Calm down, evil villains of the world. Yes, scientists have finally figured out how to mount a laser beam on a shark. That’s correct, there are now “sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached” swimming in our oceans.
Unfortunately for those aforementioned supervillains, and fortunately for all of us innocent civilians, the scientists got it all wrong. First of all, the lasers are green. Everyone knows that the lasers are supposed to be red. Secondly, the lasers aren’t even attached to the sharks’ heads. Instead, they are attached to the sharks’ dorsal fins using “non-invasive” clamps. Most importantly, these lasers can’t actually do any damage. What the heck, scientists?
The scientists responsible for this failure hope to obtain data about the velocity and trajectory of swimming sharks. They also want to find out whether sharks, known for avoiding electrical fields, are adverse to laser beams. Early indications are that they are actually attracted to lasers.
Critics have called the whole experiment a stunt and question the value of the data that will be obtained.
Below, some photos of a laser-beam equipped shark: