Welcome to a new era of breakfast, fellas.
At least that’s what one brewery in Scotland — where else? — would have us believe.
Black Isle Brewery, just a quick jaunt up the road from Loch Ness, is positioning its ironically named Cold Turkey brew as a “Breakfast Beer.” They’re presumably working on a lunch lager called Relapse.
What, aside from raging alcoholism, would compel someone to guzzle beer for breakfast? The hoppy highlanders at Black Isle actually make a pretty compelling case for their breakfast brew:
Using oats, barley and wheat in the brew it has all the malty taste of multigrain cereal, a refreshing grapefruit flavour coming through from the hops gives it a fruity character, and to finish it off the heavy roasted barley gives a subtle coffee edge to the overall taste to this all day breakfast in a pint.
When they phrase it like that, it kind of makes sense. Except, of course, for the question of alcohol. Early-morning grogginess is disorienting enough without the brain-fogging effects of booze, right?
The Black Isle lads thought of that, too. Cold Turkey has a particularly low alcohol content — 2.8 percent by volume — which means a single glass would give you no worse a buzz than the magically delirious sugar rush of frosted Lucky Charms.
So although a breakfast beer sounds at first like a hitting-rock-bottom milestone, Black Isle has managed to brew a bevvy that sounds like a relatively innocent and appetizing eye-opener.
It won’t do you much good, however, on those exceptionally tough mornings when all you want is a nice tall glass of vodka.