After Movember, How About Neckbeardruary? (PHOTOS)

Now that there’s barely a week left in the month-long global hairification of upper lips known as Movember, it’s time to turn our minds toward the next charitable lapse in male grooming.

neck beard

The World of Warcraft master neckbeard. Photo via Reddit.

Since a big part of Movember’s success hinges on the fact that most men (Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds aside) look off-puttingly skeezy with moustaches, the key to a successful follow-up campaign is enhanced skeeziness.

The perfect candidate: the neckbeard.

If the moustache says “I have aspirations to be a Boston cop or a 1970s porn star,” the neckbeard replies: “Oh yeah? Well I have no aspirations at all.”

With a few notable exceptions throughout history — Abraham Lincoln, for instance — men who have sported a full-on neckbeard have been subjected to female revulsion and chronic neck itch.

Surely growing a neckbeard for a month would be a gesture of self-sacrifice worthy of charitable fundraising for some good cause or another. So we propose Neckbeardruary, which will give Movember participants enough time to attain forgiveness from their girlfriends/wives before plunging back into the a month of scraggly unpleasantness.

For inspiration, we present some truly tremendous/horrendous neckbeards, past and present.

1. The Composer

Neckbeard photos

Richard Wagner, opera composer and neckbeard pioneer. Photo via Wikimedia Commons.

2. The Classicist

Neckbeard Pictures

Emperor Nero, heir to Claudius, hair to neck. Photo via Wikimedia Commons.

3. The High-Flyer

Neckbeards provide valuable wind resistance. Photo via Reddit.

4. The Creep

Neckbeard pictures

“Not participating in Neckbeardruary? I’m judging you.” Photo via Reddit.

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One Response to After Movember, How About Neckbeardruary? (PHOTOS)

  1. No! Please no! I can handle the skeezy ‘staches for a good cause. But the neck beard? You go too far, sir.

    P.S. Creepy dude really is creepy.