Apocalypse? Keep Calm and Carry On, Say British Authorities

mayan apocalypse

Photo via i09.com

Even the impending apocalypse apparently doesn’t bother the unflappable British.

With the dry, sardonic wit that has become a British trademark, emergency preparedness experts in the UK have issued tongue-in-cheek advice about coping with the End of Days supposedly foretold by the Mayans.

“Fit a smoke alarm on each level of your home,” suggested a spokesman of the London Fire Brigade. That way, he added, “you might stand a chance of knowing that the end of the world is nigh ahead of those who don’t. If you survive the apocalypse you’ll be alerted to a fire more quickly should one ever break out.”

It’s perfectly reasonable, perfectly sensible, perfectly British advice. Don’t build a fortified survival bunker equipped with canned goods, a zombie brain-stabber and semiautomatic weaponry like those alarmist Yanks. Just make sure you’ve got a couple of nine-volt batteries handy in case the smoke alarm starts to chirp.

Other British authorities have followed suit with similarly common sense advice. Should the End of Days be upon us, the U.K.’s Automotive Association suggests you should “try to remain focused on the road ahead and keep your hands on the wheel.”

Even the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals got in on the Apocalyptic soothsaying: “Should the Mayans prove to be right, our message would be to spend whatever time you have left with your animals wisely. Take them for a long walk or give them a cuddle.”

Plenty of Americans, meanwhile, did stuff like this:

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