The First Trailer For ‘The Canyons,’ Starring Linsday Lohan And A Porn Star, Is So Bad (VIDEO)

Lindsay Lohan doesn’t exactly have her pick of all the best scripts in production in Hollywood at this point, but there’s still something a bit shocking about seeing how far she’s fallen.

The first trailer for her upcoming film, The Canyons, was just released and it’s not good. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Take a look at this pile of garbage:

Where do we even begin, here? Let’s start with the sucky-lookingness of this trailer. The people who edited it were definitely aiming to make it retro, but they badly missed the mark. It makes an overt (and tongue-in-cheek) reference to having a low budget, but there are degrees of low budget: there’s professional, Hollywood low budget and then there’s flunking-out-of-film school low budget. This trailer is a lot closer to the latter than the former. The old film effect and font and music choices in this thing are as amateurish as you’ll ever see. It looks it was cut together by someone using Windows Movie Maker.

Then there’s the actual content of the trailer. This is just a bunch of ultra-cliched shots of Los Angeles and Los Angeles people doing Los Angeles things (like swimming in pools and doing coke). No indication of what the movie is actually about. Not exactly what a trailer is supposed to do.

Of course, we would be remiss if we didn’t mention the fact that the male lead acting opposite Lohan in this film is porn star James Deen. As far as porn actors go, he’s one of the best (or so I’m told… I wouldn’t know *wink wink*). Still, the best porn actor is probably still miles from the worst actor actor in terms of acting ability, right? We have no idea, because there isn’t really any acting in this trailer.

Look, the prospect of seeing Lindsay Lohan act next to a porn star is, admittedly, a little intriguing (and a lot inevitable). Maybe this film will be better than this first trailer indicates. Don’t get your hopes up, though.

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