We all knew this day was coming from noted professional and vacuous waste of space Kim Kardashian — she’s going to get divorced after a whopping 3 months of marriage to Kris Humphries. 3 months of marriage. You know who could stay married for 3 months? Practically anybody.
It’s hard to stay married when your purpose in life is only to hawk products to gain publicity and further your families’ agenda (which is to make more money) but somewhere along the road she has dedicated herself to fulfilling her own personal happiness as a woman, which she tried this year by getting married to Kris Humphries in a lavish wedding ceremony that reportedly netted the couple $10 million dollars through advertising and sponsorship.
Things were rosy for the couple, but now the dissolution of their marriage is inevitable. Kris and Kim have both released joint statements her, her family will probably attack him for wanting to be famous or something and he will probably say he tried so hard to make the marriage work and all of America, save for the people who have no lives and watch the family drama played itself out will resolutely cry to the gods of capitalism that nobody cares. Anybody who cares about being chased after with cameras deserves to die lonely. So here’s hoping the Kardashians will fade from the spotlight so they can live normal lives, or this coverage continues until they’re spinsters.