(Photo via: Imgur)

A Concise Guide to Getting Out of a Speeding Ticket:

Fat, 40 and Back!: Gwen Steffani makes 40 look a lot better than Johnny Rotten. And she looks better in a bikini. (Guyism)

Ice-T: Now with Ice Cube(s). (Yep Yep)

Doggie Bag: What your dog would get you if he understood the concept of Christmas. Sure, it loks cheap at first, be remember, your dog doesn’t have a job. (i am bored)

How Not to Rob a Liquor Store: There are so many ways to not rob a liquor store, but this one is probably the most obvious. (Break)

8-bit Zoology: How classic 80s video game characters would look if they were real. (Cracked)

Deathproof: 10 historical people who were hard as hell to kill. (Ego TV Online)

Totally Busted: By Google Street View. (The Chive)

Zordon?: Remember Zordon from the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers? Turns out he’s a big, huge bigot. (Collge Humor)

Are Women as Horny as Men?: Probably. (Funny or Die)

Sean Penn is a Stooge: In the Farrelly Brother’s new Three Stooges movie. (Gamma Squad)

Spike Lee’s Tribute to Michael Jackson: Only slightly less depressing that “When The Levees Broke.” (Twirlit)

(Photo via: Imgur)

At Manolith, we want all our readers to be hip as hell. Not like James Dean, timeless cool guy hip. We want you to be like Marc Bolan hip — so caught up in the fashions of your time that in retrospect you look a little goofy. Sure, it’s gonna be a little embarrassing in the future, but right now it’ll be the most awesome thing ever.

That’s why we want to hook you up with an iTunes card loaded with some cash so that you can download all of today’s chart toppers. We also want to give you this fancy MacBook case by Hard Candy Cases, because nothing says hip like your MacBook looking different than all the other hipsters’ MacBooks.

Here’s a few ways to enter:

Note: Please use a valid e-mail address. US and Canada residents only.

Three lucky winners will be chosen randomly. Giveaway ends Wednesday, January 13, 2010. Winners will be reached by email on January 13, 2010.

Good luck!!

Inner Monologue:

So That’s What TMI Means: 7 things you should absolutely never share about yourself. Ever. (Guyism)

Here’s One Explanation: A possible reason why marriage equality is defeated in certain states. (i am bored)

Suddenly, I’m Disappointed About Christmas: The coolest toy ever. Really. (The Chive)

Did Someone Say Sex Scandal: The 10 hottest political mistresses in U.S. history. (Ego TV Online)

Archduke Ferdiwho?: 6 assassination attempts that almost messed up the world. (Cracked)

How Can We Have Sex?: An educational film. (Funny or Die)

Why You Should Listen to Your Girlfriend When She Tells you to Come to Bed: A hot chick destroys her boyfriend’s PS3. (Break)

Mortal Kombat is Not a Tournament: It’s a good thing the NCAA isn’t run by Shang Tsung. (College Humor)

K.I.S.S.: 10 ways to simplify your life in the new year. (Made Man)

Sittin’ In a Tree: Matt Kemp and Rihanna. (Twirlit)

Dress For Suck-sess: Tips for the college grad on a budget. (Primer Magazine)

(Photo via: Imgur)

Explaining the Unexplainable: Annoying female behaviors examined and explained, including the mystery of the mass bathroom migration. (Guyism)

Finally!: A team rap song that doesn’t suck. (Yep Yep)

The Last Decade In Pictures: If you don’t think you can wrap up the previous decade with a series of small doodles on a chart, you’re totally wrong. (i am bored)

Hugest Freaking Baby Ever: It’s not just huge, it’s super huge, and slightly resembles an awful stereotype. (The Chive)

10 Totally Hot Indie Girls: As if there needs to be a list? Although Emily Haines is on this one, and she would be totally hotter if she wouldn’t interrupt Metric shows to give her Canadian opinion about American politics. (Ego TV Online)

Six Creepy Animal Behaviors Science Can’t Explain: Why your dog insists on watching you have sex, however, is not on this list. (Cracked)

Top 25 Pop Songs of 2009 Mashup: Warning: Lady Gaga is on the list. More than once. (College Humor)

What Do I Need This Home Depot Gift Card For? I Already Got All This Wood: She’s sassy. She’s festive. And she’s working on Christmas. (Funny or Die)

A Man of Many Talents: A man of many talents, and although none of them are cerebral talents, when’s the last time you back-flipped off a wall for the entertainment of the Internet-addled masses? That’s what we thought. (Break)

Kick-Start Your Career in 2010: More money is always good, isn’t it? (Made Man)

We All Live in a Pedal Submarine: A cool invention that’ll make 2010 kick ass. If you’re rich. (Gamma Squad)

So What If It’s Made For Men: Personal products you can share with your lady. (Twirlit)

Finally, a team rap video that does totally suck:

(Photo via: Imgbit)

Ahhh, Bernie Maddoff, arguably the most successful huckster of the 21st Century (even if we are only a decade in). Maddoff ran the biggest Ponzi scheme in history for almost a quarter century and bilked investors out of more than $65 billion during his run. Of course, once he was caught, Maddoff claimed to be “deeply sorry and ashamed.” Of course, it’s easy to be ashamed when you’re kicking back in your $7 million Manhattan apartment, trying to decide whether you’d be feeling more deeply sorry while kicking back in your $11 million Palm Beach, Fla. estate or your $1 million French chateau. Or your prison cell. Maddoff is currently serving a 150-year sentence in the Federal Correctional Complex in Butner, N.C.

