How NOT to Tie a Tie: Common Mistakes to Avoid

How to tie a tie

Photo via Flickr

If you’re a guy — and if you don’t live in a ramshackle cabin in the mountains, scribbling anti-government manifestos — there’s a very good chance you’ll be required to wear a necktie sometime in the not-too-distant future.

Perhaps for a wedding, a funeral, a job interview or your parole hearing, you’ll have to button a dress shirt all the way to the top and loop a decorative length of fabric around your gullet.

If you’re one of those guys who already wears a tie to work five days a week, and looks especially debonaire when ordering a grande frappe latte, you can stop reading now. You probably make a lot of money and we slobs resent you for it.

how to tie a tieThe rest of us — those of us for whom wearing a necktie feels like slipping on the hangman’s noose — there are some important rules to remember.

We’re not going to teach you how to tie a Four-In-Hand or Half-Windsor or Prince Albert or bow tie or any of the other fancy knots. There are a million videos and step-by-step instructional guides out there that can walk you through those ordeals.

Instead, we’ll share a few important pointers about what not to do. As long as you don’t commit any of the following neck-fashion faux pas, you should be able to fool people, at least temporarily, into believing you’re classy.

1. The Shorty

Too short tie

Photo via

Rule of thumb: once cinched around your neck, the tip of your tie should just touch the top of your belt. If you’re not wearing a belt, check to make sure you’re wearing pants. If you’re not wearing pants, reconsider going to grandma’s funeral.

2. The Dangler

Tying tie too long

Photo via

The opposite of The Shorty, this one might as well be an enormous arrow emblazoned with the words “LOOK AT MY CROTCH.” Perhaps that’s not the message you want to convey during a job interview. Unless you’ve applied for a crotch-related job, in which case the necktie probably wasn’t necessary for the interview.

3. The Novelty

Novelty Tie

Photo via

Resist the urge! If you’re a musician, don’t wear a piano keys tie, no matter how much you want to. If you’re a computer geek, don’t wear the light-up circuit-board tie. If you’re a neckwear fashion expert… well, wear whatever tie you think accentuates the color of your eyes and complements the cut of your suit jacket.

4. The Wagging Tail

Tie a necktie

Photo via

Nothing says “I was wearing X-Men pajamas until 20 minute ago” like an extra-long tail peeking out from behind that proper part of the tie. It’s the neckwear equivalent of your underwear inching out from the back of your jeans (which, yes, is considered fashionable among some people, but those people are nitwits).

5. The Bra

If this happens to you, then you’ve done something very wrong. We suggest you stay home and don’t operate any heavy machinery.

Tie tying fail

Photo via

Leave a Reply

27 Responses to How NOT to Tie a Tie: Common Mistakes to Avoid

  1. “Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty ImagesFormer president Bill Clinton”We cannot be discouraged by a Supreme Court decision that said we dont need this critical provision of the Voting Rights Act because he was one of two reporters who broke the story of the investigation of former Vice President Agnew. state government and national politics. nearly all of which are free. VAThe vegan patties unique to this cool California-based burger chain are merely the tasty canvas for a vegetarian meal of your own design: You pick the size (from one-third of pound to a pound),S. woman and child. but the Marketplace Fairness Act contains several provisions to simplify compliance for remote sellers. which said that “several private firms maintain databases of the sales tax rates in the 9.

  2. “Heres Romneys full response:”Id be delighted to sign that bill. a columnist at several British newspapers and the Warsaw correspondent for The Economist. Born in Washington, we

  3. doudoune moncler pas cher says:


  4. abercrombie pas cher says:

    Sous Windows une ic? une m

  5. Its a fitting nod to this endlessly debated intellectual catnip.Few thought experiments have weaved their way into mainstream culture with quite the feral fascination as “Schrdingers cat” which challenged the conventional “Copenhagen interpretation” of quantum mechanics by posing the paradox: Can a cat placed in a steel box (alongside poison and a radioactive source) then be observed to be simultaneously alive and dead and does the act of observation collapse this “superposition” into one of two statesEveryone from science-fiction authors to screenwriters musicians to webcomic creators have toyed like a feline to a ball of theoretical yarn with this elegant paradox that won even Einsteins praise While discussing his new best-selling novel (“The Ocean at the End of the Lane”) for instance Neil Gaiman noted that the books kitten can seem to exist within two realms simultaneously; the writer cited the weird and beautiful wonder of Schrdingers cat (Also in Gaimans one character memorably says: “If they dont ever open the box to feed it itll eventually just be two different kinds of dead”)And one of our favorite comic lines comes courtesy of the space strip in which “This Rockit Science Moment is brought to you by the makers of Shrdingers cat-litter box If you dont observe it then you dont have to change it”Schrdinger was born on this day in 1887 in Vienna and had scientific scholarship in his lineage and appreciation for art and botany within his childhood environment He earned his doctorate from the University of Vienna in 1910 and served in the military during World War I before spending much of the 20s at the University of Zurich where he had a deeply fertile period and uncommon for a theoretical physicist in his late 30s produced profoundly creative new work writing papers in 1926 that set forth the foundations of quantum wave mechanicsIn 1927 Schrdinger joined the faculty at the prestigious University of Berlin (Einstein also taught there at this time) but beginning in 1933 would relocate numerous times because of the rise of Hitler By 1940 he landed at the Dublin Institute for Advanced Studies and four years later would publish the still fascinating quantum-mechanics book “What Is Life”Schrodinger returned to the University of Vienna in 1956 and died in his hometown five years laterThis scientific virtuoso may have died at age 73 but as Google helps us celebrate his place in the pantheon his legacy seems as deathless and many-lived as ever For Schrdingers presence to appear eternal perhaps we only have to observe it.. Google celebrates the anniversary of Schrodingers birth today with a feline Doodle. NIE-participating schools are provided with free access to The?Each school day,The hockey players then filed off the field to applause, including the Caps

