Parents Name Baby ‘Hashtag,’ Condemning Her to a Lifetime of Shame

It seems the parent(s?) of a newborn baby girl decided to give her one of the most ridiculous names imaginable: Hashtag.

If this Facebook screengrab is legit, it depicts baby Hashtag dozing the morning after her birth, blissfully unaware of the shame and belittlement that await her.

In the pantheon of stupid baby names, Hashtag may not take the cake (we humbly submit Pilot Inspektor, the actual name of actor Jason Lee‘s daughter, for that dishonor), but it’s a terrible choice on many levels.

For starters, Twitter may well be replaced by some other social media phenom by the time the kid is old enough to utter her own name, rendering the term “hashtag” mostly meaningless. Also, it will surely be shortened by her friends to Hash, which poses its own problems.

When you look carefully at the screenshot, it provides helpful clues as to why the child might have been saddled with such a preposterous name, and the subsequent decades of bullying she will almost certainly endure.

Exhibit A: her proud parent says she “weys” eight pounds. A healthy weyt, we suppose.

Exhibit B: the parent uses words like “luv” and “nite,” which are not egregious misspellings for a quick Facebook post, but perhaps a bit ditzy for an occasion as momentous as the birth of a child.

Exhibit C: The first commenter on the photo shows similar disregard for basic communication skills with blips like “youre” and “finnally.”

Exhibit D: If you look closely, it really, really appears that the commenter’s profile picture depicts porn hedgehog Ron Jeremy.

#Sad

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