Five Arguments You Don’t Need To Have While Driving


The road is a dangerous place, and far too often we find ourselves in arguments while at the wheel. What can you do to make your driving experience better for everyone? Here are five arguments that you absolutely do not need to have while driving.

“We will stop for gas when I’m done with this episode of Mad Men.”

You’re cruising down the highway and streaming Don Draper on Netflix. This is not a good idea, especially if others are in the car with you. Let me re-phrase: It is never a good idea to drive and stream your favorite television show at the same time. Leave the iPad on the driver’s seat, or keep it in the trunk. The small compact screen of the iPhone is tempting, but just focus on the road.

“Bullshit, I can drive like that.”

For the first time in weeks your girlfriend allowed you to see something other than a chick-flick. Your testosterone is high after watching characters blow shit up and cruise around the streets. One has to keep the lady happy, but just remember that a movie is not real life. When your girlfriend laughs after you boast about your driving skills, just put on some Al Green and keep her laughing.

“Can you hand me the flask?”

Do I need to explain this one? Drinking and driving is not cool. It’s on your if you want to have a cold beer while driving on the dirts roads of the country by yourself, but don’t put your passengers in danger. If your girl refuses to hand over the flask then you might have a good one. If she pulls out her own, then you both have problems. Don’t be an asshole like the Jason Sudeikis character on Saturday Night Live. Put the flask away.

“No, you’re not giving me a headache. I don’t have my contacts on.”

Problems can arise during a long trip on the road, but the minor squabbles can usually be talked out. Sometimes it takes a long, awkward silence for the parties involved to see clearly. Car fights are bad enough, but don’t get yourself caught in a situation were you find yourself arguing about why you literally can see nothing because you don’t have your contacts or glasses on. You lose that argument.

“Just let the damn dog drive for a little bit.”

Everybody enjoys having the family pup in the car. He or she puts their head out the window and enjoys the fresh air as other motorists pass by and laugh. You may occasionally see people on the road who like to have their dog directly on their lap and maybe even driving. If you happen to be one of these dog-driving enablers and your passengers are scared shitless, then take note of their screams and gently remove the dog from your lap.

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