Mashed Potato Slurpee from 7-11 is a Real Thing (VIDEO)

Presume, for a moment, that your arteries have wronged you in some way. Maybe they stole your favorite Han Solo collectible bust, or made eyes at your wife, or told your son that Santa Claus isn’t real. How could you ruin the magic of Christmas like that, arteries? He’s just a child.

In the end, the reason doesn’t really matter. The point is, your arteries need a good, old fashioned beatdown, and 7-11 has got just the thing to do the job.

Introducing the 7-11 mashed potato Slurpee. It is exactly what it sounds like, and it’s coming to a 7-11 near you!

The mashed potato Slurpee has existed for a few years, and is just now making its way to the United States. The concept is simple: place a cup beneath the nozzle, press the ‘mashed potatoes’ button, and watch as piping hot sludge vaguely resembling mashed potatoes pours out of the machine and all over your sense of dignity. Then, top that sucker off with some chicken gravy!

And that’s not all! The thrill-seeker may also choose to stray from the beaten path and try out whatever ‘BBQ mashed potatoes’ are. It’s gourmet self-hatred on demand!

This is clearly the pinnacle of the modern meal. Highly convenient, bland, and calorie-dense, the mashed potato Slurpee is the perfect way to boldly declare unto the world, “Go on without me, life. I give up.”

Try one today!

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2 Responses to Mashed Potato Slurpee from 7-11 is a Real Thing (VIDEO)

  1. Chaz Antonelli says:

    Howdy! I am the New Yorker in the video demonstrating the machine whilst my partner records. I must say that I’m delightfully surprised that this two-year-old video went viral! It’s been on several television shows already, and we’re getting even more requests for networks to use it!

    For those of you wondering, the Mashed Potatoes really taste great — Maggi is a German company (not unlike Betty Crocker in the United States) that manufacturers “instant” food stuff, like powdered gravies, mashed potato flakes, curry sauce and more. The quality is spot on. It tastes a bit better than KFC mashed potatoes and has the same consistency (although the video makes it appear to be a liquid, it’s not after a few moments).

    I for one would LOVE to see these machines come to the United States (and more importantly, New York City), as they are a much healthier snack than a slurpee or fried food.

    I also have a “blooper reel” on youtube, as when we tried to record this video, the first machines were not working properly… Enjoy!

  2. Charlotte Hannah
    Charlotte Hannah says:

    Hey, Chaz!

    Thanks for your comment. I’m honestly surprised that the mashed potatoes taste great. Not being a fan of instant mashed potatoes or 7-11’s ‘food’ selection in general, I had assumed that they would probably taste like an awful combination of salt and paper pulp. But, hey. Different strokes, I guess.

    Whatever floats your boat…down a river of synthesized potato product. :p