Men like tough stuff, right?
Beef jerky, stuff blowing up, quarterbacks getting flattened — that kind of stuff.
A cozy, snuggly pair of PJs doesn’t exactly fit with the image.
But admit it: at the end of the day, after you’re finished doing manly things like chopping wood and belching, all you really want is to sleep as snug as a bug in a rug.
To help you out, we’ve found seven pajama sets and assorted cozy things that will help you drift into dreamland without reducing your testosterone.
7. The Camouflage Onesie
For the outdoorsman who wants to be invisible to large game and/or enemy soldiers, even while he sleeps, these PJs allow you to perfectly blend into your surroundings. If, that is, your bedroom is full of foliage, dirt and underbrush.
6. Pajama Jeans
For the blue collar man who believes denim is the only acceptable attire for any occasion, there’s Pajama Jeans, which offer the comfort of fleece and the (questionable) fashion appeal of acid-washed Levi’s. Unlike women’s Pajama Jeans, which are being pitched in infomercials as an acceptable piece of outerwear (which they’re not), these ones are not meant to substitute for actual jeans.
5. The Batman Not-A-Snuggie
Not pajamas per se, but the next best thing. Swaddling oneself in a Snuggie (or knockoff blanket with arms) is usually one of the least manly things you could do. But when it is bedecked with Batman’s sculpted abs and codpiece, you’re suddenly an awesome caped crusader — except the cape is in the front, not the back. Also comes in Spider-Man.
4. The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Onesie
Granted, this might not seem, at first glance, like the manliest sleepwear. But remember: the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man is actually the physical manifestation of the demonic deity Gozer the Gozerian, destructor of Sumeria. So that’s pretty awesome.
3. The Hoodie Onesie
The hoodie has become the unofficial uniform of the post-millennial generation. In practically any social situation (except job interviews, weddings and funerals), a hoodie is a safe bet. A hoodie says: “I’m vaguely fashion conscious, but also unpretentious, and sometimes my head gets cold.” Added bonus with the PJs: your feet won’t get cold.
2. Jedi Bathrobe
Again, not exactly pajamas, but still super-comfy inner wear that will make you never want to leave the house. Plenty of bathrobes will keep you cozy and warm, but only this one will allow you to infiltrate Jabba’s palace to rescue Han from his carbonite prison.
1. Suit Pajamas
As made famous on How I Met Your Mother, these suave silk jammies give you all the swagger of a debonaire movie star, but all the warm comfort of a swaddled newborn. Although these are jammies are pretty high-maintenance — there’s a tie, for starters, and the whole set must be hand-washed in cold water — you can bet your lady will enjoy removing them from your body in a manner that will be worth the extra effort.