy way out; always having a lighter, or a book or box of matches on hand. Weatherproof matches in your glovebox are always a good idea, and flint-strikers are cheap and non-combustible alternatives as well. Man discovered fire, don’t be the guy who never learned how to use it.

You May Also Like:

Everyone’s got their own tastes, and after 15 Of The Hottest Women in Politics there was plenty of feedback to attest to that. Here we have 14 more women, all involved politically, all demanded by their faithful masses. Disregarding their political views, these women certainly all have one thing in common; among their peers they are hot.

Queen Rania of Jordan

Source

Known the world over for her stunning beauty, Queen Rania is not only royalty, but also qualifies as an Ultra MILF since she’s the mother of four children since 1994. She isn’t your average sit at home queen, either, as she travels the world on business and is actively involved in international politics. To add to her touch, she didn’t start off life as anything close to royalty, she used to work for Citibank and even Apple, before she met the lucky Jordanian Prince who would be King.

Belinda Stronach

Source

The Honourable Belinda Stronach, as she’s called in Canada, has had quite a career in politics, not to mention having her head photoshopped onto other women’s bodies. The effect, while comical, was probably pretty true to life since the veteran Minister of Parliament always took great care of her body, despite a recent bout with cancer. She now heads her own charitable foundation and works to spread cancer awareness.

Meghan McCain

Source

The daughter of ubiquitous Senator John McCain and scary-yet-inexplicably-hot mother Cindy McCain, Meghan was dragged into politics at a young age by publicly disagreeing with her father’s views. Now a fairly prolific blogger, Meghan’s known for her political commentary as well as her campaigning for women’s rights, but most notably for her role in the Gay Rights movement. Her most prominent “assets” got their share of fame recently on Twitter, where she’s kind of a big deal.

Silvana Koch-Mehrin

Source

Silvana has many a German man watching otherwise boring political news in hopes of seeing her strut her stuff. She’s a member of the German Free Democratic Party and also a representative at the European Parliament. She may deal with budgets all day but she certainly doesn’t look like a math geek.

Sonia Chang-Diaz

Source

Daughter of a former NASA astronaut, half Chinese, half Costa-Rican Sonia was the first Latina to be elected to the Massachusetts State Senate. Her dad may have been a physicist and she used to be a teacher herself, but she found her true calling in politics, starting off by actively volunteering around the Boston area before taking on her first Senate race.

Michelle Obama

Source

She’s not just the President’s Wife, she’s a fashionista and a breakthrough model now that she’s graced the covers of magazines like Vogue. Michelle Obama has managed to garner the affections of millions worldwide while always maintaining impeccable posture and a look that demands respect. She doesn’t spend her days resting on her laurels though, she advocates several movements both in the States and abroad, while still spending time with her two daughters.

Sabine Herold

Source

Painted as the diminutive poster-girl for the French Libertarian movement, a revolutionary, and generally cute political indie-chick, Sabine Herold had a meteoric rise to fame. She started off humble enough, going to school, graduating and becoming spokeswoman of the Liberté chérie association. All that’s great and everything, but in 2003 little Sabine headed an 80,000 person strong protest in Paris. That’s making waves.

Dana Perino

Source

Who can forget the glorious final two years of the Bush Administration? Not for anything it did, but for the press releases, because any time they had something to say, bumbling little woman was the one to deliver the bad news. Since she lost her job with everyone else at the White House when the new administration took over, she’s been working with Fox News and even CNN, staying in front of the camera, where all her fans want her.

Carey Torrice

Source

The Macomb County Commissioner of Macomb County, Michigan, Carey made a name for herself by being quite possibly the single hottest woman to ever enter politics in the United States. As if that wasn’t enough, she thought she’d own up to her status by posing in front of just about any camera within range of her, and even do it in bikinis and sexy costumes. She even set up her own gallery to show the world how ridiculously hot she is.

