Wisconsin has nude beaches!?
Seriously, I was thinking the same thing. Then I really started thinking about the settlement of Wisconsin — the state’s history and the nationality of the early settlers. It only makes sense that Wisconsin has nude beaches.
Where else would you wanna get nude around a bunch of people in public? It seems rather obvious that you’d want to strip down (and see others strip down) in a place where sausage and cheese are their own food groups. Seriously. Imagine that symbolic, dietary potential matched with naked people. It seems it would be an awesome, freshwater whale watching adventure.
Now, on to the actual story.
There is a popular nude beach on the Wisconsin River located about 25 miles north of the Madison, in the liberal Dane County. In Dane County, authorities really don’t care about people showing skin.
Unfortunately, the nakedness of this nude beach has apparently led to some illegal behavior. Locals and law enforcement officials are not thrilled about the absurd amount of sexual acts on public lands, within the river and on sand bars, as well as the gross amounts of drug use taking place on a near daily basis.
This is shocking, isn’t it? A bunch of naked people resorting to sex and drugs? Next thing we know, we’ll learn that they’re also listening to rock ‘n’ roll music.
In order to put a stop to such debauchery, the beach has been shut down… but only on weekdays!
You can still get your Wisconsin sausage, cheese, beer and nudity fix when the weekend rolls around. And who knows, in good ole liberal Dane County, they might even turn a blind eye to drugs and sex between Friday and Sunday.