June 21st marks the first day of summer–if you live in the Northern Hemisphere–and if you’re a Manolither, there are a few things you’ll want to consider in order to enjoy the summer to its fullest.
When summer rolls around, too many guys are lost in the nether-land of dude. Toeing the line of coolness, yet also allowing for ignorance and apathy to arrest progression…or even worse, causing a seemingly cool dude to quickly play the role of summertime douche. Consider these five essentials for summer lovin’.
Learn How to Cook Over Charcoal
Every year I find myself at a summer barbecue, and there is some dude there who doesn’t understand charcoal–that it doesn’t continue to flame while you cook over it. So, this same “some dude” continues to douse the coals with lighter fluid, then light it with a match or lighter. So wrong. Consider this: Put your coals in a pyramid, or in a chimney starter. Light it appropriately. Let it flame. When they start to ash over nicely, spread ‘em out. Wait. Let them get hot. Cook over them. This seems silly, no doubt, but if you’re going to BBQ, then by rule, there must be smoke. Without smoke, you’re grilling. I know what you’re thinking: Only a douche would care about the difference. No, my friend. You’re a man. Know the difference. Don’t invite your friends to a BBQ if it’s just a community grill. If you know what you’re doing, you might very well save an entire poorly planned event. Nothing wrong with being a BBQ hero.
Always Carry Deodorant
To the gym. To work. To the pool. Especially to the beach. It’s summer, man. A summer glisten can quickly become a summer sweat. Where there’s summer sweat, there’s a potential summer stank. Always be prepared to go to war against it. Keep it in your car, in a bag…you pickin’ up what I’m layin’ down?
Get out of Your House/Apartment
Fair enough. This one may be more for the YouTube/XBox/PS3/WOW crowd. Get out of your place. Get some sunlight. Mix. Mingle. There’s a really good chance you won’t need eHarmony or Match.com if you’ll get out and about, brass up and speak to people who interest and intrigue you. You’re a man, right? So…be a man. And it’s highly recommended you go with the gentlemanly approach. Be respectful to women–and other men–around you.
Stop Swearing Loudly in Public Places
Seriously. Are you 16? If so. You’re playing for par. If you’re out of college. Evolve. For some reason, this seems to get worse during the summer. Perhaps it’s the heat–perhaps it’s an effect of lovely ladies wearing less clothing and absurdly sexy sundresses. Bottom line, nobody, including the family sitting adjacent to you at Buffalo Wild Wings, wants to hear how impressive your vocabulary is when it comes to English slang. While it may be difficult to believe, people in real life don’t necessarily want to live in a Judd Apatow comedy.
Know How to Hit on a Girl in a Swimsuit
This is a slippery slope. If you’re at a pool, the beach or in any other environment where ladies are sporting swimwear, you’ll want to be well prepared when initiating conversation. Get a nice gauge of the scenario. If you can wait until she goes for the towel, or throws on a t-shirt, wait. Then make your move. Otherwise, you must demonstrate expert self-control. A skill which most dudes just don’t have. If you’re a great conversationalist, but struggle with curiosity–mirrored sunglasses may cover a multitude of “I’m up here, pal!” glances. Seriously, potential may run awry with a single false indicator. Got it?
Now go. Go enjoy your summer.