Chris Brown Has a Jesus Complex: He’s Kidding, Right?

Photo via Instagram / Chris Brown

The story of Jesus has oft been referred to as the greatest story ever told… and Chris Brown seemingly wants a slice of that pie. After his weekend troubles, which included a high-profile fight with Frank Ocean, Brown took to a peaceful activity he possibly learned in anger management therapy: painting.

He tweeted the above photo and these words: “Painting the way I feel.”

No doubt, bro… no doubt. Never has another man had such a right to claim a parallel to the historical character of Jesus Christ. Based on actions alone, it’s obvious — and I don’t know how I’ve missed it all these years.

Jesus: “Women are equal.” Chris Brown: “Women (and Frank Ocean) are punching bags.”

Maybe it’s me, but when I think Jesus, I just don’t think “woman beater.” I don’t think of him possibly having a tattoo of a beaten woman on his neck… or telling people to say hello to his d*ck.

As you’re probably well aware, Chris Brown and Frank Ocean experienced a little scuffle on Sunday. According to Ocean, he was jumped by Brown and a couple of the woman beater’s cronies. According to the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department, Ocean experienced a cut on his hand during the melee and plans to press charges. For Brown, this alleged fight over a parking spot could serve as a probation violation. He may land in the clink, but he probably needs to land in a mental health-care facility for a complete psych evaluation.

If he doesn’t, the two fellas will meet again in early February at the Grammy Awards — they’re both nominated for Best Urban Contemporary Album.

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