Dear Baby Jesus:
On behalf of the entire human race, we humbly apologize for the irresponsible actions of two celebrities who have made a mockery of the joyous holiday intended to celebrate your birth.
Rest assured, Baby Jesus, that we, the rest of humanity, neither endorse nor enjoy the saccharine yuletide abomination foisted upon the Internet yesterday by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John. Our collective disapproval of this cheese-slathered blasphemy is clearly evident by the many “dislikes” on YouTube, which vastly outnumber the “likes,” and by the barrage of negative comments such as this one:
Please understand, Baby Jesus, that this video was intended to be harmless and cute — a holly-jolly ode to Grease, a movie in which Travolta and Newton-John starred roughly 1,978 years after you were born. And their new Christmas album is a charity fundraiser, which somewhat absolves them (and the rest of us) from eternal damnation, right?
We sincerely hope this video isn’t a deal-breaker that will hasten Judgement Day, but we’ll understand if that’s your decision.
Please keep in mind that we will work tirelessly to prevent such an abomination from happening in the name of Christmas ever again.
And if you see Santa, please apologize on our behalf.
The People of Earth