In the savannah of Zimbabwe, it seems “safe sex” is a relative term.
When a pair of lovers snuck away for a romp in the African bush this week, they wisely used a condom (take that, former Pope).
Condoms, however, are apparently no match for vicious lions.
A woman named Sharai Mawera reportedly died yesterday after being attacked and mauled by a stealthy rogue lion.
Her unnamed boyfriend managed to flee, completely naked except for a thin layer of strategically placed latex.
According to Zimbabwe’s state-run newspaper, The Herald, police believe the lion didn’t attack the couple out of hunger, because it didn’t eat the woman after mauling her.
This led police to speculate it was the same well-fed lion responsible for attacking and eating a man who was walking home from a nearby nightclub several evenings earlier.
So it would seem that a rogue lion is prowling the area for nightclub patrons and people having el fresco sex (which are often the same demographic).
Until the beast is caught, residents of northern Zimbabwe might be wise to stick with online dating and old-fashioned bedroom sex.