Higgs Boson – Scientists Stoked After Discovering This Sweet Particle

Peter Higgs looking happy as f@#k.

If you want to see a room full of white-haired elderly men weep, take a trip to CERN.

The European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) is super stoked over the discovery of a sub-atomic particle that may be the sneaky Higgs boson. Physicists have been breaking an almost-half-a-century sweat to find this trickster.

“This could the Higgs boson that has been found, which may shed light on how matter came into being at the very start of the Universe, a thousandth of a billionth of a second after the Big Bang,” said CERN physicist Yves Sirois.

Shit. That is exciting. Standing Oh’s and cheers erupted after scientists presented new data for the elusive particle that many believe to confer mass. They’re 99.99% sure that this particle is the one.

The gist of the particle is that it plays a key role in explaining how the Higgs mechanism happens in nature. This mechanism gives mass to elementary particles. In other words, it’s a jackpot day for physicists everywhere.

The 4th of July may not only mark American independence, but also the potential discovery of Higgs boson.

Throwing up a fist for the God Particle.

“We have reached a milestone in our understanding of nature,” said CERN Director General Rolf Heuer.

What did the sweet mannered Peter Higgs have to say about this discovery? “I never expected this to happen in my lifetime and shall be asking my family to put some champagne in the fridge,” said the 83-year-old British physicist.

Higgs first published the conceptual groundwork for the boson in 1964, and this discover has caused tears of joy from veteran scientists.

“It may be the Higgs boson,” adds Yves Sirois, “but it may also be something far bigger, which opens the door towards a new theory that goes beyond the Standard Model.”

Well done, sir, well done.

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