In the continued adventures of Florida Man, this tale doesn’t quite stack up with some of the others in terms of sheer ridiculousness. There are no swords, enemas or donkeys. Heck, there isn’t even a stolen driveway.
This story does have farts in it, though, so it’s still pretty funny.
Well, it has one fart, at least. But it was a crucial fart — a fart that instigated the whole story.
You see, Florida Man and his girlfriend were watching television and discussing their finances. As many conversations about money do, this one got a bit heated.
Then the room got even more heated, literally, thanks to the pungent gas Florida Man forcefully ejected from his anus as he stood up to go to the kitchen.
According to Florida Man’s girlfriend, the fart hit her right in the face. As you can imagine, she wasn’t too happy about this.
Then, as you probably can’t imagine, because you’re a sane human being, Florida Man and his girlfriend allegedly tried to kill each other.
First, Florida Man threw a knife at his girlfriend. It missed. Then, she picked it up and threw it back at him. It lodged in his belly.
When the cops arrived, Florida Man was reportedly so drunk that he couldn’t even give them a report about what happened.
The girlfriend remains in custody on a $50,000 bond.
Until next time… same Florida time, same Florida channel.