Invest in Your Post-Apocalypse Future With an Underground RV Timeshare

Vivos underground RV park doomsday shelter

Credit: Vivos

The apocalypse might be just around the corner. One day we could see bottomless sinkholes appearing in rapid succession, enormous fireballs raining from the heavens and ugly-ass demons that want to gnaw our sinful heads off. (Go watch This Is The End – don’t ask why – just do it.)

So, an RV park doomsday shelter? Hells, yeah! Where do we sign up?

Vivos, a company that specializes in underground doomsday shelters, is now offering spots in its timeshare RV cavern. No joke.

Carved out of a limestone mountain in Atchison, Kan., the RV park used to be a 60-acre military bunker but has now been converted to an end-of-days hotel of sorts. A wine bar, hair salon, meditation area and various other accommodations are built into the shelter so you don’t have to give up all your Earthly luxuries when world crumbles outside your walls.

So how much does post-apocalypse survival cost? Just $1,000 per foot of RV space plus $1,500 per person for a year’s worth of rations. (After that, the plan is for hydroponic gardens and live farm areas to provide sustainable food.) For two people in a 30-foot vehicle, the cost is a mere $33,000.

The shelter is purely BYORV — bring your own RV. So if you don’t have a vehicle already, you’ll have to buy one. Hmm, this is starting to get pricier. But Vivos can hook you up with a special price from an RV seller so … score!

Vivos founder Robert Vicino has been serving those seeking shelter from a possible extinction event since a dream in 1980 told him the end of the world was coming. He’s made it his life goal to establish the most dependable network of doomsday shelters worldwide, stocked from entrance to cave wall with amenities that would make you wish the world was ending already.

Almost every single one of the Vivos facilities hosts a plethora of luxurious niceties from spacious lounge areas and “4 Star Comfort & Decor” to urgent care and dental centers. Vicino has even taken to calling the bunkers “arks” in the hope that after Judgment Day is over, the remaining humans will repopulate the charred and broken Earth and humanity can thrive once more.

Until of course, the next Armageddon. But Vivos will surely have that covered as well.

So who knows? Maybe the investment is totally worth it and you’ll be glad you reserved that spot in the Vivos RV Park Doomsday Shelter. That is, of course, as long as you can make the drive in time.

P.S. GPS just might be down.

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