Drinking and driving is stupid.
It’s not surprising, therefore, that stupid people drink and drive.
Stupid people do other stupid things, too, which makes them perfect targets for much-deserved mockery and public shaming.
Example: in the wee hours New Year’s Day, an 18-year-old idiot from Oregon named Jacob Cox-Brown posted the following stupid status update to Facebook:
In a mere 12 words (and two stupid emoticons), Cox-Brown admitted to both drunk driving and a hit-and-run. Moments later, he probably passed out while hugging the toilet in his parents’ basement, though this is mere speculation.
While Cox-Brown slumbered and presumably peed himself, several of his Facebook friends told police about the status update. Remember, friends don’t let friends — even Facebook “friends” — drive drunk.
Local police, who had noticed a couple of banged up cars that night, paid a visit to Cox-Brown’s house, where they found a battered car with damage corresponding to what they saw on the other vehicles.
Cox-Brown was arrested and was forced to spend his first night of 2013 in jail.
Is he guilty? Technically, no. A Facebook post isn’t sufficient evidence to charge anyone with drunk driving.
Is he a moron? Provided that he actually wrote that Facebook status, indubitably!