The distillation of vodka is a centuries-old Russian tradition dating back as far as the ninth century.
The distiller’s art has been passed down through generations, and has finally been truly mastered by a seven-foot-one-inch retired basketball player from Newark.
Shaq is making vodka now.
Or, more accurately, he is lending his name to a gluten-free, sugar-free line of vodka called Luv Shaq. Isn’t that just adorable? It’s almost as catchy as Shaq-Fu, the name of a 1994 video game made at the peak of his stardom, which has the dubious distinction of being one of the most hated games of all time. (YouTube is loaded with clips of people “liberating the world” of Shaq Fu cartridges in violently creative ways.)
The bottle containing Shaq’s new booze, which should hit shelves in early 2013, bears the image of Shaq with a giant pair of wings (note: if you see a winged Shaq while drinking the spirit, you’ve had too much and you should go to bed).
Shaq’s new booze is reportedly intended to be a direct, and slightly cheaper, competitor to Ciroc, the fancypants vodka endorsed by Sean “Diddy” Coombs.
By lending his name to a vodka that is sugar-free and gluten-free, Shaq has demonstrated a deep concern for the health and wellness of consumers who choose to pummel their livers with vodka. Now that’s luv, Shaq.