Sports-themed tattoos are always a risky proposition. Teams change logos (and home cities), players change teams and even fans sometimes change allegiances. Though there are certainly many die-hard fans out there who are tastefully tatted up with their team’s insignia, there are plenty who probably regret that one time they got blind drunk and swore their undying love for a disposable player on a one-year contract.
Below, we run down the worst of the worst sports tattoos.
I’m all for affirmative action, but are blind tattoo artists a good idea?
I’ll concede the original Pat Patriot logo is a little more detailed than most streamlined, modern sports logos, but even a young child armed with crayons could produce a more accurate replica than this. Is he supposed to be a zombie? Why does it look like he has horse legs?
The Pittsburgh Steelers have one of the most basic logos in all of sports. It’s literally just a circle, three diamonds and the word Steelers in a sans-serif font. Impossible to screw that up, right? Wrong. Go Stee ers.
The artist responsible for this monstrosity thinks the name “baseball” is misleading; it should really be called “base-egg.”
Stop the bandwagon, I want to get off
The New York Knicks will never let Jeremy Lin go!
The Denver Broncos will never let Tim Tebow go!
At least this ill-advised Tebow tattoo doesn’t tie to him to the Broncos or any other team. It does tie this poor sap to a lifetime of shirts at the beach, though.
Do you think that might be a little inappropriate?
So… you like the Packers. And you like how they have sex with the Cowboys players. And you like looking at the muscle-bound players have sex. While whistling. Hey — I’m just trying to understand where you’re coming from here.
I get that Bears quarterback Jim McMahon was an easy guy to hate, but does he really deserve to get lynched? And by Troy Aikman, of all people?!
You know, considering how bitter this rivalry is, this tattoo is actually kind of tame.
Butt I love my tattoo just how it is
Dirk Nowitzki’s a very good and perhaps even great player. But is he really the guy you want emblazoned on your ass cheek for the rest of time?
If you had to have two siblings inscribed on your buttocks in a creepy, cartoonish style, you couldn’t pick two nicer guys than Peyton and Eli Manning.
I don’t even…
A little premature, don’t you think?
The St. Louis Cardinals won the 2011 World Series, defeating the Texas Rangers 4-3 in their best-of-seven series.
The New York Giants won Super Bowl XLVI. The Houston Texans lost to the Baltimore Ravens in the divisional round.
Why? Just… why?
This dude didn’t permanently commemorate the Detroit Lions’ 0-16 2008 season on his chest because he lost a bet — he did it voluntarily. He said he wants it to be a reminder of the bad times and he plans to add “Super Bowl Champions” underneath it when the Lions win the big one. He’s still waiting.
As far as Shaq tattoos go, this one is actually pretty good. It does look a lot like The Diesel. Where it gets weird is down as the bottom. This isn’t a tattoo of four-time NBA champion Shaq, this is a tattoo of Shaq in the movie Kazaam — quite possibly the worst film to feature an athlete in a starring role ever (which is really, really saying something).