Or, more accurately, that’s what Yoko Ono thought back in 1969.
The artist and wife of John Lennon (who maybe didn’t but probably did break up The Beatles) gave her late husband a series of fashion sketches she made as a wedding gift back in 1969. Now, for some reason, Opening Ceremony (the ultra-hip boutique with stores in New York, Los Angeles, Tokyo and London) has decided to make take those sketches and turn them into real clothing.
The result is equals parts mystifying and horrifying. It conjures memories of “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” — the Simpsons episode where Homer designs an abomination of a car, “The Homer“.
“[Ono] really wanted to celebrate every part that she loved about [Lennon],” Opening Ceremony co-founder Humberto Leon told The Daily Beast. “She’s an amazing artist, I think these pieces really reflect her.”
Following a quick look at the collection, it becomes very clear that the parts of Lennon Ono most loved were underneath his underwear. There’s a pair of pants with a transparent window in the rear, another pair of pants with handprint designs on the crotch and even some codpieces that light up.
If crotch-focused fashion isn’t really your thing, how about a bandeau top with nipple lights? No? Knee-high boots that burn incense at the toes?
When the promotional video for your fashion line opens with a pair of jiggling balls, you know it’s gonna be good (note: video is kinda NSFW):