Miss Wisconsin Takes The Crown Of Miss America

We all have things to be proud of. Tonight, I am proud that Miss America is from the Midwest, specifically Wisconsin.

Why? First of all, nobody knew the Miss America pageant was happening yesterday. People were much more focused on football play-offs, the build-up to the Golden Globes, and the fact that Harry Potter was gallivanting around on Saturday Night Live – so they might’ve missed the fact that ABC was airing the once insanely popular pageant. The other thing you might not’ve noticed about the Miss America pageant is that the girls every year are getting exponentially less Miss-Americay. I mean, 50,000 dollars is still the grand prize. That’s a lot of money you have to spend in preparation for winning a grand prize that’s ONLY 50,000 dollars. Wouldn’t modeling contracts net them more money? Wouldn’t pretty much doing anything get you 50,000 dollars – you could answer the most idiotic questions on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ and walk away with that kind of money.

Anyway, Miss Wisconsin won last night, with an impressive display of operatic singing and talking about the need to be apolitical in order to properly represent Miss America, to a wide-eyed Chris Harrison.

ABC really is lady crack.

Congratulations to Miss Wisconsin. I hope your football team loses today.

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