(Photo via Imgbit)

We Can’t Wait For the Balls to Drop: The seven kinds of people you’ll meet at a New Year’s party. (Guyism)

The World is Full of Them: Complete dumbasses give advice on the internet. Makes you wonder who’s seeking all that sage wisdom. (Yep Yep)

Christians and The Internet: Probably something akin to vinegar and baking soda. (i am bored)

Rednecks Really do Have More Fun: Here, they have more fun hunting Turkeys. (Break)

Overlooked in Life: Well, not really, but overlooked in death. In other unfortunate news, Sky Saxon is not on the list. (Cracked)

Meet my New Girlfriend: Darth Vader edition. (The Chive)

Finally, a List About Cool Stuff: Best movies of the decade. (Ego TV Online)

If Princess Peach Had a Facebook Profile: Peach and other video game characters update their Facebook status. (College Humor)

You’re Pushin’ Too Hard: Signs you need to chill out. (Primer Magazine)

Our Guess is that It’s Not an Urban Legend: MythBusters’ Erik Gates dies in a freak accident. (Twirlit)

See, someone misses you, Sky Saxon.

(Photo via imgur)

Grandma Millie an Grandma Fran:

As Long as Your New Years Resolution Isn’t to Quit Drinking: What your New Year’s sauce says about you. (Guyism)

Anti-Climax Department: Snowboarder face plant. (Yep Yep)

Just Not Getting It Department: Islam is a religion of peace, according to this sign. (i am bored)

Kind of like “The Exorcist”: This cat is possessed by some kind of malevolent something or other. (Break)

Ed Hardy Shirts, Popped Polo Collars and Tan-In-A-Can: Yup, it’s more pictures of douchebags culled from the depths of the internet and served cold for your enjoyment. (The Chive)

Ed Hardy Shirts, Popped Polo Collars and Designer Trucker Hats: Most questionable fashion choices of the last decade. (Ego TV Online)

Six Obnoxious Inventions: That will soon be taking over your car. (Cracked)

All Today’s Heros Are Dead: Even after death, hilarity ensues. (College Humor)

Hi, I’m a PC: Four year-old Asian girl edition. (Funny or Die)

Passive Aggressiveness: How to get someone else to deal with it for you. (Primer Magazine)

Mr. Garrison: Quite possibly the new Aristotle. (Gamma Squad)

Avenged Sevenfold’s Jimmy Sullivan: Found dead in Huntington Beach. (Twirlit)

(Photo via imgur)

She Could Really Be NBC Dateline: Seven types of online dater you should probably avoid. (Guyism)

We’ve Got That B-Roll: Need footage of ordinary people doing ordinary things? (Yep Yep)

Geography Class: Al Franken gives a lesson in drawing awesome freehand maps of the US at some state fair. (Break)

Vigilante Justice: A Chinese man stops a thief by throwing his bicycle. (i am bored)

The Only Proven, 100% Reliable Method of Birth Control: Millennium Falcon bed. (The Chive)

10 New Years Resolutions: Celebrity Edition. (Ego TV Online)

Since it is  The End of an Era: Here’s a countdown of the top 5 everything of the decade. (Cracked)

Christmas: Then and now. (College Humor)

Everything’s Bigger in Texas: Not sure what’s going on in the other 49, though. (Funny or Die)

As If A Case Needs to be Made: A case for the skinny tie. (Primer Magazine)

Father of the Year: This guy pilots a remote controlled aircraft while his kids try to shoot it out of the sky with fireworks. (Gamma Squad)

A Very Canadian Christmas: Only this article uses a pejorative for Canadians that we’re too kind to print because Canada is awesome (mostly for inventing poutine).  (Twirlit)

And, finally, because we’re so full of holiday cheer:

Photo via Imgr)

Putting The Lay In Layover: How to hook up with chicks at the airport during the holiday bustle. (Holy Taco)

One Is Sung by Patrick Swayze: The best made-for-TV Christmas songs. (Guyism)

Strangest Celebrity Rumors: Although most rumors involving celebs are strange, these ones are the strangest, and our pals at Ego TV debunk/confirm them. (Ego TV Online)

How Men See Google: Here’s a hint: “Boobs” is totally one of the top search terms. (Yep Yep)

Dumb People & Tattoos: As long as people don’t stop getting tattoos like these, the Internet will never go out of business. (i am bored)

How Not To Steal A Plasma TV: Or how to get caught while trying to steal a plasma TV. (Break)

This Should Be a New Olympic Sport: These Russians are awesome at shooting vodka. (The Chive)

Shaken, Not Stirred: Six bad ass secret agent skills you can learn in less than a week. No, drinking martini’s isn’t one of them.(Cracked)

Home Alone Remix: I Made my Family Disappear? (College Humor)

Prop. 8, The Musical: I know this is a little old, but in honor of Mexico City officially being more politically progressive than the state of California, here it is. (Funny or Die)

Man on the Moon: Nasa creates a new game in hopes that you’ll actually give a crap about space. (Gamma Squad)

If You Waited This Long, You’re Totally Screwed: Eleven last minute gifts for your girlfriend. (Primer Mag)

Because Self-Improvement Sucks: This year, resolve not to have a New Year’s resolution. Only don’t make that your resolution because that would be self-defeating. (Twirlit)