Twilight is a giant international franchise, grossing hundreds of millions of dollars despite the wooden acting, plot that’s almost interchangeable with teen dramas on the CW, and chemistry that couldn’t be duplicated by two loaves of bread rubbed together.
But all that matters in Hollywood is the almighty bottom dollar. And the teen trees that populate the world of Twilight are big draws, so they’ve gotten themselves immortalized in the cement outside of the Chinese Theater in Los Angeles. That’s right, their hand and footprints will be alongside people like Humphery Bogart, Douglas Fairbanks, Mel Brooks, Eddie Murphy, giants of cinema. They will now be joined by people like Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner. Have you seen Taylor Lautner act? It’s like watching a bird try really hard to turn itself into a shark – it just doesn’t happen, because nature won’t allow it. It’s clunky and awkward for everyone involved. You’d try to avert your eyes, but it’s so entirely convinced, that you feel obligated to at least take a peek.
That magnetism is now on display, immortalized for the future generations of tourists that’ll come to lick the feet that transformed, at one point, into horny CGI werewolves, obsessed over a girl who seemed to be ordinary.
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