Earlier this year, the media got all up in arms about a report that some high school and college students were getting drunk by shooting alcohol up their butts. The story was sensational, for sure, but the moral panic subsided when everyone realized that there’s nobody in the world dumb enough to actually shoot booze up his or her butt.
Apparently, we underestimated the stupidity of fratboys.
The Washington Post is reporting that a passed-out student from the University of Tennessee was dropped off at a hospital over the weekend. His blood alcohol level clocked in at over .40–enough to kill a person. Police traced him back to his frat house (Pi Kappa Alpha, for those keeping score) and went over to check on the “brothers” who dumped him at the hospital and then fled the scene.
A bunch of the other fratboys were passed out, too. Wine boxes were strewn about. After questioning the guys who were still conscious, police determined that they had been shoving rubber tubes up their buttholes and then squeezing wine up there.
You read that right. These were actually buttchugging. It’s a real thing!
Quick science lesson: there are a bunch of blood vessels inside your rectum, so it’s possible to get super drunk, super fast by shooting booze up there.
The Pi Kappa Alpha International Fraternity has suspended the Tennessee chapter, probably out of sheer embarrassment for being associated with them more than for rule violations.
The kid who got dropped off at the hospital has his dad on the case (seriously, guy… you ran to daddy to help clean up this mess?). The dad says that “significant errors … have been reported” and indicated that his son didn’t actually jam a rubber tube up his rear end and reverse-fart a bunch of cheap wine. Suuuure.