European Beard and Moustache Championships: Hairy Pageants for Dudes

These facial gifted gents prep before the beard face-off.

Being a man means you can carry heavy objects, open jars, and pee standing up, but it also means one key thing: you can grow lots of hair on your face.

No one loves a nine o’clock shadow or a full-on, grizzly beard than yours truly. When the Olympics rolled around, I thought, What a great platform to showcase athletic prowess. Now with the European Beard and Moustache Championships hitting Wittersdorf, France, I’m thinking, What a nice man pageant for those with hair follicle advantages.

All the best European hair growers face-off in the small community of Alsace and went beard to beard. More than 100 competitors came to claim their prize. Although some may hesitate to give it the attention it so sorely deserves, we want to point out that you get to look at a lot of beards, which is fun for everyone.

“I wouldn’t call it a sport,” Jeffrey Moustache told Huffington Post last year. “It’s pageantry for men. Honestly, you have to laugh at yourself.” Yes, shouldn’t all beards get their chance in the sun? (Note: Is his last name really Moustache, or is that his stage name? We’re not sure.)

If you weren’t able to board a plane to France for the epic battle of follicle supremacy, you’re in luck; the next Beard and Moustache Championships hit Las Vegas on November 11.

Beard conductors keepin’ it real.

Key items: beard curlers and hair dryer.

Top hats and beards go together like monocles and Monopoly.

May the best beard reign supreme.

 

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