Writer’s Profile

Juan Aguilar

Juan Aguilar

Bonjour! I'm a lover, a Comme-ci-comme-ça-vivant, a jack-of-some-trades. Some would call me Latino, some would call me a pompous ass, and others would call me Rolf, because I lied to them and said my name is Rolf. No one would say I'm a funny person. *Serious face* Twitter: twitter.com/sonofafish Blog:You Can Stay, But I'm Leaving

Recent Blogs

  1. Chickolith – Isla Fisher

    Chickolith – Isla Fisher

    Posted by Juan Aguilar – Leave A Comment

    I’m a sucker for pale girls. Maybe it’s my Victorian nature, but the paler the skin, and the redder the hair, the more I’m a sucker for a girl. Which [...]
  2. Christmas Gifts Not to Get for Your Girlfriend

    Christmas Gifts Not to Get for Your Girlfriend

    Posted by Juan Aguilar – 1 Comment

    Am I an expert on gift-giving? Probably not. Am I an expert on women? No, not on them, behind them, or as they dangle precariously above me.
  3. Chickolith – Christina Ricci

    Chickolith – Christina Ricci

    Posted by Juan Aguilar – 2 Comments

    You guys remember one of Christina Ricci’s earliest role as Wednesday Addams in the “Addams Family Movie”? Well, I have to express my disagreement with the lyrics of the theme music, [...]
  4. 10 Useless Gadgets of 2009 Your Loved Ones Don’t Want

    10 Useless Gadgets of 2009 Your Loved Ones Don’t Want

    Posted by Juan Aguilar – 1 Comment

    You remember that Christmas when your mom warned you that your grandma was going to give you Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge instead of Bonestorm and forced you to act excited [...]
  5. Burger King Offers Burger-clad Boobs

    Burger King Offers Burger-clad Boobs

    Posted by Juan Aguilar – Leave A Comment

    As a lover of both burgers and tits, it's hard for me to choose which I prefer.
  6. Social Networking on Xbox 360: Your Nerdiness Squared

    Social Networking on Xbox 360: Your Nerdiness Squared

    Posted by Juan Aguilar – Leave A Comment

    If they figure out a way to make it kiss me and stroke my ... ego, I'm pretty sure I would lose my job and die of starvation in my living room.
  7. Chickolith – Marisa Miller

    Chickolith – Marisa Miller

    Posted by Juan Aguilar – Leave A Comment

    I'm thinking that if you're straight, male, and looking at this article at all, the chances that you read anything past the title are pretty damn slim, as there probably is not enough blood left in your brain to sustain literacy.
  8. Yes, The Weezer Snuggie is a Real Thing

    Yes, The Weezer Snuggie is a Real Thing

    Posted by Juan Aguilar – 2 Comments

    It is a common misconception that Samuel Morse was waxing poetic on the marvels of technology when he first telegraphed, “What hath God wrought” to the Mt. Claire depot in [...]
  9. 10 Halloween Costumes for the Broke and Lazy

    10 Halloween Costumes for the Broke and Lazy

    Posted by Juan Aguilar – 8 Comments

    Ok, so there’s a kick ass Halloween party down the street and everyone was invited … except you. It’s just as well, since you’ve been thinking how awesome it would [...]
  10. Janitors’ Mellow is Harshed When Cops Discover Their Man Cave

    Janitors’ Mellow is Harshed When Cops Discover Their Man Cave

    Posted by Juan Aguilar – Leave A Comment

    You know who else had a man cave? Batman. Except he didn't use it to sell pot and avoid scrubbing toilets.

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