Charlotte Casiraghi of Monaco

Source

As the fourth in line to the throne, she’s called Charlotte of Monaco, and it might be expected that she be beautiful. While the majority of royals aren’t that great to look at in reality, Charlotte proves the old stereotype of what a would-be princess should be. And at only 22 years old, the girl is set to be gorgeous for a long, long time to come. As a testament to how differently things work in Europe, at age 16 the young debutante was named one of the ten most eligible young women in the world. Here that’s Chris Hansen territory, unless you’re Miley Cyrus.

Princess Alexandra of Luxembourg

Source

Her Royal Highness is the Princess of not only Luxembourg, but also Nassau and Bourbon-Parma. That’s one hell of a load to carry at 19 years old, but she does it with style and flare. The really odd thing about this girl is how quickly she can go from gorgeous ice-queen to fun-loving girl at the county fair, like in the above picture, firing off some rounds like a champ.

Noor Pahlavi, Princess of Iran

Source

Noor, living in exile, still carries the title of Princess of Iran even though she was born right here in the USA. Her father, still considered by many to be the rightful Shah of Iran, hasn’t returned since the revolution of ‘79. Noor spends her time now going to school in Maryland, and at barely 18 years old the young beauty queen is quickly becoming a hot topic now that she’s no longer a scarlet letter.

Mary Carey

Source

The porn star who amazed the world when she declared her intent to run for Governor of California, Marey Carey not only made good on her promise (even if it was a publicity stunt) but is still technically committed to a bid for the 2016 Presidential Elections. She has to wait until then to make the age requirements, since a candidate must be 35 years old to run for President. That ought to round out her resumé pretty well, all things considered.

Elizabeth Kucinich

Source

Our Honorable Mention this time belongs to Mrs. Kucinich. During the Election Primaries in 2008, it was difficult for men to pay attention to Democratic hopeful Dennis Kucinich when his wife was around. Nobody could get over the striking dissimilarity between the small, dumpy congressman and his awkwardly hot redheaded wife, Elizabeth. She still holds the hearts of many admirers, and might be the most interesting politician’s wife to come along in a long while. She’s not only British and not American, but she’s got her tongue pierced and has travelled all over the world volunteering to help poor children. She makes girlfriends and wives jealous.

We’ve all grown up with countless bits of bad advice and tall tales hovering over us. Masturbation makes you go blind, shaving once brings a full beard– all stories that went from ridiculous to widely accepted. In the last few years people have taken many of these old myths to task, and now most are accepted not as truth but rather, as  (for lack of a better word) bullshit. Somehow, these defunct, old wives tales about men are still passed around like common knowledge.

The More You Shave, The Thicker The Beard

Source

Many men still vehemently swear this myth is true, but it simply isn’t. Just as you can’t permanently “train your hair” because follicles do what your genetics tell them to, neither can shaving your beard change the way it grows. It will definitely feel more coarse afterward, but that’s because you’ve chopped off the tapered ends of the individual hairs, leaving only the thicker portions of their shafts. And despite the uproar about it, dermatologists have put their collective foot down on the matter.

Drinking Yellow #5 Is Bad For Your Manhood

Source

This popular myth spread about just like the old “fake sugar causes cancer” myth (and it can, if you eat five times your body weight in fake sugar daily). The fact is, Yellow #5 dye is harmless, and has always been harmless, and will always be harmless. The rumor myth grew in among young people and got taken to college with them, where it apparently didn’t learn anything because people still believe this one, too.

Wearing Briefs Causes Sterility

Source

It’s very easy to be taken in by this one, since doctors will warn men suffering from low sperm counts to stay away from hot tubs, and wearing tight underwear, sitting on BBQ’s, etc. Testicles need to maintain temperature to keep viable sperm, and that’s why they need to hang away from the body, but the affect of wearing briefs is negligible if you are a healthy, virile male. You can wear spandex biking shorts all day long if you want to, but you’re not going to wind up sterile.

Drinking Beer Causes a Beer Belly

Source

Drinking beer, in mass quantities, will contribute to your inevitable beer belly if your diet and exercise habits are severely lacking. Caloric content in beer is extremely high, but there is nothing special about beer that makes you grow a bulbous midsection, unless you’re a woman, and that’s due to bad decisions after having too many beers in one night. You can just as easily grow a beer belly without drinking any beer at all, you just wouldn’t have as much fun doing it.

Balding Comes from Mom’s Side, or Wearing Hats

Source

This simply is not true, at all. Men’s baldness is entirely blamable on genetics, but it can be from a man’s mother, father, grandfather, or grandmother. There is no set pattern for it to follow, it can skip generations or pop up seemingly out of nowhere. Wearing hats will not cause baldness either, unless you’re surgically implanting hats into your scalp. Instead of finding blame, it’s best to try to deal with it – just not with a comb-over, please.

Penis Length Measured by Shoe or Hand Size

Source

This is one of those fun myths we don’t seem to want to go away. Even women swear this is true, because their mothers tell them it’s true. The fact is that while it’s tempting to say that an erect penis’s length may be very close to the distance measured between the tip of your thumb, and that of your forefinger (held at a right angle), it’s just a coincidence. Likewise, thinking your shoe size has any bearing on your penis length is just begging for disappointment.

Men Hit Sexual Peak at 18

Source

This is still widely thought to be true, while in reality it’s more like testosterone levels are highest at this age. That may be chief among manly hormones, but it has little bearing on a man’s functional sexuality, and even less to do with his sexual experience or skill. Women in particular call this myth absolutely ridiculous.

Masturbating Too Much is Bad For You

Source

It’s like this: Unless you’re suffering from some sort of repetitive behavioral disorder, you really can’t masturbate so often that it becomes a physical problem, socially, well that’s a different story. Men continue producing ridiculous amounts of semen throughout their entire lifetimes, there’s no chance of you ever running out because of masturbation. Neither will you somehow cause damage to your equipment through frequent solo use.

Spicy Food or Hard Liquor Will Put Hair On Your Chest

Source

Some people actually still believe this, even today. The idea itself is simply ridiculous, and the only thing that’s going to put hair on your chest is your genetics, or maybe glue.

Oysters Make You Horny

Source

There are actually quite a few storied foods that people still think are aphrodisiacs today. Oysters is a big one, but let’s not forget the fantastic drink Josta that got pulled off the market when the public got hoaxed into thinking Guarana was an aphrodisiac. The truth is that no food or drink has ever been found to actually affect sexuality, physiologically at least. If it makes you feel sexier to eat something with the consistency of snot, then by all means, get your groove on.

Men Think About Sex Every Seven Seconds

source

Every seven seconds, a woman somewhere still quotes this in a rant about men. Lately, it’s been completely abandoned, since whatever research was done to “prove” this was shoddy at best. If anything, the myth itself causes men to wonder if they’re wondering about sex.

Antiperspirants Cause Male Breast Cancer

Source

This was another fairly epic schoolyard myth that got carried with boys throughout their young adulthood into maturity. Studies have shown that women who regularly shave their armpits and use antiperspirant just as regularly may possibly have a slightly higher likelihood of developing breast cancer, but no study has even been conclusive in that. As for men, not even a one in a million chance.

Staring At Large Breasts Can Help You Live Longer

Source

While in a punnery sense, this could be true, in a literal sense it’s absolute hogwash. A man can stare at pure pornography all day long and not live a day longer than if he hadn’t. This myth follows the same rules as “petting kittens can add years to your life,” where the idea is to be happier, more calm, have good blood flow and live your life. That being said, it doesn’t really hurt either.

Average Penis Length Is Seven Inches

Source

This one is so widespread it’s pretty much thought of as statistical fact. The real statistical fact is that the average penis length is somewhere between four to six inches, erect. Feel like a superman now, don’t you? (whew)

Men Can’t Get Breast Cancer

Source

While the odds are overwhelmingly against a man getting breast cancer, it’s technically possible. No need to worry though, you don’t need to do regular checks since it’s not really something you’d miss.

Having Lots of Sex Can Negatively Impact Your Sporting Prowess

Source

This old myth has become more of a superstition, but some still swear by it in the literal sense. Fact is, sex does alleviate stress, anxiety, and aggression for a short period of time directly after the act, but that has nothing to do with your actual performance in sports. If your suddenly being happier detracts from your ability to score a point, you may have other issues to deal with, but sex isn’t one of them.

Well Rounded Lifestyle

source

Condom ads are generally creative, clever and often funny, but this ad for Lifestyle condoms uses the seemingly innocent phrase “well-rounded” next to a near perfect female bottom to really turn up the heat and inspire your imagination.

Calvin Klein Orgy Billboard

source

Calvin Klein is no stranger to sexy and suggestive ads that push the limits, but this orgy billboard in SoHo stirred serious controversy. CK took so much heat for the ad, it was quickly replaced with a different, but still sexy, ad featuring a dripping wet model in a tiny red bikini.

Guess Who’s Dry Humping

source

Guess is also known for provocative and racy ads and this jeans ad was no exception. Models Clint Mauro and Irina Shayk grope at each other and dry hump in this spicy ad series.

Gain Confidence and Respect

source

According to the commercials, Enzyte helped Bob gain respect at the clubhouse and gratitude from his wife. Bob is the owner of the company and is now doing 25 years in the clink for fraud related to the herbal supplement, although the Enzyte ads still run on late night television.

At Home with the Beckhams

source

Meet the Beckhams. He’s a soccer star and she’s a Spice Girl. In their spare time, they like to lounge around seductively in their underwear from Emporio Armani.

Goodbye Bush

source

This clever ad for a hair removal product ran after the election. There were no sexy or suggestive images in the ad, but it got the point across in just two words: Goodbye Bush.

Hooters: Best Food Anywhere

source

Let’s face it. Hooters could sell french fried assholes and still be packed every time they’re open. The food may be delicious, but that’s not the attraction here.

He Thought Long and Hard

source

When Philippe Starck was designing “Long and Hard” he may not have considered the implications of the name. Every woman wants to shop here.

Dorito Bikini

source

This inventive Doritos ad uses a single corn chip as the triangle patch on a girl’s bikini. It’s cute and amusing and has made many men look at Doritos in a different light.

She Wants Seven Inches

source

So what is Burger King trying to suggest here? They offer the “BK Super Seven Incher” that will, apparently, blow your mind away. The blonde girl with her mouth open in an O shape looks as though she is ready to take those seven inches in one gulp.

It’s All About Shoes

source

A woman is laying on her back, with her dress hiked up, one foot in the air – what exactly is J. Bournazos trying to sell here? Oh, it’s shoes. Of course. Why would anyone think otherwise?

Oh, Excuse Me

source

This jeans ad makes you feel as though you’ve walked in on an intimate moment between the models. The sexiest jeans ads are always the ones that imply the models will not be wearing them much longer.

Gorgeous Air Bags

source

Airbags? Seriously? Mercedes took some flack for this ad from feminists who found it degrading to woman. Men love the S-Class and “natural” airbags and didn’t seem to have a problem with the ad.

Play Hard

source

The more you play with it, the harder it gets and you know if you want to be good at it, you have to practice hard.

I Do Feel Thirsty

source

Hey, Blackjack cola – what does a glistening naked ass have to do with your product? Well, yeah, I am hot and thirsty, actually.

Fun For Everyone

source

Let’s not kid ourselves here and say that breast implants are to make women feel better about themselves and improve confidence. If they do that, great; however, when you give the gift of implants you also get something you can enjoy for years to come. It’s a swell investment.

Rigid Pickes Rule

source

A fresh pickle always stands at attention and nobody likes an impotent.. um.. soggy pickle. Just look how much more attractive the rigid one is.

