Chilled to the Boner: Drunkard Has Wild Sex With Snowman

Photoa via The Buzz

Poor Kenneth Guillespie. It seems like he’s got a pretty serious alcohol problem. His misfortune is our entertainment, though.

The Englishman, hailing from Blackburn, was reportedly tending to his usual daily business (getting drunk), when he decided to take the party outside. He found a drinking buddy in the form of a five foot tall, portly and pale snowman. After hammering several beers… then several more, Guillespie got a little randy, and allegedly made his move on the snowman.

In all fairness to the snowman, everyone is merely assuming that it was a man. No genitalia was evident, so perhaps the snowperson was hermaphroditic, or actually a snowwoman. Regardless of the sex of the snowman, he/she was apparently a willing participant in the sexual encounter.

Sure, sex with strangers can often lead to a penis that burns with the heat of Hades, but this sexual partner left Guillespie with a severe case of frostbite. So much so, he was found writhing in a heap of pain, pleading for medical help. The empty bottles led paramedic professionals to quickly summarize the evening’s activities. And then to laugh, probably.

When Guillespie¬†was initially treated at a local hospital, medical professionals thought his penis might require amputation. But, after thawing, it seems the skin should recover. Let’s hope this second lease on his penis will encourage Guillespie to lay off the sauce.

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One Response to Chilled to the Boner: Drunkard Has Wild Sex With Snowman

  1. Charlotte Hannah
    Charlotte Hannah says:

    Oooooh god. As a person who once got frostnip (frostbite’s nerdy kid brother), I cannot even imagine. Poor guy.

    But also, lol.