The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences should probably skip the formalities and hand out a shiny new Oscar right now, because Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies has finally been made.
From the trailer alone, we can see that the Oscar choices are obvious:
Best Actor: Shane Douglas, for his spot-on portrayal of Shane Douglas, a down-on-his luck former ECW Champion who is struggling make ends meet. Sorry, Mickey Rourke, but you’ve been upstaged.
Best Actress: The well-boobed woman pictured at right.
Best Supporting Actor: “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, who swings his trusty two-by-four with the grace and gravity of Charlton Heston wielding Moses’ staff in The Ten Commandments.
Best Director: Cody Knotts, whose previous film, The Breeding Farm, was critically acclaimed for its depiction of teens locked in a cellar and forced to hump.
Best Screenplay: Cody Knotts, for scripting the emotionally powerful dialogue, such as Kurt Angle’s soul-searching rhetorical question after twisting off a zombie’s foot with his patented ankle-lock: “What the hell?!”
If you only see one horror film pitting zombies against wrestlers this year, make it this one.