In Soviet Russia, you kill wolf!
(That opening line didn’t really work, did it? Meh. There’s no way I’m writing an article about an offbeat story from Russia and not jamming some kind of Yakov Smirnoff reference into it.)
I don’t know about your grandma, but I can’t see mine engaging in a battle to the death with a wild wolf and emerging victorious. That’s exactly what Aishat Maksudova did, though.
The 56-year-old grandma from a village in the remote Dagestan region of Russia was out herding her cows when she noticed one of the smaller ones was being attacked by a wolf. Not one to let some sweet, sweet veal get away from her without a fight, she grabbed an axe and jumped the wolf.
The wolf fought back, biting chunks out of her leg and arm. Maksudova was not be be denied, however. She bravely (foolishly?) allowed the wolf to clamp its jaws onto her arm and then used her other arm to bludgeon the beast to death with an axe. So heavy metal!
Before you continue with this story, you need to set the mood. Here’s some wolf-killing music for you:
Okay. This story is about to get even better. Maksudova said that, if she could have, she would have shoved her hand down the wolf’s mouth, past its fangs, and torn out its throat:
“I wanted to open his mouth and put my fist all the way there, all the way to his throat. But I could not open him.”
As it turns out, reaching into the mouth of an attacking wolf (or dog) is actually one of the recommended ways to fight back. Who has the guts to actually go through with it, though?
Maksudova was hospitalized with bite wounds, but that doesn’t mean wolves can now roam freely in her village. The other residents of the village have pledged not only to continue defending their herds from wolves, but to actively hunt down and kill all the other wolves in the area.
No word on whether the grandmas of the village will be on the front lines.