What the hell are they eating in Wisconsin? Some kind of performance-enhancing cheese? I don’t understand for the life of me how the Packers are 9-0.
Never mind the fact that they’re the returning Super Bowl champs. Never mind that they’re the only team in the entire league that are owned by their fans, they’re having a run of a season that may never be duplicated again, with quarterback Aaron Rodgers posting up numbers that rival Peyton Manning’s or Tom Brady’s. They might go the entire season undefeated. That does not sit well with me, a Bears fan, so here are a number of ways you’d be able to distract the team.
1. Divine Intervention
With the way things are going, the only thing you may be able to do is convince Thor that Clay Matthews is stealing his persona and hope that he strikes him down with his hammer.
2. A Scandal Involving Aaron Rodgers
I have no idea what it’d take to stop the man from throwing a football like an angel playing a harp. Maybe hooking him up with a cast member from ‘The Hills’.
3. A Tainted Cheese Supply
They have to be getting into something. Have to. Congrats to the Packers for an impressive season.
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