Who didn’t see this one coming? Honestly? Let me know so I can come to your house and slap you, Jersey style. Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino is in rehab.
If you’re unaware, Jersey Shore is the epitome of the American dynamic – we put people we’d never want to deal with on television, then make them rich, because it somehow supports our fragile egos to watch people on television so we can think that we’re better than them. When in reality, that money would be much better spent doing anything, ANYTHING other than being funneled into the accounts of ‘The Situation’ and co. In a hypothetical dream-type world where you were money, you must be elated if you fall into the hands of the Jersey Shore cast. Because you won’t be with them for very long, you see. As the seasons of Jersey Shore progressed, rumors plagued ‘The Situation’ – that he was constantly doing drugs, blowing all of his hard-earned money, that he was the cast member who had changed the most from the start of the show.
All of that can probably be attributed to a drug addiction. Or he really is that much of a complete idiot – one or the other. His representatives, however, have denied that he’s in rehab, instead saying he’s laying low to recover after a strenuous schedule of appearances and filming.
So one Jersey Shore cast member is in rehab, the other is pregnant. That sound is the universe correcting a previous inbalance.
Jersey Shore is coming back for a sixth season, apparently. Joy.