Science is really dragging its heels on the whole jetpack thing.
The world’s poindexters have decoded the human genome, listened to the echo of the big bang and pretty much perfected brew-by-the-cup coffee technology.
But we still don’t have decent jetpacks.
Some advances are being made — particularly in the water jetpack field, which is kind of cheating — but there are many kinks yet to be ironed out of the technology.
Until scientists stop lollygagging and come up with a proper jetpack, foolhardy souls will continue to try (and fail) to fly with these imperfect prototypes.
For now, the rest of us can merely learn from their mistakes.
Rule #1: Don’t try out a jetpack on live national television
Rule #2: Jetpacking is not an ideal backyard hobby. Try badminton instead.
Rule #3: If someone tells you to go “no hands” while jetpacking, ignore them.
Rule #4: Until jetpacks are perfected, you might want to avoid the even-more-perilous “flyboard”
Rule #5: Don’t try to build your own jetpack.
The assembly instructions are probably going to be in Chinese.
Rule #6: See rule #5
The Japanese assembly instructions aren’t much better.