Quagmire, the perpetually horny neighbor on Family Guy, merely has to push a button to instantly transform his bachelor pad into a plush, softly lit den of giggity-giggity.
Chances are that you, as a real human being, don’t have such technological tools of seduction at your fingertips.
Not yet, anyway.
But the creative gurus at Instructables have come up with a pair of high-tech jeans that could take the guesswork out of getting your gal in the giggity mood.
Romance Pants automatically adjust the lighting of a room and the volume of music on the stereo as they’re unzipped.
So at that special moment when making out veers closer toward making love, the room becomes bathed in flickering candlelight and Barry White crescendos to the chorus of “I believe in miracles!” If you’re listening to Anthrax, mind you, the effect will be inversely unromantic.
Romance Pants are wired with conductive thread and resisters that connect the movement of the zipper to electronic gadgetry around you, so they conceivably could be used to fire up a vibrating bed or cue a nearby camera to switch on.
A word of warning: don’t get too excited too prematurely. You wouldn’t want to short-circuit the wiring.