What Not to Post on Facebook: Drunk Driving Confession

Drinking and driving is stupid.

It’s not surprising, therefore, that stupid people drink and drive.

Stupid people do other stupid things, too, which makes them perfect targets for much-deserved mockery and public shaming.

Example: in the wee hours New Year’s Day, an 18-year-old idiot from Oregon named Jacob Cox-Brown posted the following stupid status update to Facebook:

Drinking driving facebook

Photo via kgw.com

In a mere 12 words (and two stupid emoticons), Cox-Brown admitted to both drunk driving and a hit-and-run. Moments later, he probably passed out while hugging the toilet in his parents’ basement, though this is mere speculation.

Facebook fail

Photo via kgw.com

While Cox-Brown slumbered and presumably peed himself, several of his Facebook friends told police about the status update. Remember, friends don’t let friends — even Facebook “friends” — drive drunk.

Local police, who had noticed a couple of banged up cars that night, paid a visit to Cox-Brown’s house, where they found a battered car with damage corresponding to what they saw on the other vehicles.

Cox-Brown was arrested and was forced to spend his first night of 2013 in jail.

Is he guilty? Technically, no. A Facebook post isn’t sufficient evidence to charge anyone with drunk driving.

Is he a moron? Provided that he actually wrote that Facebook status, indubitably!

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