British Men Vote Kristen Stewart, Sarah Jessica Parker ‘Least Sexy’ Actresses

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You silly Brits.

You vicious (albeit accurate) and silly Brits.

Apparently bored with the hundreds of “sexiest women” lists out there and, more importantly, desperate to generate some attention and links (and it worked, since you’re reading this), the guys behind the website decided to poll their readers on the topic of unsexy actresses. Never mind the fact that their site has nothing to do with acting, celebrities or even entertainment in general — it’s an e-commerce site that sells useless and overpriced gifts and gadgets (think: crappy version of — they forged forward with the goal of identifying the one actress men are least aroused by.

Any guesses as to who won?

If you said Kristen Stewart, you win no prizes because you’re a bit of a bully. But you’re also correct.

Look: we all know that Stewart isn’t exactly every man’s dream woman, but do we really need to declare her the least appealing overall? Also, why do we assume she wants to be sexy to all the men out there? Sure, her movies are terrible and her acting is among the worst ever, but can’t we all just let her be? She’s under no obligation to appeal to the men of the world — and certainly not the ones who vote in polls like this.

Coming in second was Sarah Jessica Parker. In some ways, you kind of have to feel good for her — she wasn’t first! Yes, Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty damn unappealing to most guys. That fact has been so well established over the years that you have to be completely heartless not to feel bad for her. Parker’s taken so much abuse from the Internet, including literally hundreds of photos comparing her face to that of a horse, that it’s way past time for us to let up. We’re all the bad people in this scenario, not her.

Coming in a surprisingly low third was Lindsay Lohan. Maybe people are finally getting bored with her enough to forget that she even exists. And really, it’s probably in her best interests to get out of the spotlight.

The rest of the top ten, for those who simply have to know:

1. Kristen Stewart

2. Sarah Jessica Parker

3. Lindsay Lohan

4. Denise Richards

5. Kirsten Dunst

6. Mischa Barton

7. Hilary Swank

8. Lucy Liu

9. Tilda Swinton

10. Uma Thurman

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