Miami Cannibal Was Not Actually a Cannibal

No flesh was found in the stomach of Rudy Eugene, a.k.a. the ‘Miami Zombie’, according to an autopsy report.

This comes as a surprise, since witnesses reported seeing Eugene chewing on the face of 65-year-old victim Ronald Poppo at the time of the attack. However, this new evidence suggests that Eugene chewed on but did not consume Poppo’s face.

The autopsy report also showed traces of marijuana in Eugene’s system, along with undigested, unidentified pills, which may be the key to determining why Eugene, by all accounts a relatively peaceful man, committed such an atrocity.

Police are still not sure what happened that day or why this tragedy occurred. There is a period of four hours, between the time Eugene was seen parking his car in South Beach, and the time he was shot dead on the causeway, during which no one knows what he was up to. It is suspected that he consumed ‘bath salts’ during this time, though there is no evidence to support this yet.

Meanwhile, at Eugene’s funeral, his family remembered a much different man. His younger brother, Markenson Charles, spoke of Eugene as, “the type of person who would give you his last.”

Hopefully police will be able to get to the bottom of this tragedy soon, so similar tragedies can be prevented in the future.

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