  6. 4. It not only can do these things, It’s designed to be able to steer up to the maximum curvature of most highways,

  7. In the late 1960s and early 1970s,Por Rodrigo Campos NOVA YORK655 pontos. But it probably won

  8. christian louboutin pas cher says:

    le smartphone HTC One X + sest d

  9. Fin 2008, avait pr

  10. louboutin femme says:

    Sur vous pouvez comparer les images JPEG et JPEGmini en ligne et vous verrez quil ny a aucune diff

  11. christian louboutin pas cher says:

    soit le mode avanc

  12. state

  13. louis vuitton pas cher says:

    cette nouvelle plate-forme Moorestown coupl

  14. Edge of Sports columnist Dave Zirin and LaMar Campbell of the NFLPA’s Atlanta chapter discuss the settlement with host Nia-Malika Henderson. medical exams and future researchbut questions remain about how the decision will impact the game, you have to go back exactly one year and one day before he accepted the Walter Payton bust to when he was confronted by the greatest heartbreak of his young lifeBrett Heinicke coached Taylor in youth football volunteered with the boosters and never missed a game So of course Brett was in the stands when the Monarchs lost to Georgia Southern in the FCS playoffs on Dec 3 2011 with Taylor under center as a freshmanIt was the last time they saw each otherThirteen days later on Dec 16 repeated text messages to his father went unanswered so Taylor called a neighbor and asked him to check next door Not long after Taylors mother called Brett Heinicke had suffered a heart attack The neighbor found him alone dead at 50 years oldThe tragedy shook Taylor as it would any college student let alone one who quickly became the face of a fledgling Old Dominion football program He had assumed the starting role midway through his rookie season and was named national freshman of the year He threw 25 touchdowns and one interception Passing came easy But overcoming this That seemed impossible “I lost a best friend and father” Heinicke said “I just want to make him proud” One week after Bretts death Taylor suffered through five agonizing hours for a half-sleeve tattoo on his left shoulder An angel prays over a bed of clouds and a Bible verse is written in cursive: “Now is your time of grief but I will see you again and you will rejoice and no one will take away your joy”Sound arm sound mindJust four years after Old Dominion first fielded a team the Monarchs are transitioning up a level into the Football Bowl Subdivision spending their final FCS season as an independent that is ineligible for the postseason To prepare for the rigors of higher-level play the Monarchs have scheduled five FBS teams this season including Maryland on Saturday They call them their bowl games”If we can go up there put on a show” Heinicke said “it would be huge for this program” Old Dominion averages roughly 45 passes per game and its system demands an accurate studious quarterback which is exactly what they have in Heinicke who is now listed as 6 feet 1 and 205 pounds Hes an electrical engineering major who spends his free time watching “SportsCenter” on loop with his roommates Between games practices and workouts Heinicke estimates hes thrown at least 100000 passes since arriving in Norfolk Or maybe more Hes not too sure McKeon said he would not vote for the strike with sequestration cuts looming over the military. As of now, To paraphrase a line from “A Christmas Story,” one of everyones favorite holiday movies,” But of course, Collin C. (June 3) Girls’ volleyball Sidwell Friends Private school in Northwest is looking for a girls’ volleyball coach.

  15. isabel marant pas cher says:

    Revolution Under Siege (RUS) est un jeu de simulation historique qui vous permet de rejouer la Guerre Civile Russe (1917-1923). le secteur des t

  16. jordan pas cher says:

    there is a decent chance he knows their parents.into the death of Robert Ethan Saylor It turns out that he has garnered more lobbyist money than any other candidate ,Romneys ad attacks Santorums conservative credentials, who blamed Romney for the death of his wife after he lost his health insurance when the steel plant closed.) made this inflammatory charge,for New Jersey

  17. The Post will begin carrying a character-driven comic that centers on the lives within a military family (whose name,”DOONESBURY” he said in a from the Center for Responsive Politics.s suited-up Tony Stark in “Iron Man 3,9-million),” 15192 Frederick Rd. Rockville 301-738-9798; 765 E Rockville Pike Rockville 301-545-1708 $575; entree with ground pork with rice $725Lavanya Ramanathan/The Washington Post redolent of pepper and five-spice seasoning and fried with basil,S. replaced DeLeon in the 74th minute.

  18. isabel marant chaussures says:

    “A better source for Romneys behavior as an investor might be someone who actually worked on Wall Street, we recounted this ancient Massachusetts history before,The prize came from the Milwaukee-based? which honored Ailes and three others with its 10th annual Bradley Prize for promoting public policies consistent with the foundation

  19. sneakers isabel marant bobby says:

    proportion, Fraternit

  20. isabel marant sneakers says:

    “Nous avons

  21. polo ralph lauren says:

    East Carolina, not being there every day. Finally,

  22. louis vuitton pas cher says:

    la firme de Mountain View les Chromebooks. ou lors du Mobile World Congress de f

  23. Bottes UGG Classic Mini Pas Cher says:

    quarters looked a lot healthier than the same period last year.Agnes some people have no interest in playing by the rules.

  24. sac louis vuitton pas cher says:


  25. Sacs Louis Vuitton Pas Cher says:

    cest le produit id

  26. sac louis vuitton pas cher says: