Are Your Pubes Holding You Back?

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As humans, we just love creating new problems for ourselves. Fifty years ago, the state of an individual’s pubic region was a non-issue. Everyone let nature run its course and was happier for it. Then, some genius realized that you could shave that hair off and create a whole new aesthetic. Suddenly, it became the cool thing to do — literally and figuratively.

Today, it’s almost commonplace for women to go hairless down below. It’s a bit of a different story for guys, though. Some dudes swear by the hairless look, insisting it’s more hygienic. Other guys see pube grooming as emasculating.

Either way, people feel really strongly about this issue. Debates on pube maintenance can reach a level of vitriol akin to today’s fiercest arguments: iPhone vs. Android, Israel vs. Palestine, cut vs. uncut.

As in all partisan issues, those arguing for either extreme are typically idiots. The best policy, as Aristotle taught us (though not specifically in reference to pubes) falls roughly halfway between two extremes. In the case of your short-and-curlies, that means regular trimming. It means strategically shaving some areas (read: balls, taint), but stopping well short of complete deforestation. It doesn’t mean waxing, but it also doesn’t mean “I’ll do it next month.”

Let’s weigh the pros and cons. I think you’ll agree that the correct answer becomes pretty clear.

Wild and Free

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Advantages: No maintenance required; extra warmth in the cold winter months.

Disadvantages: Gigantic bundle of sweat and stink the rest of the year; makes your penis look smaller (or even disappear entirely).



Clean as a Whistle

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Advantages: Makes your penis look bigger; makes you feel like a porn star; seems more hygienic (even if it actually isn’t).

Disadvantages: Without hair to wick sweat away from the skin, you run the risk of developing the condition known as “slimy sack”; requires constant maintenance; razor burn; knicks and cuts; horrible itch; makes you look like a pre-teen boy.

Neat and Trimmed

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Advantages: Only requires semi-regular maintenance; minimal sweat and stink; makes your penis look bigger without the risk of cuts or razor burn; according to these informal polls, it’s the look preferred by most women.

Disadvantages: Still requires semi-regular maintenance; easy to lose control of the situation and return to a “wild and free” state.






Okay, so we’ve basically established that trimmed pubes are the way do go. But what’s the best way to go about beating back the bush, so to speak? You definitely don’t want to attack the area with scissors. Way, way too much chance of a bloody catastrophe — literally.

Get yourself a body groomer like this one by Philips Norelco or this one by Remington. There are a bunch of them on the market and they’ll all do the trick. Spending a bit more will get you one with a few more settings (great for those looking to trim back to a very specific length) and a longer lifespan, but there’s no need to spend more than about $50.

When it comes to shaving your balls, it should go without saying that it’s a good idea to use a different razor for your balls than the one you use for your face — especially if you’re the kind of person who’s likely to graduate from ball shaving to taint and ass shaving. Just buy a package of single-blade disposable razors. You can leave one in the shower and get two or three uses out of it before you toss it. No need to spend money on multi-blade cartridges for your balls and you definitely don’t want to use a double-edge razor like we recommend using for your face.

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