This can’t be right. Let me think on it for a moment…
A much softer than she looks, pop princess who thinks she’s a rocker, has become engaged to be married to a much softer than he was ever portrayed, faux-rock, pop music making… …OK, nevermind! This is a match made in heaven.
As you’re well aware, Avril Lavigne was married to that dude from Sum 41, and after several years of marriage, they filed for divorce, citing spousal abuse. No. No, that’s not true. How many times can you write “Irreconcilable Differences?” So. They couldn’t reconcile their differences…which always makes you think: Shouldn’t you do that before you get married?
Nevertheless, Avril has found love again, with Nickelback front man, Chad Kroeger. He’s a fellow Canadian. He’s 37…she’s 27…it seems about right. I know that we’re all hoping for a duet album, or for Avril to be featured on the next Nickelback release. And hopefully, if such is the case, it will come out just before Christmas! In fact, if it were to be a Christmas album!? Scratch that, an Inter-faith holiday album! Mercy. What joy for the season!
Asininity aside. Avril. You’re a pretty lady. It’s OK to enjoy your natural beauty. No one will mistake your new look for weakness. And if you could, please, tell your fiance to stop doing the rocker-hand thing. Beyond that, every happiness is wished to the both of you!