The term “heavy metal” is supposed to be a metaphor, but someone seems to have taken it literally.
Introducing Compressorhead, the world’s first all-robot rock band — and surely the kind of thing countless adolescent boys have daydreamed about for decades.
Dubbed “The World’s Heaviest Metal Band,” Compressorhead’s current line-up includes:
- Fingers (Lead Guitar), who possesses the unique advantage over his human counterparts of having 78 hydraulically actuated digits. Also wears cowboy boots.
- Stickboy (drums), who pounds a 14-piece Pearl drum kit with his four arms and two bass-drum kickers. Metallica’s Lars Ulrich, by comparison, has a measly two arms.
- Bones (bass), who rocks the four-string with like Motohead’s Lemmy, but gazes at the world through an adorable pair of robotic peepers that resemble Wall-E. Just think of him as Lemm-E.
The band is actually not bad, owing to the fact that they don’t drink, do drugs or think independently.
But, like many other pampered rock pigs, they do have a pretty demanding tour rider: three liters of engine oil, three bags of assorted nuts and six human “meatbags” for assembly. On the plus side: they don’t need stage monitors to hear themselves, since they’re incapable of hearing.
Pray they don’t become sentient.