If you’ve paid any attention to World Wrestling Entertainment over the past 18 years or so, you’re probably familiar with Kane.
If not, here’s a brief biographical sketch:
- Was burned horribly in childhood during a fire at his parents’ funeral home, which was allegedly set by his half-brother, The Undertaker
- Wore a mask to hide his hideously scarred face; debuted by ripping the door off a steel cage to attack The Undertaker during a 1997 match
- Did not speak for many years, then later used an electrolarynx voice synthesizer to communicate; now, inexplicably, speaks just fine
- Once set fire to interviewer Jim Ross
- Removed his mask a dozen years ago, revealing a perplexing lack of burn scars
- May or may not have had sex with the corpse of a girl named Katie Vick
- Kidnapped and impregnated Lita
- Entered therapy, won tag titles
Here are a couple of things you might not know about Kane:
1. Today is his 46th birthday
2. He’s really, really smart
More specifically, the guy who portrays Kane — a 323-pound behemoth, just shy of seven feet tall, named Glenn Jacobs – is really smart.
There’s a strong case to be made that he’s the smartest man in professional wrestling (which, in fairness, is a title akin to being the funniest man on death row).
For starters, he once won an episode of The Weakest Link:
Winning a trivia game show, mind you, is not the ultimate measure of intelligence.
But Kane is also an astute observer of American politics and an avowed libertarian who writes insightful, well-crafted screeds on his blog, Adventures of Citizen X. Here’s an excerpt:
Essentially all of the more developed or Westernized countries have large governments that offer extensive social services, as well as very large military budgets, an extensive bureaucracy to pay and provide for, etcetera. And for these countries a deficit is the norm rather than the exception; taxes may be high, especially in European nations, but extensive spending generally overloads incoming funds.
Yep, the giant weirdo in the mask wrote that.
Need more proof? Check out the video below from a speech he delivered at a 2009 libertarian convention. Within the first few minutes, he mentions “teraflops of processing power,” hormonal influence over physiology and the mysteries of cognition.
The whole speech is an hour long, though, so you might just want to watch him set fire to Jim Ross instead.