Have you ever taken a bite out of a piece of pizza and burned the top of your mouth?
Of course you have. If you’re reading this, that means you’re a human. If you’re human, that means that you’ve eaten pizza and you’ve loved pizza, because pizza is the best food on the planet and it’s beloved by all humans. When Maslow drafted his famous hierachy of needs, he blew it by not putting pizza down at the bottom. Our collective need for pizza is so strong that often we, as a people, take a bite before our collective pies have had the chance to cool down.
What is the solution to this most pressing of issues?
Instead of just, you know, educating the masses to wait a few seconds and allowing their pie to cool down a bit before taking a bit, the world’s top scientists have put their heads together and invented a remedy for the burned mouth that can result from eating hot pizza too soon.
The remedy is in the form of a dissolving strip that that you place on the burned area. It delivers a dose of a painkilling drug, benzocaine. It doesn’t heal your skin (isn’t it just the worst when you get a flap of singed skin hanging down?), but it’s a huge step forward for humanity.
As preeminent pizza blog Slice notes, these ingenious strips aren’t expected to hit shelves for a few years (which is ridiculous–mouths are being burned at this very moment), so you are advised to continue exercising caution while eating pizza. Of course, we all know that you won’t. That greasy, gooey pie is just way too enticing.