Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli sure doesn’t know much about having a good time. Thankfully, the United States Court of Appeals for the Fourth Court totally knows how to party.
Cuccinelli attempted to petition the court to reinstate Virginia’s ridiculously outdated “Crimes against Nature” law, which makes all oral and anal sex illegal in the state, but he was solidly rejected.
Oral sex it up, Virgina! It’s still totally legal. And it’s still totally awesome.
As for poor Ken, well, it looks like like his neighbors are gonna get to keep pleasuring each other in ways beyond the missionary position (with the goal of procreation, of course) for as long as he’s in power and beyond. How will he possibly live with himself? He’ll be so uptight. If only there were some way his wife could help him relax…
Cuccinelli was very clearly targeting homosexuals with his petition. The Fourth Court saw right through what he was proposing and unanimously shot it down immediately — as they should have. The U.S. Supreme Court ended the nation’s anti-sodomy (and, ostensibly, anti-gay-sex) laws back in 2003 (Lawrence v. Texas) and it would be insane, as well as unconstitutional, to go back on that now — especially as support for gay rights is at an all-time high.
Laughably, Cuccinelli would have probably succeeded in making sex with minors illegal in Virginia if he hadn’t tacked on all the homophobic stuff to his petition. But nope, he had to go and try to take away everyone’s fun.
Whether or not you live in Virginia, this ruling calls for a celebration. A sexy celebration.