Is this the worst first pitch in baseball history?
Yep. I think we can pretty conclusively say that it is, indeed, the worst first pitch in baseball history. Great work, everyone. Let’s tidy up and head home for the weekend.
What’s that? We need to hit a minimim word count on this article? Crap.
Okay, let’s take a closer look at exactly what we just saw.
Does the guy do a weird, toe-tapping hop as he walks out to the mound? Yep. Does he insist the stadium announcer say “fear the hat” for some reason? He sure does. Does he throw the ball straight into the ground? You better believe it. Does he then intentionally — and supremely awkwardly — fall onto the ground, as if doing so will somehow distract from the brick he just tossed? Why yes, he does. Can the stadium announcer then be heard muttering “ohhhh” over the public address system, while the 100 or so fans in attendance laugh uproariously? Uh huh.
It’s a video that really checks all the boxes, to use a tired sports cliche. We don’t need to do any more digging than that. This isn’t one for the pundits to debate on ESPN. This is definitely the worst opening pitch of all time.
Is that enough words? Yes? Great. Have a great weekend, everybody.