Now She Does It Every Day

source

She used to do what once a week? Diddle herself? Have random sex with strangers? Call her mother? The ad doesn’t say exactly, but it’s believed to be a fitness billboard.

Gangbang and Voyeurism

source

This Dolce & Gabbana ad looks like a promotion for gang bang and voyeur night at the hottest local sex club.

Women Love Bread

source

Bread. Quite possibly the world’s most perfect food. The ad says “Bread is Life,” but it looks more like a representative of the hot beef injection food group was placed in the bread basket.

Dirty, Dirty Girl

source

She’s a dirty, dirty girl. Wash her up with Lynx shower gel.

Sexy, Sexy… Toilet Paper?

source

Is there anything sexier than toilet paper? We honestly had no idea a concrete room with a toilet and roll of Renova toilet paper could bring so much pleasure.

She Likes Large Meat

source, source

Carl’s Jr. gives it to you straight in it’s big burger ads. It’s not the first time the burger chain has run suggestive ads. A few years ago Paris Hilton starred in a Carl’s Jr. commercial in which she enjoyed a large piece of meat. Not a first for her either.

Exclusive photo from Entertainment Tonight of Michael Jackson on the stretcher, being transported to UCLA Medical Center.

Please do enjoy, The Story (so far) of Twitter. Start at the bottom and work your way up on this one.

Graphic by Infoshot, please feel free to use this image on your blog, just be sure to link back here to the original source.

You Should Also Check Out:

Via FriendFeed

Why must you be so cruel Megan.

Want to see more photos of Megan Fox?

Infographic by Infoshot

You Should Also Check Out:

Guess what? Manolith received almost 1 million visitors in the last 30 days. Please excuse us while we pat ourselves on the back. Ok we’re done. While this is great, we’re ready to take this little web site even further. So I’m happy to announce that we’ve promoted Ned to Editor of Manolith.

I first discovered Ned on another little site called Boner Party. Here he provided countless laughs and anecdotes along with a few hundred posts about Zoey Deschanel. His style had a certain magic I wanted to capture here on Manolith.

So I convinced him to come on board as a writer, since then he has brought you such classics as Velociraptor Hunting Trophy and Top 5 Best Yahoo Answers. Now he’s in charge, that’s both frightening and exciting for us.

Please wish him luck and follow both Ned and Manolith on Twitter.

There’s no denying the obvious: men have served a useful purpose in the evolutionary development of the human race. However, developments in science and technology are rapidly advancing, allowing women to slowly, but surely, replace the men in their lives. Are men destined to go the way of gills and the vestigial tail? Maybe not, but here are 12 ways in which men are becoming increasingly obsolete to the needs of women.

Artificial Insemination

source

They say to be creative you have to “think outside the box,” but some of the best solutions come from doing just the opposite. Artificial insemination already means women can obey their biological clocks without ever having to be in a relationship with a man (awesome), and soon the day will arrive when he’s not needed at all. And for those who want to keep the romance involved, let’s talk turkey.

HGTV and Power Tools

source

For the longest time, the hardware store was a man’s domain. It was too complicated and unrefined for most women. There might be sawdust on the floor, unwashed laborers were likely to spit, and there was also the threat of having to do math. Then there was the revolution: HGTV. Complimented by clean mega-stores such as Home Depot and Lowes, women can now access tools and supplies in a way that can be as fulfilling as lingerie shopping. And with enough practice, women can now install Koi Ponds with waterfalls and the window treatments will likely match the new rug.

Bug Spray

source

It sounds so basic, but bug spray is not only one of the most underrated inventions of all time, but subversively is a huge blow to male entrenchment. Nobody likes bugs, but men do like to kill things. There are presumably entire relationships predicated on spider-removal. And so, the invention of bug spray was has a huge impact on male-female relationships: women no longer need men to step on the bugs while they stand on chairs. You’ve come a long way, ladies, and Raid helped.

Amazon

source

Women love getting presents, even if they have to buy them for themselves. With the advent of e-commerce sites such as Amazon.com, men no longer are needed to remember special dates and imaginary ‘just because’ situations. Women can even take it a step further if they want by pretending these gifts are from someone else. It is pure self-gratification.

Pepper Spray and Tasers

source

Once upon a time, women were afraid to be out alone at night without a male bodyguard. And the invention of pepper spray meant a new degree of freedom for women (and a whole new world of Chipotle).  The next generation is that of the taser, beneficial not only for upping testicle-trashing power, but also great in that a woman never has to fear getting pepper spray on her clean shirt. They even come in pink.

Sex Toys

source

Surprising?

Chocolate

source

Enough said.

Massage Chairs

source

No one would be surprised to find out that millions of women put up with bad marriages just for the massages.  Massage chairs are forever changing the art of massage. They now come stocked with all sorts of sophisticated gadgetry that effectively massage shoulders, back, arms, legs and a few other places. All while watching TV, surfing the web and monitoring the Nikkei Index. Bonus: it completely does away with the need to communicate with another person.

Windows Vista

source

One benefit of frequent male shenanigans is the constant disappointment of their female partners, and consequently, the provision of regular opportunities to yell. The screaming isn’t just for sport: it allows women to relieve stress and release endorphins, serotonin, adrenaline and possibly melanin. Enter Microsoft Windows Vista. With a dominant market share, Microsoft ensures that women will have endless frustration for the rest of their lives, and forever have something to get royally pissed off about. Think of it not as bitching, but rather as “preventative health-care.”

Global Warming

source

Men have been fairly handy as firewood choppers for a few thousand years now. Furnaces offered a solution, but water heaters are heavy and men were needed to move them. With the recent climate changes, this problem seems to be taking care of itself.

Gay Men

source

Women that have shopped with gay men (cyborgs?) conspire that there is science and precision related to how perfectly they can select outfits and accessories. Additionally, a woman’s gay friend loves gossip, and in most cases won’t borrow clothes and never return them (in most cases). Furthermore, these guys see no problem in staying in to watch American Idol with a small tub of Chunky Monkey, constantly opining on how they could turn Ryan Seacrest.

Openers

source

For as long as there have been jars and cans there has been a need for torque to remove tightly sealed lids. Men were good for this. But the can opener changed all that. First the mechanical metal utensil, and later the electric can opener. Today,  a lid is but a mere annoyance for a woman, and the mechanical whir of the can opener is as soothing to a woman as the gentle purr of a vibrator.

Megan Fox did a smoking hot photo spread for an upcoming Esquire magazine issue. You snag a copy come May 10th from newsstands, or take a sneak peak of some of the latest Megan Fox photos below. Enjoy.

Is this how Swine Flu started?

Give us your best caption down below in the comments. Manolith will make a small donation to the Inappropriate Jokes Foundation in your name for the best comment.

One nice thing about running a website like Manolith is companies can’t stop sending us free stuff. We get everything from beef jerky to Snuggies. Occasionally we even get something really cool, in this case a 2009 Lincoln MKS to test drive for a weekend.

Now I should really preface by saying I’m a German car guy. I like my cars like I like my women, fast and efficient. I’m probably not even the right demographic for such a car. Never the less, I was greatly impressed with the MKS. But before we get too lovey dovey, let’s not forget these aren’t the best times for American car makers. Long associated with creating sub par automobiles, the industry and consumer confidence are in trouble.

Enter the Lincoln MKS. A car that is reminiscent of the class and style found mostly in yesteryear. Think the smoothness of the Lincoln Continental, except with THX sound and all wheel drive. It doesn’t have suicide doors but it moves, handles and generally felt great to whip up Pacific Coast Highway. Toss in some nice geek features like touchscreen interface and Microsoft Sync, and I’m happy. Check out our video and photos for a closer look at the Lincoln MKS.  

Video

Photos